When I was in high school, not everybody was having sex. It seems — from my old lady perspective — that things are different now. I once watched an episode of Oprah when a friend called me freaking out about it and I nearly died. Kids in elementary school were doing things I didn’t know were possible when I was that age. Heck, I was still playing with Barbies then.
I don’t know. Like I said, I’m old. I’m 31. That’s, like, midlife to a 16-year-old. What I do know is what you see on Teen Mom?
That shiz is for real.
We didn’t have Teen Mom to scare us straight in my high school days. But we had my mom – who is, without a doubt, the world’s best mom – to keep us in line and remind us of alllll the things that would change if we had babies. She loved being a mom. She knew she wanted to be a mom since she was a little girl. But she made sure we knew how much work it was and every. last. thing. we’d miss out on if we decided to become moms.
I didn’t listen to many of the things my parents told me, but the bit about not getting knocked up in high school? That stuck.
I agreed not to have sex during high school (and it’s not true when your friends say the only people not having sex are people who can’t) and after that, I was very, very careful. Very careful.
When I was finally ready to be a mom, we decided to adopt. So just to be clear here, I made a deliberate decision to become a parent that required a lot of work and money and time. I was 27 the first time and 28 the second.
I was old. I was prepared. I wanted it. And the first few years were hard. I’d do them all over again in a heartbeat. I’m pretty sure I have the most amazing and adorable kids. I love them more than I love anybody.
But dude, no way, no how would I have wanted to do this when I was 16.
I’m a good mom. I know we talk about Aiming Low around here and trust me, I take that to a new level. A few weeks ago, my husband was out of town and I had pneumonia. I had a buttload of pizzas delivered and fed my kids pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner for several days. Really.
But I’m a good parent. I can be. I’m 31 now. I’ve finished all of the education I want. I had a lot of fun when I was young. It’s not that life ends when you become a parent, but it does change drastically. It has to change – if you’re doing it right, the world no longer revolves around you. But when you’re 16, your world should revolve around you.
You never know what you’re going to get when you become a parent. You might have easiest, smartest, happiest child ever. Or you might have a grumpy baby who never sleeps. Or you might have a wonderful child with special needs who requires a lot of medical care. Or you might have health problems following pregnancy.
So that stuff you see on Teen Mom? It’s for real. Just keep that in mind.
About Laura Willard
I had a cousin who became pregnant at 17…she got dumped promptly and my parent moved her into our house when her parents kicked her out. She’s like a big sister to me, and her pregnancy and single mom-hood for the years after were the best birth control I ever had. My husband and I were mid-twenties when our son came along. I was more prepared than most, even though he was a surprise and we were still in college. Watching my cousin raise her son alone taught me all of what I know. I’m grateful to her. Teen mom is real, or at least some parts are.
My sister was a teen mom. She got pregnant at the beginning of her senior year and delivered my nephew two weeks after graduation. Even though she had our support (the father was and has been completely out of the picture), it was still tough. My nephew is 10 years old now and it’s STILL tough.
This is a great post. I know that some teens see Teen Mom and because it’s on TV and these girls have achieved a certain amount of fame over it, real kids still don’t exactly get that these are real situations with life-long consequences.
Twitter Name: JWMoxie
My mother put the fear of pregnancy in me so badly that when I got pregnant, on purpose, at 30, I freaked out a little when I first saw the two pink lines!
And then when I finally got to meet my little guy, it was 9 weeks early and he turned out to be one of those wonderful children with special needs who requires a lot of medical care. Absolutely not for the faint of heart.
Twitter Name: msmegan
It is so different now days. The thing about having a show on tv about teen moms is that now all the girls think it is “cool” to get pregnant!!! It is not scaring them its making them want to be the girls they see on tv!!
Its sad and scary if you ask me!!!
I started in on this epic length comment until I realized that I can write about this for my Miss Unlimited Post next week. So, stay tuned….
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
I have to say, I completely agree. When my kids are the right age, we will watch that show together, because, DUDE, it’s scary. I wasn’t a teen mom, but I did have my first right out of college. I was 22 and had a college degree and a lot of family support, but when I watch that show I cry. Because yes. It’s scary and lonely and you love that baby more than you thought you could love anything EVER, but you’re constantly scare that you’re ruining his life.
Twitter Name: ecnewlin
No kidding! I had my first daughter at 37 and HOLY CRAP it’s hard being a parent. Now I’ve got two and it’s still hard. I wasn’t ready until I was ready and I am so glad I waited until I was ready.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami