I have a pet project, an issue you might say, that might be considered unexpected for a blonde-haired white woman.
I try to convince all of my black friends to wear their hair natural.
I don’t necessarily mean “roll out of bed” natural, but I adore curly or kinky or however their hair grows out of their head. If it were up to me, relaxers would be off the market completely. To be fair, I wish white women and girls would stop fighting their natural hair texture, too. It’s not a race issue for me, but rather a feminist one.
It seems to me that there is a lot of pressure on females of all ages to have smooth, straight, shiny hair. Whether brown, black, or blonde, we’re told that high sheen is the goal and the best version of beauty.
I hate that. I hate the notion that how we were made is intrinsically wrong or less pretty than how another person was made. I hate the expensive struggle we’re encouraged to engage in, a war against ourselves, against our very natures.
My name is Britt and I have curly hair. And I love my curls. I’ve learned to embrace them and celebrate them and take care of them, and my hair looks a thousand times better than it ever did when I was blow drying and straightening every morning.
Now I have a daughter with thin and straight hair. I have no clue how to manage it, but I’m committed to figuring it out. I will not encourage her to get a perm or make her hair more like mine, but rather to learn to love what she was given. Granted, I have no idea yet exactly how I’ll do that because I’m still learning how to keep it tangle free for more than 15 minutes, but I will learn so that she can learn to champion her own version of beautiful.
Do you embrace your hair’s natural texture? Do you think it’s important to work what your mama (or creator) gave you?
About Britt Reints
Great post! I have fabulous curls that I didn’t learn to love until college because of the stereotype within my own family about kinky hair.
I stopped relaxing it and, although my hair dresser will straighten it with a hot comb, I love wearing it curly. Unfortunately, too much of the curly hair days would mean cutting the long tresses as my hair is fine (who knew the curls were harder to maintain?).
My daughter is almost 2 and I tell her that her hair is beautiful and that her curls are perfect. As she gets older, I’ll wear my own hair curly more often even if I have to sacrifice the length so that she can see that it’s okay and beautiful!
Twitter Name: MyMamihood
I’ve never heard of curly hair leading to a cut. That’s interesting – my mom has fine, curly hair also.
Twitter Name: missbritt
Well it gets really tangled and if I’m not on it with products to keep it hydrated and making sure the hair isn’t breaking then, it looks yucky and I’d have to cut it.
I tempted the fates before while my hair dresser was on maternity leave. I think I needed 2 inches cut. Now that might not sound like much but my ethnic hair doesn’t grow as fast so, I have to be careful with it.
Twitter Name: MyMamihood
I embrace my waves/curls/assorted cow licks. Besides, the wider the hair, the thinner the face looks in comparison, right?
It’s like shoulder pads, FOR YOUR HEAD.
Twitter Name: highlyirritable
EXACTLY! hahahahha
Twitter Name: missbritt
i embrace my curls. mostly because i am too lazy to fuck with it. and because i do so love natural beauty. also, a bunch of what highlyirritable said!
Twitter Name: hellohahanarf
I love that you love natural beauty. :-)
Twitter Name: missbritt
Obviously. :)
Twitter Name: Whatsananna
This is one I struggle with–my hair is naturally wavy/frizzy. I haven’t found a good way to style it in it’s natural state, other than pulling it back. But with flat ironing (as a teenager I curled it), it’s manageable and I feel more put together. Should we ever have a girl, I shall encourage her to keep her hair natural. If the hair of this hypothetical girl-child is anything like our son’s, she’ll have the most gorgeous curls ever.
It comes down to what makes you feel beautiful, I suppose.
Twitter Name: missbritt
My hair has almost always been wash and wear. The only thing I do is put it up with a hair clip while it dries. Mostly because I’m too lazy to bother with curling irons and the like. LOL
I say to each their own, but I question the sanity of those who get the Brazilian Blowout. Who really thinks it’s a good idea to put formaldehyde in your hair. Yikes!
Twitter Name: zengrrl
I’ve been fighting my hair since birth.
