I love car trips with my son. He’s 17 years old, so we don’t spend as much time together in the car as we did during the prime school and soccer shuttling days of yore, so a road trip is a rare chance to catch up. We visited family last weekend and chatted on the long highway drive home.
Him: It’s so funny to hear people call you “Debbie.” Why don’t you tell them to call you “Deb” like everyone else does?
Me: I’ve tried, but I give up. Aunt Garnet in particular is sticking firm. I couldn’t even get her to spell “Debbie” right. In the 70s and 80s she sent me a Christmas ornament every year with my name engraved on it, misspelled “D-E-B-B-Y.” She’s not going to back down and negate her investment in fake gold plating.
Him: I like “Deb” better. It’s more “you.” Did you change it because of “Debbie Downer?”
Me: Ha, no.
Him: You wanted to fit in with all the other lesbians, right? The short hair-short name thing?
Me: You are too wise, Grasshopper. Sort of, yeah, I mean “Debbie” sounds like of “Barbie-ish,” you know? And then there is what we Debbies refer to as “The Dallas Problem.”
Him: What’s that?
Me: “Debbie Does Dallas.”
Him: What’s “Debbie Does Dallas?”
+++
[Crickets.]
[Pause.]
[Throat clearing.]
+++
Me: “Well, it’s a famous porno. From way back. A lot of people know about it. So every week, you’d meet someone and they’d say “Oh, so you’re from Dallas” or something stupid like that.
Him: Oh, “does” like she “does” the whole town. Okay, gross.
Me: I think it’s a football team or something.
Him: Okay, mom, new topic.
We quickly began playing the license game as a diversion, which worked great. When a truck from Texas passed us, neither of us called it. Some things are better left unsaid.
"Debbie Does Dallas" was released in 1978 and the name "Deborah" never peaked again.
About Deb Rox
Deb, Debbie or Deborah, I adore you. Saw you read at Listen to Your Mother and now a flow chart?? Come on. With your awesomeness.
Sigh.
Maybe next lifetime?
I get to be you?
I’ll even take the name, cuz it’s worth it.
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
I never put that together, but I think you are right.
(looking up my name now)
Twitter Name: goonsquadsarah
Oh Deb, I feel your pain. As a Debbie in high school in the late 70′s, I quickly became “Deborah” in college because for me, Debbie was too cutesy, too common, and too porn. But that’s just me; other readers, your mileage may differ. Did you know that there is a Deborah mentioned in the bible and in Jewish literature who was a major, influential prophet? Yeah, neither did I, probably because I haven’t read much religious lit. She was wise, respected, and just all-around awesome. I wish she were on a coin or something. Then maybe being a Deb-Debbie-Deborah would be “in” and all the cool kids would envy us. Oh wait, it’s not 1978 anymore…
I was Angie all through my formative years, but matured into Angela after I divorced. My family still does the Angie thing, though. I HATE it when people I casually know through work try to Angie me, implying we are close enough for that when we are definitely not.
Hahahaha…I look forward to the day I can speak so frankly with my kids
Twitter Name: Izzymom