This picture for demonstration purposes only. I totally puked after taking this picture. Sensory issues much?
There’s something that irks me about seeing (and hearing) someone chewing like a cow. Like, out in public and stuff, chew, chew, chew. I know, I have weird hangups.
I don’t want to see the inside of someone’s mouth while I’m talking to them at the bank or checking out at the grocery store. Or heck, at a school meeting for one of my sons. I just don’t think it’s professional to have your mouth hanging open, smacking your lips the whole time. Telling me about progress and goals and chew chew chew...
I’m talking about chewing gum, see.
There are two things I don’t like about gum:
(A) Seeing you chew it (2) Hearing you chew it and (D) smelling it.
Ok, that’s three things I don’t like about gum. See? I despise it so much it is making me forget things!
Is it just me? Or are you totally cool with the waitress taking your order and she’s all, “Iced tea? No problem, chew, chew,blow bubble, pop bubble with tongue, chew, chew.”
*Shudder*
The smell of someone’s tutti fruitti or peppermint gum sends me into a tailspin. It’s an acrid smell that violates my senses. I get hives just thinking about it. I know. Weird, right?
Wanna know what I love? Do you? Huh? I’m gonna tell you anyway, because I’m awesome like that. I LOVE it when I’m walking someplace in public and I take a step and without looking can tell I’ve tread into a gi-huge-ic wad of someone’s chewing gum. That’s been IN THEIR MOUTH and stuff. And I have to get it off because it’s connecting my shoe to the sidewalk.
But wait! THERE’S MORE! I LOVE it when I’m at a decent restaurant and put my knee up or my hand grazes the underneath of the table and I FEEL GUM. EEEEWWWWW! I’m totally not a germaphone. No really! I’m not! But gum? Childbirth is preferable. Yep, I know. I’ve got issues. Tell me something I don’t know.
Naturally, because I’m so fond of gum, my kids love it. In fact, one child is allowed to chew it at school to deal with “test anxiety” and stuff. I have to go to the store AND BUY IT FOR HIM. Gum is like hot lava to me, I sure as heck don’t wanna touch it.
Which is why I tried it for the first time in a long time the other day because it was a free sample. Verdict? Still makes me wanna hurl.
You’re welcome.
About Marj Hatzell
I TOTALLY agree with you! There is no one that looks good or sounds good chewing gum. Nobody! Hate it, hate it, hate it!
Twitter Name: late_mommy
Thank you. Very much. Because most people think I’m crazy.
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
I disagree. I would MUCH rather someone chewed gum than had bad breath. Eww to bad breath.
I’d rather smell bad breath. No really. At least it’s natural.
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
I’d rather than someone keep a stash of mints on hand!
my breath would be worse
Um, mouth wash?
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
only lasts for about 2-minutes.
Don’t even get me started…gum, nonsense humming, foot tapping on base of the table…
I am SO with you on this! Chewing gum is SO trashy and icky. Yuck. My kids love it too and one daughter comes home from EVERY playdate with a big wad of it in her mouth. I mostly make her spit it out the second she comes through the door…unless I’m feeling charitable…then it lasts 5 minutes, or an hour, if she is nowhere near me in the house for that long. Don’t mind the smell, unless it’s grape-flavored gum. Ewwwwwwwww!
Totally despise gum!!! And, like you, my kids beg for it( they never get it from me). Also have issues with ice chewing – when people do that, it is all I can hear- I can’t focus on anything else. And of course, my kids LOVE to chew ice as does my husband…
You are not alone! I think gum is so gross!! Yuck! I never bought it for my kids and they felt so deprived. But I just couldn’t do it. It makes me nauseous too. Gum-haters unite!!
My sister is like that. She hates it when I visit and her kids ask me for it. (I too keep it on hand for breath saving purposes, maybe I should do the mint thing..)
You both would be disgusted at the places my daughters leave theirs. So am I.
You know there is a whole country that feels the same way? In my backpacking days, I travelled through Singapore, where it is illegal to even bring the stuff into the country. You would never ever have to worry about stepping in gum in Singapore.
I don’t mind discreetly chewed gum, but am appalled when I see gum being disposed of anywhere but in the rubbish bin, under restaurant tables makes me wanna hurl too.
You are so funny, I love you. Plus you remind me of one of the nicest ladies at church.
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
I do not chew gum. Hate it. Hate seeing it, hearing it, and smelling it. I told my daughter she could chew gum as long as I do not see, hear or smell it. She’s good!
My husband will not allow gum in our house; he’s not opposed to breath mints, though. I used to chew gum, but discreetly and only long enough to mask strong lunch odors when I couldn’t brush my teeth. Now I’m on the mint bandwagon for breath freshening while on the go.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren