- Kermit singing his classic, “I Got Caught by a 5-Year-Old, and Now I’m an Ice Cube.”
My wife cleaned out our freezer recently. Not surprisingly, she found a frog frozen in a small plastic container of water.
She came outside and shared her discovery with me.
“So check this out.”
“Looks like a frog.”
“No crap it looks like a frog. It is a frog.”
“That would explain the appearance then. And it was in the freezer?” I asked with feigned ignorance.
I say feigned ignorance — one of the many varieties of ignorance I specialize in — because I had come across this particular block of frog last summer but put it back in the freezer so I could show it to my wife when she got home from work. Apparently I forgot, and Muppet on Ice got shuffled behind a box of G0-Gurts and a bag of frozen peas.
“Gee, I wonder who would have put a frog in the freezer?” she asked.
“Yes, that’s a real mystery,” I replied with genuine sarcasm — one of the many varieties of sarcasm I specialize in.
When it comes to small amphibious creatures appearing in blocks of ice next to the Totino’s, there’s one likely suspect, and he happened to scamper by at that exact moment.
“Look what Mom found.”
“My frog!” the 5-year-old exclaimed.
- It appears this frog is swimming. He’s definitely not.
His voice had that same gleeful tone of wonderment yours or mine might have when shouting “My keys!” or “My phone!” or “My hair!” after such a valued item had been located and returned after a long absence. Factors like plastic container and ice and the place that our family stores the food that we eat were minor details that had no bearing on my son’s reaction whatsoever.
After momentarily breaking his stride, he bolted off again, leaving his mom and me standing in his wake.
“Oh, well. It could be worse, I guess,” said my wife, sighing and shaking her head.
“True,” I said. “By the way, have you looked in the freezer downstairs?”
About Chase McFadden
Too funny!
OMG, get that kid to a therapist! You’ll be finding heads in the freezer when he’s 16. Seriously, though, you handled that so calmly. I’m wondering what else you’ve found in your freezer?
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo