I went years without having cable. And it was totally fine.
Last month, we moved into a new building with “amenities.” It’s very much like living in a hotel with a housekeeping staff that’s on strike. One of these amenities is an upgraded cable package.
I was actually more worried about the HBO. I love uninterrupted television viewing. I once told my very best friend that the reason I stopped watching cable television was that I was tired of being manipulated by the consumerist agenda propagated by commercials.
No, dudes, I don’t talk like that in real life.
What I said was “I don’t like television because it has too many commercials.”
To which my friend replied, “You mean you love television so much, you refuse to be interrupted by commercials.”
My friend is a jerk. But observant.
Anyway, having cable hasn’t changed our lives much.
WITH ONE HUGE EXCEPTION.
FREAKING.HGTV.OMYGOODNESS.
Am I aware that there is not one intellectually challenging thing about this station?
Yes.
The programming on this show will not make me a better person, not encourage me to think any differently, and, let’s be honest, in terms of entertainment it’s not quite average.
Furthermore, my friends, I suspect that watching HGTV, aside from the obvious fact that I live in a high rise, would not have helped me improve my home or garden. Most likely, it would have given the primal portions of my brain subtle signals that would have fooled neurons into thinking I’d actually been engaging in some sort of homing and gardening when in fact all I was doing was sitting on the sofa watching shows about it.
After the kids have gone to bed and the day’s work is over, my husband and I sneak towards the couch. Our eyes shamefully averted from one another, we go to channel 47.
This once noble couple who would bask in the self righteousness of evening book reading on two maybe even three nights in a row is now zombified in front of the television every night, maybe even twice on the weekends, watching some guy spray paint a pale shade of grey or purple on a 300 year old mahogany table that was one used by Franklin Roosevelt just so they can update an Ohio couple’s bar room to look more “cosmopolitan.”
Basically, there’s two shows on HGTV.
1. “Seriously, is that ALL the house you can get for $2 million dollars? It’s freaking Guadalajara, not New York City.”
2. “HOLY WOW, LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO THAT ROOM, IT’S UHMAAAZING.”
And, Lord help me, I can’t quit either of them.
About Faiqa Khan
Ha! I totally get this. I became addicted while on maternity leave. I mean, what’s better than House Hunters International when you’re feeding an infant at 2am? NOTHING. But I quit cold turkey a few years ago. Painful, I tell you. Just painful.
That’s a very good point about potentially feeling like you’ve done something home and garden-y when you’ve really just been watching TV. I have a feeling that pretty much sums up the appeal for me.
Twitter Name: cannibal_nerd
Babe, it’s all I watch. And I get to watch about once a week. But! House hunters! My fave. Shoulda picked number two, idiots. Anyway, where was I? Yes. Guilty pleasure. Not intellectually stimulating. But sometimes ya need good, brainless fun, yes?
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
I actually like HGTV because of the lack of sex, lack of language and general child safety. (Yes, things are bleeped.) But my kids pretend to build things if I have it on — though I have to limit my consumption to Saturdays only. Or I won’t do anything else. heh
Twitter Name: FireMom
Just to make it a little worse – Property Brothers. If you haven’t gone there yet, you absolutely need to. It’s educational.
Maybe.
Twitter Name: JWMoxie
I just saw an ad for that. Looks promising!
Twitter Name: Izzymom
We just got cable a month ago. I need Food TV rehab!!!
Twitter Name: BoonieSooze
Oh Faiqa! Did you know I was on HGTV last week? My family was on the premier of “Kitchen Cousins”–did you see it? Or were you reading War and Peace that night?
When we had cable all I cared about was mainly HGTV and the cartoon networks such as Disney for my son. It’s just entertainment. Don’t take it so seriously. It’s all about making things look pretty.
Twitter Name: Ediththesimpleessentials
Oh I feel your pain.
there may be a 12 step program for us out there.
The food shows.
The home decorating shows.
The real estate shows.
The DIY shows.
What in the world is wrong with me??????
Can’t I just be satisfied with twitter, like everyone else?
Twitter Name: gdrpempress
I was completely addicted to House Hunters this summer. Or Mitch was. I watched with him when I was too tired to think (which happened a lot more than I care to admit). And the design shows? I tell myself I am doing research for the design articles I write. And yes, I do write some, but not as much as all that watching would have you think.
HGTV is the devil.
Twitter Name: msmegan
Oh, I know … HGTV sucks me in like a vortex. I turn it on Saturday morning, thinking I’ll just watch for a little until my husband wakes up … and the next thing I know, it’s dinner time and I’ve wasted the entire day watching whatever marathon they’re running that weekend. My husband loves it too, so we get sucked in together.
At least for us, it’s a little educational; we’re planning on buying a house in the next couple years and, because we actively discuss each show we watch, HGTV has helped us identify what we both like and dislike in terms of home shopping, and now we know what to expect.
Twitter Name: escameron
House Hunters makes me crazy. The people always say things like “I’m not sure about this paint” or “This carpet won’t go with our stuff” and that’s when I start bitching at the TV and saying things like “You can re-paint!!!!! Are you really going to pass on this awesome place because you don’t like the paint? Are you REALLY THAT DUMB???”
Twitter Name: Izzymom
My husband and I had an HGTV mini-marathon just yesterday! We saw House Hunters, Love It or List It, and some other show with multi-million dollar houses. I understand what you all mean! Once you start, it’s impossible to stop. Almost as bad as those cheesy Lifetime movies. I’ve had marathons with those too, not actually intending to watch them all day.
Twitter Name: RealWaystoEarn