Britt: your curls are awesome. If mine would do that without loads of product + diffusing (= just as much time to straighten) I would go there. But they don’t. I’m just a natural wavy haired gal that prefers straight or curly – not the in between.
My twin recently embraced her curls and does the diffusing + product and it looks magnificent. I’m tempted to start myself but then, how would anyone tell us apart? =P
Twitter Name: Rachel Jonat
I use product and a diffuser! But it only takes about five minutes for the whole routine. SO much easier to flip my head upside down and point a diffuser at it than to go strand by strand with the straightening iron, only to have hair that doesn’t want to STAY straight anyway!
Twitter Name: missbritt
I don’t have curly hair, but I can’t be arsed to do anything with it other than flip my head upside down and dry it, so I spend my money on a good haircut and the right product for what I want it to do.
Twitter Name: msmegan
In the last couple of years I’ve given up blowing my hair straight and I’m doing the curly (ish) thing. It’s so much easier :)
I love your hair. All last week I left my hair naturally curly and I loved it. I do like my hair when it’s straightened, though, or with a bit of a wave, but last week, it was a good curly hair week. I got a lot of compliments, and I was like, “Really???”
My hair is mostly straight with some weird waves so often I’ll let it hang freely but if I want to glam it up I will take the 35 minutes required to curl it. It’s worth it to me, and that’s when you know I’m getting dressed up for something ;)
Twitter Name: lovenursing
As I’ve gotten older my hair had gotten curlier, which is ironic considering the amount of time I spent in my youth trying to get my board straight hair to curl. Now it takes over an hour to straighten, so like you I’ve embraced my curls. Ten minutes with a diffuser and hair product and I’m good to go.
Don’t even try to get me to embrace my natural color, however. I’m not even sure what it is anymore! ;-)
You know very good and well that I don’t embrace my natural curls. I try. But I just can’t get them right. :(
Twitter Name: FireMom
I have very very thick hair. It is straight but it more or less does nothing. Its to heavy to hold a style. My face is to chunky to chop it all off LOL. I go natural though, pull it back in a pony tail day after day wishing there was more I could do with this horse mane lol.
Twitter Name: rose3694
Have you ever gone to a really good stylist or scoped out photos of celebrities with similar hair texture?
Twitter Name: missbritt
I love this! I have super thick, crazy curly hair and I hated it for so many years. I tried everything to “fix” it. I think around 4 years ago I just decided to “Embrace The Hair” and I love it. I found a new hairdresser who has hair like mine and totally gets it, I think that’s half the battle sometimes. No matter how I feel going into her salon I come out feeling better about myself.
Twitter Name: christine_9774
I have loved and hated my hair through the ages : depending on what’s in style.
When curly was in, in the 70′s, I loved my hair. But when people were rockin the straight look, I almost snatched myself bald headed with the stupid flat iron.
Now, as I see my friends with thinning hair, I am so glad I have this big poofball on my head.
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
Love your curls—and you are totally right. My daughter is almost 6 and has thin hair that tends to be wavy and she complains bitterly and has cried about it before. I’ve offered to use “magic stuff” (moroccan oil) and my Chi on it, and we sometimes do, and it makes her happy. I don’t know what the right thing to do is….
Twitter Name: erinmargolin
Great article! My beautiful mixed-race daughter doesn’t like her curly hair(small corkscrew curls with fine texture) one bit, even though she gets compliments constantly.
I struggle with keeping it tangle free and looking good, all the while telling her it’s good to be different. She doesn’t believe me, yet.
A great brush for fine tangled hair is the Tangle Teezer. Friends of ours with straight haired kids swear by it.
Twitter Name: jhollywoodd
If left to its own devices, my hair is sort of wavy. Unless I want some waves, then it will just hang straight in my eyes and around my face. It’s fine, but super thick, so it’s never really sleek while straight- more like flat against the top of my head and full around my shoulders. After all, who doesn’t love to have a triangular head?
I fried my hair for years doing perms and curling irons. I’ve finally decided to go with “layered style, round brush while drying, and hope for the best.”
Twitter Name: MamaKaren
Oh, and I recommend the Knot Genie brush for fine, easily tangled hair. It works wonders for my daughter.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren