We'll be doing this on Black Friday. Decorating and sitting by the fire.
Ah, Black Friday. The day after Thanksgiving. The unofficial start of the Holiday Season. Many folks get up at the butt crack o’dawn to venture out to get the good deals and special items before anyone else.
It’s such a glorious morning. Plenty of parking! Awesome deals! Plenty of stuff in stock! Happy employees! The most polite shoppers anywhere!
By the way, it’s “totally the opposite of that” Day.
Dude. Couldn’t pay me to shop that day.
My top ten reasons for staying in bed on Black Friday are:
10) I finished my shopping already. Go ahead, hate me.
9) The Internets
8) Free shipping
7) Online only deals
6) THE INTERNETS, PEOPLE.
5) I am not a violent person by nature. If someone pushes me or touches me I might end up handcuffed. And not to a bed.
4)I can sleep in because THE INTERNETS
3)The store deals are RARELY that good.
2) They never have stuff in stock that people really want anyway and it creates frustration and mass hysteria and people grab, grab, grab and forget the manners they learned in Kindergarten and…
1) PEOPLE, THEY HAVE THIS NEW INVENTION CALLED THE INTERNETS.
I love a good deal. I love to shop and am quite frugal (read: CHEAP). This time of year, though? I just don’t like shopping. I don’t want people flipping me off for getting a parking spot before them. Or wrestling me for a cart. Those days are LONG GONE. Never again, uh uh, no way, no how. I’m sticking to point, click, TADA for now on.
Chances are if you buy something on the internet? It’s available on forty websites and if it isn’t, they’re selling “IT” for a ridonkulous amount of money on e-Bay so you can get the Gaming System or ______ (insert oft-fought-0ver Elmo toy here) if you absosmurfly HAVE TO HAVE IT. I’d like to spread holiday cheer by NOT contributing to the chaos, mmkay? In other words, my blood pressure is nice and low and I never have to leave the house. Win-win situation for all. Especially for the people who live with me.
Now, it ain’t for everyone. Some folks don’t like the ole credit cards, chances of online fraud and prefer to shop in bricks and mortar stores with cash. They also don’t mind waiting in lines longer than the Department of Transportation. I ain’t one of those. I shop in real, live stores for most of the year. But starting Black Friday? Not a snowball’s chance in hell I’ll set foot in a store that day, that weekend,Christmas Eve,Boxing Day or…
Oh glorious, glorious invention called the Internets!
THANK YOU, AL GORE!
About Marj Hatzell
My sisters are trying to convince me to go out shopping with them. They must be crazy. Them and every other Black Friday nutcase. Not to say that I’m not crazy – I’d just rather keep my crazy in the crib and on the Internets tonight.
Twitter Name: JWMoxie
I agree! I hate Black Friday – I worked retail for 10 years and it’s just a miserable day for all. The only ones who are truly happy are the corp executives who are not working on that day or worrying about bargain prices.
And I am hating that you finished your xmas shopping already
Twitter Name: laliquin
Oh internets. I’m buying nothing — except wine because I’m OUT, OH HORRORS — tomorrow. But last year, I woke up at 4:30, reloaded the Sears website, entered my credit card info for the TV already in my cart, and went back to bed. I was asleep in ten minutes. I won.
Twitter Name: FireMom
And not just for all of those good reasons, but also because “they have the internet on computers now”
I have Amazon, Overstock and various other online retailers. I have gift cards in my grocery store. I plan not to set foot in a mall until after MLK day.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren