The Lazy Way to DIY a Skirt and Confound the Neighbors

1. Emasculation. Dig out a pair of capri pants that don’t fit well so you may ruin without guilt. Using a seamripper, those golden stork scissors, a straight razor or a paring knife, cut all the threads holding the inseam together. This is time-consuming; you may want to put a movie on for this step. Something girl-powery to celebrate how liberated you feel to be changing pants into a skirt. (In your face, suffragists.)

2. Needle in a haystack. Pin the seams back together like a skirt. Be sure to use the tiny pins that vanish in the carpet. Don’t worry: you’ll find them eventually.

3. Line in the sand. Put the skirt on carefully being mindful of the pins. Fold the pointy bit that used to be the crotch over and hold it flat against your thigh. Using a pencil, scratch out a line in that fold where you plan to sew the new seam of your skirt. The back seam will be more awkward and your telescope-wielding neighbor will wonder where you’re going with that pencil, but no matter.

4. Pin, regret. Pin that line on the front and back, then iron them into creases so that you know just where to sew. The crease will hold unless you have sweaty hands because you realize that by the time the skirt is done you’ll have spent three hours and if you’d been working you could have billed for those three hours and just bought a damn skirt. And a cocktail.

5. Make the most [hic] of it. You’re invested now. Put a silly straw into that whiskey bottle; we don’t have time for mixers.

6. Sew perfect. With or without a sewing machine, sew along those soggy creases in perfect stitches. Doing it by hand gives you that extra special womanly feeling. (The one you have when you wonder why the hell you don’t have a sewing machine.) Just make sure the seam is straight so that the next person with their head up your skirt will be impressed with your handiwork.

7. It’s a good thing. Turn the skirt inside-out, fold your new seams open and iron them flat. This will give you that crisp, didn’t-just-sew-it-myself finish you’re looking for.

8. Ta dah! Wear your new skirt with pride! Parade it around for all those crafty sorts to envy. Just remember if you haven’t taken enough out of the crotch in front, the folks at the block party will think you’re extra happy to see them.

Photo Credits: Taken by me. You can tell because they reek of awesome.

About the Writer

My name is Kristina, and I’m the brains for better or for worse at www.OnBlank.com. Culinary klutz, type-A lunatic. Always trying to keep my cheese from slipping off my cracker.