The holidays are upon us and, for many of us, that means lots of time with our extended families. When the quantity of time spent with family increases, so does the potential for awkward and/or offensive conversations. Because I care about you, I am going to provide you with possible ways to handle those conversations and, to make it even more fun, we’re going to do it Mad Lib style.
We’re doing this old school so take out a writing instrument and a piece of paper. Number your paper as indicated below and write your word choice next to the number. After you’ve done your list, click to the next and revel in your clever conversational skills!
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noun
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number
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name
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verb with -ing
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noun
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name
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adjective
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adjective
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noun
-
profession
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verb
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noun
-
noun
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noun
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verb
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noun
-
adverb
-
noun
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article of clothing
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verb
-
expletive
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verb with -ing
“Mom, I know you were disappointed when I didn’t become a (1:noun). You’ve mentioned it (2:number) times in the last hour. Did you know that (3:name) is (4:verb with -ing) the (5:noun)?”
“Uncle (6:name), I had no idea that that those (7:adjective) protesters on Wallstreet were (8:adjective) commies. Please pass the (9:noun).”
“How do you know your (10:profession) is really gay? You can’t assume that just because you saw him (11:verb) his (12:noun).”
“Would you excuse me? I think I left my (13:noun) in the kitchen next to my bottle of (14:noun). If I don’t come back, eat without me.”
“Do you (15:verb) smoke?! I think the (16:noun) is on fire! Do something (17:adverb)!”
“You have a little (18:noun) on your (19:article of clothing). You might want to go to the bathroom and (20:verb) it off.”
“What the (21:expletive) are you (22:verb with – ing) about?”
Break these out at your next family gathering and you’ll likely end up sitting at a table by yourself. You can thank me later.
Share your best with the rest of us in the comments!
About Vikki
I’ve often thought that, like the children’s table, there should be a sort of “conscientious objectors” table for those who don’t want to join in the conversational melee. There are many things my extended family don’t know about us and we have adopted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy but even that doesn’t guarantee peace.
“Don’t ask, don’t tell” has never worked well…not on a national level and not on a familial level. Good luck!
Twitter Name: uppoppedafox
Love this!
This would have been as fun as Apples to Apples. I’m printing this for Christmas.
Twitter Name: funnyorsnot
Man! Mine were really bad, like a 4th grader wrote them…that’s what you get for not peeking!
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo