Plural’s Don’t Have Apostrophe’s, Idiot’s

October 17, 2011
by • 50 Comments

You would think with all the fancy universitie’s out there and all the people that are graduate’s of them that more of these educated people would know the difference between plural’s and possessive’s, and when they are and aren’t supposed to use apostrophe’s.

I mean, were they not taught this stuff as kid’s in their grade school’s and high school’s?

I worry more about future generation’s of kid’s though, with all their computer’s and video game’s and sport’s distracting them from learning the basic rule’s of grammar. If they’d pay just a little more attention in their writing classe’s they’d grow up to be adult’s that knew that you aren’t supposed to put apostrophe’s on word’s just because they end in esse’s.

Apostrophe’s are misused at alarming rate’s. How many time’s have you seen people sign their family name with an apostrophe at the end? It look’s something like this: “The Wilson’s are bringing drink’s to the potluck.” The Wilson’s? The Wilsons’ what? The Wilson’s what are bringing drink’s to the potluck? What thing that the Wilson’s possess are the Wilson’s bringing to the potluck? Why Mrs. Wilson feel’s the need to add an apostrophe to her name is beyond me.

Just a couple day’s ago, I received a thank you card from a wedding I had attended. It had fancy decoration’s and design’s that clearly demonstrated that the card cost a lot of money. The card’s were sealed with sticker’s with the couples name on it. It read, “Thank you. Love, the Mandrake’s”.

Are you kidding me? With the hundred’s of dollar’s that you spent on your fancy thank you card’s you aren’t able to see that your name isn’t possessing anything? What of the Mandrake’s exactly is thanking us? Is it one of their dog’s? Their parent’s? Their great uncle Nel’s?

I really don’t see what is so confusing. Plural’s are just two or more thing’s. There are two dog’s peeing on my lawn. Five sorority girl’s are talking on their cell phone’s. Ten white guy’s are wearing FUBU jacket’s.

Those word’s don’t need apostrophe’s, people. They aren’t possessing anything. Perhaps if more person’s had bigger brain’s, there would need to be fewer grammar police officer’s.

Filed Under: Know Yourself Tagged With: , , , ,
About Jared Karol

Jared loves irreverence, sarcasm, making fun of stuff, making shit up, his toddler twins, his wife, Newcastle beer, Tanqueray gin, watching soccer, unorthodoxy, existentialism, San Francisco, poo jokes, the f word, and a bunch of other things, not necessarily in that order, but sometimes in that order. He doesn't like "leak proof" sippy cups that leave pools of milk on the table. That really pisses him off. He writes at Lick the Fridge and other places.

Comments

  1. Dara says:
    October 17, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    I think I love you.
    Or as they say’s around these part’s: I think I love’s you.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  2. Unknown Mami says:
    October 17, 2011 at 11:53 pm

    I think you just made my eyeball’s explode. Aghh! It’s contagious!!!

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  3. Rick Bucich says:
    October 18, 2011 at 12:00 am

    Pluralize my last name, I dare you!
    Okay, I’m impatient so I’ll help you out. How the The Buciches grab you? Looks awful huh, yup but it’s correct. Hence why we go by the Bucich Family.

    The apostrophe thing is completely out of control, especially in last names. By my house is Miller’s Cleaners, really? It’s possible but I’m skeptical.

    And when it was popular to carve you last name in wood and hang in on your home, tho-thirds of those are incorrect and have been for 20 years. How embarrassing, advertising grammatical ignorance on the outside of your house.

    Right there with ya

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
    • Jared Karol says:
      October 18, 2011 at 2:07 pm

      Thanks’, Rick, for your comments’, and for not making me try to pluralize your last name. Some people like to advertise their ignorance all over the place, and perhaps’ they feel like excluding grammatical ignorance just wouldnt be fair. . .

      Twitter Name:

      Reply
    • Liz says:
      November 17, 2011 at 1:07 am

      “Miller’s Cleaners” is actually correct… unless it’s supposed to be “The Millers’ Cleaners.” In which case, I shut up now.

      Twitter Name:

      Reply
  4. Carrie says:
    October 18, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Brilliant. Bravo.

    Tons of clapping here.

    Tons.

    Or is it ton’s?

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  5. Nicole DeZarn says:
    October 18, 2011 at 8:52 am

    Genius!!!! I will be sharing this with others as a wonderful follow up to my bitchy rantings about aw versus awe, your versus you’re, and-God forbid!-Pacific versus specificXoP

    Reply
  6. Flower Patch Farmgirl says:
    October 18, 2011 at 9:12 am

    I just stumbled on this in the weirdest way but this post made my ever-loving day.

    Reply
  7. erin margolin says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:10 am

    YOU JUST TOTALLY MADE MY DAY WITH THIS POST.

    LOVE IT.

    you go on w/ your bad self.
    i’m gonna share this with all my friend’s and my parent’s, too!
    ;-)

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  8. Angie Kinghorn says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:18 am

    Love you, love the post, will be passing it along in hopes it will work as a public service announcement.

    Bravo!!!

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  9. JW Moxie says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:32 am

    “Ten white guy’s are wearing FUBU jacket’s.” HOOOOLEEEE SHIIIIT that was hilarious. I love you for writing that.

    I am going to print this out, make copies of it, and use it as a lesson with my 8th graders. FOR REAL.

    Please also write a post about they’re/their/there. Like this mistake right they’re < –, there to far behind see that their getting it all wrong. I mean really? Its’ simple to use apostrophe’s.

    At first I was going to only say that this was funny, and than I decided that this is brilliant – better then sex (thats’ a lie). But close. :)

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
    • Jared Karol says:
      October 18, 2011 at 3:41 pm

      When I lived in the central valley of California back in the late 1990s we all had all kinds of tools wearing FUBU jackets – perhaps they didn’t know it was an acronym? Hmmm?

      Yes, this is definitely worthy material for eighth graders’ = I know because I used to teach sixth graders’ and what I taught them apparently didn’t sink in by the time they got to eighth grade – or adulthood, for that matter. . .

      Twitter Name:

      Reply
  10. Her from @6degreeslove says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:39 am

    Hurts my brain and makes me giggle uncontrolably.
    I spelled uncontrolably wrong. Let’s do a spelling post next, mkay?

    Reply
  11. Megan says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:48 am

    People are putting apostrophe’s in their last names now? Oh the humanity. That poor apostrophe. It never get’s a break.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  12. julie gardner says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:58 am

    This English teacher thanks you.
    Very much.

    p.s. Those white guy’s in the FUBU jacket’s have bigger problem’s than apostrophe-placement.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
    • Jared Karol says:
      October 18, 2011 at 3:48 pm

      Thought this resonate with English teachers’. Used to be one myself (sixth grade) — could almost tolerate it with the students’, but their parents’? Come one, now!

      And, yes, white guy’s in FUBU jackets’ is a much bigger problem!

      Twitter Name:

      Reply
  13. Jamie says:
    October 18, 2011 at 11:31 am

    If it’s at the Smith’s though it would have an apostrophe, yes? Since it’s the Smith’s house, even though it doesn’t say that? ??

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  14. Jennifer says:
    October 18, 2011 at 11:39 am

    One question, how hard was it to type this?

    Reply
  15. Mamacita says:
    October 18, 2011 at 11:59 am

    I love you.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  16. Tracy says:
    October 18, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Yeah, you had me at “10 white guy’s wearing FUBU jacket’s.”. Love.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  17. Jared Karol says:
    October 18, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Maybe its the makers’ of FUBU jackets fault for not making it clear what FUBU stood for. . . some things’ need to be spelled out, I guess. . .

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  18. MamaKaren says:
    October 18, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    Wonderful post. May I pile on and complain about the use of quotation marks to indicate emphasis? This is, in my opinion, a crime against punctuation.

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  19. tonya says:
    October 18, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    You’ve made my day! :)

    Reply
  20. Mrs B @ crankymonkeys in london says:
    October 20, 2011 at 4:39 am

    Thank you for writing this. I would have written this a long time ago, but English is not my first language so I find that if I start correcting English grammar people get annoyed :)

    Reply
  21. Jayme (RandomBlogette) says:
    October 20, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    This is freaking hilarious. This is so perfect. The worst part is when businesse’s do it. Don’t you have someone to spell check your work?? Geez!

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  22. Riley says:
    October 20, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    Did you ‘somehow mi’s's the memo that announced that an apo’strophe now mean’s OMG HERE COME’S AN ‘S! ‘see? It’s a ‘seriou’s warning!

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  23. Liz says:
    November 17, 2011 at 1:07 am

    What’s sad is, the designer they paid hundreds of dollars to create the cards made that mistake.

    Also, after reading this, I had to un-boggle my brain so that I could properly use apostrophes, you scoundrel, you. ;)

    Twitter Name:

    Reply
  24. dydaymet says:
    January 23, 2012 at 7:27 am

    buy Chanel Coco Cocoon at my estore to take huge discount

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 8 Grammar Rules You Should’ve Learned Long Before High School Graduation | Aiming Low says:
    November 16, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    [...] Jared Karol wrote a kick-ass article for Aiming Low entitled Plural’s Don’t Have Apostrophe’s,Idiot’s. That piece really resonated with me and inspired me to write this. P.S. Jared, don’t let this [...]

    Reply

Speak Your Mind

*


Display your Twitter name by adding it here. No @ required.