I was stumped for a topic for this post so I turned to my most trusted source of material and asked my kids. My son offered up an essay he wrote for class entitled “The Perfect Family”. While it was tempting to share that little gem with you all, it felt wrong. My daughter then said, “Write about how we get along.” And then I laughed until I fell out of my chair because I thought she was implying that they get along well. She rolled her eyes and said, ”No, I meant how we get along …you know, sometimes badly.” That made more sense.
My son is 10 and my daughter is 6 and, though they seem to love each other, they bicker more than seems reasonable for such small people.
- They bicker over every single game they play because they are both big fat cheaters.
- They bicker over who gets to brush their teeth first but who gets to take a bath last.
- They bicker over who gets to pick the first song in the car and then want veto power over the other’s choice. (My daughter vetoes “Thriller” and my son vetoes “We Got the Beat”).
- They bicker over who gets the jelly jar glass that says “Kerr” on it. I have no idea why.
- They bicker over the pants of the 10,000 Lego figures we have.
- Worst of all, they bicker over who gets to pet the cat. We may be the only family in the history of the world that has to set up joint custody visitation rights over a cat.
I’m not gonna lie – there are times when the bickering turns to brawling. You can imagine my pride when I discover that my children have just gotten into fisticuffs over knitting. When it does go that far, you know who ends up crying every time? The 10 year old. The 6 year old is an ass kicker.
Sometimes, I regret that I live in this day and age when we are all so enlightened about our parenting and worry about self-esteem and peaceful conflict resolution. Why couldn’t my family have lived in the time when parents just let siblings beat the crap out of each other in some sort of cross between WWF and Darwinian Family Feud? WHY?!
I have no doubt that my children will survive each other. I’m just not sure that I’ll survive…unless we keep going to the beach. They are perfectly manageable when immobilized in the sand.