So Santa Didn’t Bring You Teen Spirit

Me in the good old 90's

I wish I could share with you the pages of my journal during the holiday breaks of my high school years. I mean, I could if I really wanted to. They are totally upstairs in a box and I am just being weirdly lazy about scanning and uploading and redacting and stuff. But the point is, if I DID share those pages with you it would look something like this:

December 1-20, the nineties

DUDE. I am so sick of school. I cannot stand my teachers. My friends are being so farking weird. Everyone is going to forget my birthday. Why is the mall so crowded? EW. People are everywhere. Oh crap, I have an exam. I don’t remember having to write a report this week. I hope my report card doesn’t arrive until the new year. School is so dull. I wonder if I will get any cool CDs for Christmas…

December 23-January 2, the nineties

DUDE. I am so sick of my family. I cannot stand my uncle. My neighbors are being so farking weird. Everyone is going to forget my birthday. Why is the mall so crowded? EW. People are everywhere. Oh crap, I forgot to get my cousin a gift. I don’t remember if I wrapped my Mom’s present. I hope my report card doesn’t arrive until the new year. Alabama is so dull. I wonder if I can return the CDs I got for Christmas…

Basically I was your typical dissastified customer in high school. Oh and I am SURE I was a joy to be around. Yup. Me and my head-gear (SHUT UP). I really wanted to be swept away in the élan of Christmas with my family but usually I wanted to be left alone to read in the den and not have to talk to random friends of my grandparents’ that stopped by. If I had to be social with someone then I wanted to be social with my grandfather who was also a fan of sitting in a room and reading– so it worked out.

If I could go back into my Bill & Ted time machine and do some damage control, I would have been less obnoxious. I would have cooked more with my grandmother. I would have taken my cousin to more movies. I would have been more present.

So this is where I get all up in your face and tell you that you can seize the day, heck you can seize the week. If you are trapped in a cycle of typical holiday malaise and eye-rolling, smack your face and smile.