I am Latina, my husband is not.
I speak Spanish, my husband does not.
I have a vagina, my husband…wait, that is totally off topic.
Here’s the deal, my husband and I communicate in English (and non-verbally, but again that is irrelevant). I happen to speak Spanish and have a large extended family that speaks Spanish as well. When spending time with my side of the family my husband finds himself not understanding a lot of what is being said. Sometimes this works in his favor because he can tune out (a luxury I don’t have when visiting his side of the family, not that I need it- they are lovely and know how to read).
Sometimes my husband remembers that he took Spanish in high school, where he apparently honed his tuning out skills, and tries to sprinkle his lingo with a little Español. Sometimes it works and when it does it’s great, but when it doesn’t it’s even greater.
This is the part where I get to tell you about 2 times that it didn’t work and it was AWESOME.
In the first example, we were at our home in San Francisco and some of my relatives came to visit. A bunch of the relatives were youn’uns and since my husband couldn’t understand what the grown ups were saying he decided to lead the younger generation in a rousing game of UNO. They were impressed by his mad skillz and asked him how he kept winning. To this day I thank my lucky stars that I was in the room to witness him saying, “I use my nalgas” as he pointed to his head.
The kids looked at him for a second and then one of them asked him to repeat himself. He said, much more haltingly this time and in the form of a question, “I use my nalgas?” At this point, we all lost it and started laughing hysterically at the thought of him using his butt cheeks to win round after round of UNO.
In the second example he was driving and a portly man ran across the street in front of our car. My husband yelled out the window, “Hurry up, Guapo!” Of course I started laughing and when he asked me what was so funny, I told him I thought it was nice of him to call the jaywalker “Handsome” instead of “Gordo” which means “Fatso”.
I am raising our daughters to be bilingual so I really appreciate it when my husband goes out of his way to use Spanish, but I appreciate it even more when he uses it incorrectly. Diversity is a good thing.
About UnknownMami
hahaha! :)
My husband is Filipino and I know very few Tagalog words. I know one phrase that is a really formal way of saying “I’m leaving now,” and my husband always replies with, “Where are you going, respectful person?”
Hey, at least you are being polite.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
Love it…at least he tries! My hubby thinks he knows other languages but he learns a few words and uses it annoyingly!
That is so funny! MY husband is American too. He is so cute when he speaks Spanish! (And by cute I mean hilarious)
For years he would call my aunt “Molly” when her name was “Magaly”. He still insists on saying “Ya pues” at least 10X day.
My husband loves that he can “tune out” at gatherings where everyone is speaking Spanish, but he tunes out so effectively that when someone speaks to him in English I have to say, “Honey, you are being spoken to in English. Time to pay attention.”
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
That’s great! I know quite a few men who use their butt cheeks more than their brains LOL
Congratulations to Aiming Low for asking you to hang out with them – those are some smart folks!
I think I should hire you are my PR rep.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
Butt cheeks Uno sounds a lot funner than boring old regular Uno. Your husband is a visionary.
Twitter Name: Chase_McFadden
He is a visionary when it comes to butt cheeks and Uno. The neighbors called the cops on us once because we were being too rowdy while playing UNO.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
I love that your husband yelled “Hurry up, Handsome!” to a jaywalker. What must have gone through that man’s mind…
Part of why I found it so funny was because I kept imagining what the jaywalker must have thought. Something along the lines of…I have been working out lately, I guess it’s paying off.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
LOL – hurry up handsome! I’m going to start using that.
I wouldn’t use it on your husband during intimate moments.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
really? why not? sounds like the best time!
Twitter Name: classicnycgirl
My ex’s family spoke only french, and while I speak basic french, it only came out after too much wine. Any other time, I smiled and nodded, or stared at my plate, rearranging my peas. It really was a fantastic way to ensure that I could always get along with my in-laws.
Now that I’m with a man whose mother speaks english as her first language, I understand the frustration of the in-laws.
I am convinced that my mother and husband get along phenomenally because most of the time they aren’t listening to each other.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
THIS??
SO FUNNY>>>!!
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
Gracias!
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
My funniest memory of 8th grade Spanish class was a guy saying he was “muy embarazado” because he farted really loudly. I’m not sure which ended up embarrassing him more–the actual bodily function, or finding out that he told everyone that he was very pregnant.
Oh, this made me laugh. The thing is you do get farty when you are pregnant.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
He’s so charming. (I’d use the Spanish word, but I don’t want to provide blog fodder for you.haha)
Come on, I can use all the blogger fodder I can get!No one is safe.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
It’s great that your husband supports your blogging with such great botched Spanish. I have a few Spanish speaking relatives in my extended family now so I’ll be careful when tossing a few Spanish words around.
My husband is nothing if not supportive. He is excellent blog fodder.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami