By way of a friendly introduction let’s talk about the penis.
Because, you see, I have a few concerns.
My three year old, Tom, has newly discovered that he has one. This discovery coincided very traditionally with the move from nappies to proper underpants. Suddenly his nether regions, heretofore nappy-locked and inaccessible, were suddenly opened to him like a virgin country, unexplored and inexplicably enticing.
Since that happy inauguration of self discovery he’s pretty much kept a hand in every day. It doesn’t matter whether he’s eating breakfast, playing on the Mobigo or watching TV. A wandering hand will find its unerring way down to his (as we call it here) willy.
It’s like he’s become obsessed. He’s fascinated by the way it changes state. Sometimes though he gets annoyed with it. Like when he’s on the potty and busting for a wee.
“Mummy, daddy, it’s pointing wrong.” He says.
“Yes, darling.” We reply. “If you leave it alone for five minutes you’ll find it goes down again all by itself.”
“Oh.” He says. And then he stares down at it waiting for the inevitable lowering of the flag.
Now I can remember being Tom’s age and feeling that self same sense of annoyance in much the same situation. What I don’t remember though is playing with my little friend to the same degree that Tom does.
It’s pretty much on the hour every hour. Is that normal?
My wife and I are trying not to go overboard in our reactions. We don’t want to give him a complex or think that that there is anything wrong with what he’s doing. It’s all perfectly natural after all. But at the same time we don’t want him to grow up thinking that it’s perfectly fine to haul his undercarriage out in polite company / on the bus / at playschool or when daddy happens to meet his boss in town and stops for a quick chat.
What is the best way of handling it (the situation, I mean)?
At the moment the wife and I merely chortle lightly and say “Oh, Tom, put it away! Leave it alone!” We make a joke out of it. No big thing (the situation, I mean).
But given the regularity of his front-bottom forays I can’t help thinking that when he grows up he’s going to be a very randy little soldier indeed.
And I can’t help feeling a tiny bit of paternal pride at that thought.
Is that a male thing, do you think?
The situation, I mean…
Ahem.
About Stephen Herrick-Blake
yep. they love a hard on. Mine got all into his balls. I wrote a post about it when he was 2 1/2 called Master Bater. He’s 4 now, still goin strong.
Twitter Name: Sickerthnothers
Still going strong? Guess it’s all in the hormones…
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I have three boys, now 11, 9 and 7, and none of them fiddle with their bits in polite company anymore!
When we noticed them playing their fiddle, we’d say “you need to go do that in the bathroom or the bedroom” and if they asked why, we reminded them that everything that is covered by underoos was private.
One time, at dinner, my son was more interested in fiddling with his man bits than eating his dinner and we reminded him that that was to be done in his room or the bathroom – he actually got up, left the table and came back a few minutes later – we STILL laugh about that!
It’s all a question of priorities for us blokes…!
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I only have girls, so I have no answer for you but may a recommend a tiny harness for his wee willy:)
Poor little guy, it’s probably like us girls when we developed our breasts..all we wanted to do was show those suckers off to everyone.Tight tiny shirts, right in people’s faces. Look at me!!!LOL
Im sure your little guy will be fine. BUt then again, this does explain men’s fascination with sitting with their hands down their pants touching their junk. I stand corrected, he will never outgrow it. You can only teach him to keep the touching to a minimum when out in public. LOL
Twitter Name: Truthfulmommy
I fear you are right. A man’s relationship with his junk is eternal and sacred and not even polyester can prevent it. Maybe we just need to teach him how to play with his little friend appropriately?
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Yep, that’s a hard one to deal with (pun very intended). I do wonder, if its a comforting thing or maybe “its there, it hanging – why not hold onto it?”
I think it starts off as a “What the hell is this? Why does it have a mind of its own?” and then graduates to a “Hey, this thing loves a bit of intraction – and so do I – we need to have a conversation more often!”
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Something to make his old dad proud, eh?
Twitter Name: notefromlapland
Like son, like father.
Just ask the local police.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
My 5 year old is constantly fiddling, grappling and adjusting his meat and two veg. I’m beginning to wonder if he isn’t the reincarnation of Michael Jackson, if starts saying Shamone I’ll know for sure!
Twitter Name: vbincatalunya
Whatever you do, don’t buy a pet rat and name it “Ben”.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
My son is now a teenager and no doubt still fiddling but I can still remember my horror the first time I discovered that a little boy’s man thing can go hard. I was straight on the phone to my mother sobbing about precocious sexuality or whatever it is. As the mother of 2 sons, she put me right. He spent much of his first year out of nappies in penile exploration but then did give it up between the age of 4 and puberty. Keep the faith!
Twitter Name: MelRiverCottage
I figure he’ll soon be distracted by the PlayStation and Lego. It usually works for me.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
great story!!!!
And every word of it true!
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I think you should invest in some toys, Steve. Give the poor little mite something else to play with ;-)
Twitter Name: mumsgoneto
He’s got the washing machine to play with! What else could a kid want? ;-)
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Are there you are. hat’s it like hanging out with a different bunch of dudes?
I remember being overly attached to my dick as a child. My mother spent much her time knocking my hand away. It was my version of a security blanket: I didn’t go as far as sucking it.
I had an electric blanket as a child. I’m glad you didn’t decide to plug yours in.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
‘It’s pointing wrong’ – laugh out loud funny
(and you already beat me to like father like son).
As he gets older he will come to realize that, unolike a signpost, his little friend can never actually point wrong.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
First post here and you talk about penises. Typical. When The Boy was born I had completely forgotten they (we) get erections…much hilarity followed, especially when he tried to wee with it and aimed high. Very high.
Thought I’d start as I mean to go on… and give my son just cause to disown me later in life.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I’d like to offer a suggestion but I only have a girl and, anyway, I think you’ve got it all covered.
Tom, on the other hand…
Yep, Tom just let’s it all hang out… just blowing in the breeze. Any which way but loose.
You get the picture.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
The way things are going in police state U.K. this article has probably been tracked and a note put on your son’s dossier…..
Twitter Name: doris ward
Either that or he’ll be fast-tracked for a career in politics.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
My 7 yr old is still at it. And he didn’t wait to get out of “nappies” either. He dug right in there. Persistent little bugger.
The 3 yo, however has little interest. Or had. Until his brother showed him something in the tub.
Truthfully, having a little sir wanks-a-lot as my first, I thought the younger boy was the one with the problem.
Twitter Name: ReadilyAParent
You’re right. I think I’d be more worried if he was looking at it and bursting into tears.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
You know full well that he’ll never grow out of it. Just like the rest of us, he’ll be in thrall to it for the rest of his life.
Like father, like son?
A little omnipresent god forever at his disposal…
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Like some of the previous posters, we have a rule about doing private things in the bathroom or bedroom. And hand washing after.
Twitter Name: thepsychobabble
Handwashing is a most excellent – and surprisingly – overlooked rule.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
My boys both had a full onobsession with their own weiners around 3ish. But then again, my husband is 35 and well…he’s not too different. Heh.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
It’s something that a man never grows out of. That and toy trains.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Wouldn’t men of all do the same if they could get away with it?!
(Good to see you here)
What do you mean, “if”?
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Steve……such a long time ago for me to remember what my son got up to…but it all seems to be about right…..and most men don’t ‘play in public’ do they!!
Well, most of the time I try not to…
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I think the whole jaggling keys and coins in the pocket thing by men is the only move most of them have made away from public willy woggling. Imagine if women did the same thing..actually best if you don’t…Steve, Steve come back to reality, you’ve got a strange look on your face!
Willy woggling? You make it sound like a Boy Scout activity.
Well. I’m sure it is a Boy Scout activity. As honoured as Bob-a-Job and erecting a tent. Especially the latter.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
One must wonder, as in the same way the famous question about which came first, the chicken or the egg, makes us wonder about certain evolutionary mysteries, as to why the human hand, that marvellously manipulative tool, was placed at the end of our arms, at the perfect length and position for easily reaching and holding onto or delving into our sexual organs… Yes, ana-tom-ical mysteries are a marvellous aspect of life.
Seems like we are pre-programmed to take pleasure in playing with ourselves, or with whoever is close at hand; and then we taught not to… no wonder so many people go absolutely bonkers…
Wonderful to see you have a paying gig, I hope you will fly far and high with it… a find weekend to you !
It may be that, like the T-rex, our arms used to be a lot shorter but continued evolutionary effort to get them to reach that magical spot caused nature to elongate and redesign them. It may be that man’s best friend is what helped develop us a species into the marvellous feat of biological engineering that we are today.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
Totally normal..assuming MY kid is normal :)
Twitter Name: Izzymom
I’m going to assume so. Mostly for the sake of my own peace of mind.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
No idea what you should do now, but at his 21st I think you should pull out this article and show him (and his girlfriend) what you published when he was 3.
Twitter Name: wanderlust_lust
Already ahead of you. I’ve got photos and video footage to go with it. As a caring father it is the least I could do.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
See, I have only have girls too – a couple of stepsons, but they had ‘done all that’ by the time I came along…no idea. Maybe ride it out (so to speak) and wear a disguise when you go out. :-)
Or just handover all outdoor ‘public and civic’ duties to his mother?
Twitter Name: pocketropolis
I remember it well – my boys going through same stage, I mean.
It calmed down eventually and ten then they became teenagers – which is a whole different ‘ball game’.
Ah. There’s nothing like being biologically correct is there? It takes real testes to do that.
Twitter Name: pocketropolis