My husband and I chose recently, for some inexplicable reason, to move to a new state where we know no-one (something about career progression, great opportunity, blah blah blah). While I am enjoying being able to wear a T-shirt in November, I am mourning the loss of the really spectacular mom community that was as close to family as anyone could be.
I believe there are certain types of friends that every mom needs, and I am currently holding open applications in six categories (listed below). Job benefits include friendship bracelets, unlimited hair-related reassurance and semi-weekly irrational phone calls. If you qualify for two or more of the categories listed, you may also be entitled to lengthy proclamations of adoration over Skinny Girl margaritas.
The mom friends we all need include:
1. The “there-in-a-pinch” mom friend – will do an emergency baby suppository run when your little one is glued to the toilet and your spouse is out of town, no questions asked.
2. The “exactly-your-level-of-crazy” mom friend – you can call and confess to her that you had cereal and wine for dinner, and that your Tupperware drawer is trying to kill you.
3. The “all-baby-all-the-time” mom friend – will engage enthusiastically in any detail of your baby’s development, including his bowel movements/brilliance and agree on their peculiarity/outstandingness, even though she has three equally peculiar and outstanding children of her own.
4. The “baby-doesn’t-break-her-stride” mom friend – the opposite of number three; who will drag you out for martinis and ban all kid-related talk for the evening.
5. The “repository of all information” mom friend – reads all the latest studies on childhood development (so you don’t have to), who knows whether to red-shirt your kindergartener, where to buy the most highly recommended potty-seat, and will teach you tips like using your empty egg cartons to hold poster paint and how to make live action puppets out of discarded potato peels.
6. The “well-rounded” mom friend – will talk with you endlessly about just how you’re both going to lose those last few (dozen) pregnancy pounds (even though you’re both much too deep to worry about appearances); and totally gets how constant repeats of Golden Girls and the occasional Real Housewife episode are essential to your well-being (even though you’re both far too busy and intellectual for television).
Applications to be submitted in twistable crayon. Those things are genius.
Photo Credit: Lu_lu