My family and I recently made the move to the Suburbs. The Capital S Suburbs. Not a little side street near town where you can walk to a Starbucks, but a Planned Community. With Identical Houses. And an HOA sending me warnings when I don’t take in my garbage can. My transition reminds me of a novel I’ve forgotten the title and author of, but I do remember this one quote: “I find I’ve moved to the suburbs. Is there anything that can be done?”
I’ve always been fully urban. I like busy streets, full of sketchy looking people and indie coffee shops. Not that I’m cool. I’m not. I’m a middle-aged, hopelessly hippie-skirted SAHM mom. Still. Planned communities, in theory, make me want to run out and get pierced in some awkward region.
However.
Here I am.
And I love it. My house is huge. We have a pool. There is a massive amount of green space for frolicking. The people are happy and nice and pretty. All of them. It’s weird. The elementary school kicks ass. The crime rate is non-existent.
And yet, and yet. The huge houses all look the same, despite the four different floor plans. The green space for frolicking is eerily uniform. The people are happy and nice and pretty. All of them. It’s weird. The elementary school that kicks ass caters to a pretty privileged socio-economic class of kids. The crime rate is non-existent because the whole area caters to a pretty privileged socio-economic class of adults.
Still, my experience here has broken some prejudicial stereotypes I’ve carried for years, (and yes, prejudice against rich white people is still prejudice). The women I’ve met aren’t the least bit cliquey. It’s been easy to make friends. There are other Jewish people here. Everyone loves my kids’ mop tops, even though the standard cut is country club short. The people in general are sweet and real, and they get that they are living in a protective bubble. They’re not stupid.
It’s a cozy bubble.
Do I want my kids to grow up in it? I can take them to visit the busy streets full of sketchy folks and street art and a million bookstores and about billion different cultures…is it the same? It’s not. Do I want to live in it?
I don’t know. Can you help? Is there anything to be done?
Photo Credit: Bill Ward’s Brickpile
About Peryl Manning
It sounds better than I ever imagined the suburbs could be. We did the ‘burbs briefly and it was lame. Really lame. Of course, there are other nicer ones than where I lived where the people swear it’s one step away from xxxxxxx (insert the perpetually idealized locale of your choice). I get your concern, though, and if it were me, I’d be wondering when the other shoe was going to drop because in my mind, there’s always a balance…yin and yang, if you will. That doesn’t mean the flip side of such awsomeness couldn’t be something minor and tolerable. If you really love it, I say stay a while and see how it pans out. I mean you’re already there, right?
Twitter Name: Izzymom
I think I got lucky – I’ve met a great group of women – no cliquiness, totally accepting – but I’m told it’s not the norm. Or maybe I’m just completely oblivious!! Either way, it’s working for me. But we’re renting, so we’re taking it month to month…I hear you about balance. I’m waiting for the other shoe too.
Hmmmm. Happiness is a dilemma, isn’t it? I’m serious. There is something about knowing that you’re in an “unreal” society (only in the sense of it being a specific and fairly singular demographic) that just feels odd. Can anything be done? That is a genuine question.
Thanks Dusty – you are insightful as always. We need to finish this conversation over a bottle of wine…
Hopefully, your burb has a one-family gay ghetto somewhere near the downtown area. In which case, you’re probably living in my burb. If so, you’re welcome to stop by sometime! We’ll put up the rainbow flag and crank the Indigo Girls tunes especially for you!
Twitter Name: GaytheistGospel
I would love that SO MUCH! Actually, one of my son’s preschool friends has two moms, so perhaps there are TWO families in the gay ghetto. You’re not in Danville, are you? That would just make my year!
OK.
My ONLY disturbia survival trick:
THE INTERNETZ.
You won’t make it without it.
xo
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
Good thing Santa brought my ipad. I’m hooked up!