The Six Friends Every Mom Needs

My husband and I chose recently, for some inexplicable reason, to move to a new state where we know no-one (something about career progression, great opportunity, blah blah blah). While I am enjoying being able to wear a T-shirt in November, I am mourning the loss of the really spectacular mom community that was as close to family as anyone could be.

I believe there are certain types of friends that every mom needs, and I am currently holding open applications in six categories (listed below). Job benefits include friendship bracelets, unlimited hair-related reassurance and semi-weekly irrational phone calls. If you qualify for two or more of the categories listed, you may also be entitled to lengthy proclamations of adoration over Skinny Girl margaritas.

The mom friends we all need include:

1. The “there-in-a-pinch” mom friend –  will do an emergency baby suppository run when your little one is glued to the toilet and your spouse is out of town, no questions asked.

2. The “exactly-your-level-of-crazy” mom friend – you can call and confess to her that you had cereal and wine for dinner, and that your Tupperware drawer is trying to kill you.

3. The “all-baby-all-the-time” mom friend – will engage enthusiastically in any detail of your baby’s development, including his bowel movements/brilliance and agree on their peculiarity/outstandingness, even though she has three equally peculiar and outstanding children of her own.

4. The “baby-doesn’t-break-her-stride” mom friend – the opposite of number three; who will drag you out for martinis and ban all kid-related talk for the evening.

5. The “repository of all information” mom friend – reads all the latest studies on childhood development (so you don’t have to), who knows whether to red-shirt your kindergartener, where to buy the most highly recommended potty-seat, and will teach you tips like using your empty egg cartons to hold poster paint and how to make live action puppets out of discarded potato peels.

6. The “well-rounded” mom friend – will talk with you endlessly about just how you’re both going to lose those last few (dozen) pregnancy pounds (even though you’re both much too deep to worry about appearances); and totally gets how constant repeats of Golden Girls and the occasional Real Housewife episode are essential to your well-being (even though you’re both far too busy and intellectual for television).

Applications to be submitted in twistable crayon. Those things are genius.

Photo Credit: Lu_lu

About Peryl Manning

Peryl Manning is somewhat (and pleasantly) surprised to find herself the mother of two almost freakishly dimpled little boys. She isn’t sure she should be the one in charge though; at thirty-something she still manages to somehow end up sitting in her own gum, and last week she found her credit card in the fridge with the leftover pizza. She loves mellow moms and Ayelet Waldman; she hates judgy moms and truffle oil. She juggles kids, contributing to the Seattle Post Intelligencer, Momtastic and Mamazina Magazines, and other parenting publications, with whatever grace she can summon.

Comments

  1. Mandyland says:

    Hm…I think I fall under category 6 if you’re accepting virtual apps. xoxox

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  2. Ms. A says:

    Yeah, no, I don’t think I ever had a friend that had those qualifications. However, I have several of them, or did have, when I was raising my kids.

  3. K's mom says:

    I’ll apply for number 2!! That’s my ‘thing’.

    Cass

  4. I fit the bill for #2 and #6 in case you are matching us up virtually/long distance?
    ;-)

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  5. JW Moxie says:

    I’m applying for #2 and #6. I’ll bring the Lucky Charms and cheap liquor. Four Loko okay with you?

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    • Peryl says:

      2 and 6 AND cheap liquor?? You just bumped Erin off the top of the list :). Plus, “Moxie” is one of my favorite words ever. I would have used it as a middle name for my kids if my husband hadn’t nixed it. Along with “Tiger.” If Tiger Woods hadn’t gone and messed that one up.

  6. KLZ says:

    But my Tupperware drawer IS trying to kill me!

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  7. Sugar Jones says:

    Great list!

    I always like adding in “The Non-Mom” to my list. She’s similar to #4, but there’s no risk of baby talk. It’s good to practice remembering who we are independent of our little cherubs, and non-moms are the best at helping us in that practice. One day, the kids will leave, and we have to hold on to the girl inside so that we come out the other side in tact… mostly. :)

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  8. Dusty says:

    Awesome list, Peryl. I’d be #1 for you, but I think you’re on the opposite coast :-(

  9. Peryl Manning says:

    That would be a long suppository run…but I’ll rely on your for virtual hugs!

  10. UnknownMami says:

    Yup, I’d say that list covers all the bases.

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  11. Sue Jackson says:

    Brilliant as always, Peryl!! Mostly, I need #1 and #2 and am so fortunate to have both in one lovely friend.

    It must be sooo tough moving somewhere new. We moved before we had kids, so many of our friends were people we knew from work, but I can see how a busy family life could make it tough to get to know people. I do remember going through a similar transition after I left my job and feeling a bit left out and friendless for a while. Now my two closest friends just happen to be the mothers of my son’s two closest friends so that works out quite well.

    Sue

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