The Married Wives Affairs Club

Now then, internet. Listen up and listen up good! I am a happily married woman and do not plan on having an affair in the near future. Should I ever consider having an affair I doubt very much that I would have the forethought to sign up for one of the many hundreds of internet affair clubs that have suddenly sprung up over the World Wide Web, 20 or so of which send me invites daily. I’m really not that organized.  

You see, I quite like my husband. He still has his own hair and teeth, he makes a fantastic curry and his feet don’t smell. I think I’ve done alright in the marriage department. I, on the whole, have no complaints. On the rare occasions that he goes out of town on important fishing business trips, I relish having the bed and TV remote to myself, not to mention a fart-free evening. I don’t suddenly rush to the internet (*cough*) looking to hook up with some random dude who fancies a quick bunk up with a horny middle-aged housewife in cheap lingerie. I’ve got at least four episodes of America’s Next Top Model on the DVR that need watching.

I appreciate that my email address of ‘veryboredhousewife’ makes me an easy target, but my boredom comes from living in the middle of nowhere and having no decent shopping. It does not stretch to boredom in the bedroom department, and if it did I might have the email address ‘verysexuallyfrustratedhousewifewhosgaggingforit’, you catch my drift?

So, no, I don’t want to join your club. No, I don’t want to get my revenge back on my husband. No, I don’t want to meet other bored married housewives, nor for that matter—whilst we’re on the subject—do I fancy swinging, dogging, a threesome with horny college girls, or any other form of sexual pastime with complete strangers from Iowa.

Nor, oddly enough, do I want to learn three questions that turn women on, although I was sorely tempted in the name of research to click on that. I know what questions would turn me on—”Would you like to go and buy some new shoes?”, “Fancy a trip to New York?” and “Do you want me to run you a bath while I tidy up?” I’m willing to bet a crisp $10 bill that the questions will differ somewhat…

And finally, to the ladies who do join these clubs–have you never heard of divorce?

About Wendy Henderson

Wendy is an English mum living in the middle of lots of rice fields in Northern Spain, she forgets how she got there but that’s probably because her baby won't let her sleep.

She’d love to have a day job but her Spanish isn’t up to much more than grocery shopping, so she wastes her time on twitter as @vbincatalunya and Facebook, and occasionally writes blog posts at www.veryboredincatalunya.com about being English and living in a rice field. She can often be found bemoaning the lack the British cheese and of course, the weather.
In her spare time she speed eats Peanut M&M’s and samples the local wine whilst pinning random stuff on pinterest.

Comments

  1. Alexandra says:

    I follow you on twitter! Found you about a year ago.

    My husband and I were just talking about this very thing this morning…based on what happened here in our quiet suburb, by a what we thought very quiet suburban mom.

    Holy WOW.

    Twitter Name:

  2. Funny, funny, funny. And yes, those would be the questions that would turn me on, plus “Would you like me to take the kiddies to school while you sleep in?” That one makes me moan with pleasure.

  3. I keep getting emails telling me that I can meet great Jewish singles in my area. I am not sure what Jewish singles would want to do with a married, middle aged, Gentile housewife….and I am pretty sure I don’t want to find out.

    Twitter Name:

  4. Joan says:

    I keep getting the following email at least 4 times a day, do you know how to make it stop. It says it is from your married wives affairs club?
    Ashley has a very important and secret message to give you…..don’t be timid…read it…you will love it!
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> Hi there, my name is Ashley and I’m a 27 year old married woman. My friends at The Married Wives Affairs Club wanted me to send a personal message to a few people who have visited dating communities in the past, and we understand that you have. I hope that I am not bothering you in any way, and I’m POSITIVE that you are going to LOVE what I have to say!!!
    >>
    >> Before I start, I want to tell you that married women like me are not easy women. We love our husbands, but since we only live once, we have needs and want to have fun.
    >>
    >>
    >> Okay, I’m a little nervous, but here I go…
    >>
    >> I have been a member of the The Married Wives Affairs Club for almost 1 year now, and I must admit that I am addicted to this site. I love my husband, but he travels A LOT for work, and I have needs that I just can’t control. I’m not looking for love, just for discreet love making with men that I will only see one or two times in my life.
    >>
    >> My husband is also very conservative when it comes to making love, so the guys that I meet at the The Married Wives Affairs Club have to want to please me just like I want to ! Everywhere !
    >>
    >> Here’s what I want to do, I want to invite you to check out this discreet affairs community…please check it out, you will see very beautiful married women that are lonely, and you can be the one to make them feel so much better…and the LOVE MAKING that you will have may be the BEST of your entire life!
    >>
    >> Come on…you know you’re a little curious right?
    >>
    >> Press here if you’re interested in meeting and dating married women like me
    >>
    >>
    >> Now the people who operate The Married Wives Affairs Club picked me to send out this message over the thousands of other married women only because I informed them how much I love their dating site…You and I will probably never meet, but there are thousands of married women just like me that you can date and make love to. In fact, I have met and slept with 15 gentlemen from this site in the past 12 months, and some of the other married women that I have met here have told me they make love to 10 or 20 different men a month. You wouldn’t believe how many husbands leave their wives alone for business…it’s crazy!
    >>
    >>
    >> Press here if you’re interested in meeting and dating married women
    >>
    >>
    >> Have fun no matter what you do in life! Just don’t let the days past you by without enjoying them to the fullest!
    >>
    >> Love,
    >>
    >> Ashley

    • adan says:

      Hey ashle i would like to have fun one day if u want i am single men

      • michael homick says:

        hihoney how are you, nervIous , me some, no sex in 3 yrs broke up lied allot b, well no need to hearl me, I am well built competativlebody builder jand love skex allot all soex to with woman never men, i like tobe on bottom and you lower yourself ontome and slide down theo pole and go fast a second your without noext ono your full and iama thick man and no hair boy no grows it a soft wear engineer retired and look 40 and fleel 25 and am wight resistancee ng ea day for hours a 28 in waist and 46 in chest and a 19 i
        n arm, and 7 1/2to 8 and banana type and again t;hick, i ama gentlman and appear quiet or weak but just kind 7 yrsmilitary been whore houses all over planet took 2 at time like to 694hours went 6 1/2with and t;o a princess legs so hot i came 6 times in all nite from 700m to 300 a:m and she was raw me too are her she kept saying its so big as i lowered her down onto the head as slime covered it she licked it sweet i eat sweet n lowdid the trick changd to pina apple and i like lots a experimental toys and she liked spanking iam bench press max wsa 505 competative and i co capt in olympics and ;trained nfl players and ustreasury instructor long ago and also a personal trainer and former mr ct natural and still competitive

    • james says:

      hi if given a chance, i also want to have fun with you some day

  5. insurance says:

    well what next:-)

  6. builder says:

    Can we really go any lower

  7. Malcolm says:

    Yeeeaaaaa Lets get it on ladies…. Just add me on FB

  8. Eitan says:

    Hi its look very interesting

  9. nena says:

    Nice one u got here Ashley

  10. Szakacs Stefan Gabriel says:

    How are you ? Start 2012; 7 all?

  11. Buzz says:

    All I can say………..to each his own. Non of my business. If you need more? Good luck!
    Be happy!! Don’t catch anything!

    There might be a bill in congress soon where they come and check your computer fo a spouse and then you will PAY!!! There might even be a sex tax!

  12. lonzo says:

    Hello everyone, im new to this site & curious. Im a 38 yr old man in the St.Louis Mo area, im a single father & have been for 17 yrs, im looking for descreet affairs with lonely married women as well. Im very laid back & easy to get along with. If theres anyone out here who would like to know more & think that they’d like to get together get in touch with me

  13. jason says:

    hi, im a 41 year old male attractive, easy going and very kind, i always wanted to have sexy fun with woman and couples and now i am out of a 12 year relationship and free. i am from benton harbor michigan area and would love to here from some people. my name is jason, thank you.

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