6:15 a.m. Wake up to “Mommy? Mommmmmmy?” Put pillow over head. Prepare to play “Who Can Pretend to be Asleep the Longest?” with spouse.
6:30 a.m. Wake again to “Mommy!!!! You come get me riiight nowww!!” (In stereo.) Spouse kicks ass at this game.
7:00 a.m. Kids beg for pancakes. Make pancakes. Two-year old gets pancake batter on the table, the floor, his hair, and in the VCR (yes, we still have a VCR. We’re retro). Kids refuse to eat pancakes.
7:30 a.m. Two-year old drags kitchen stool over to microwave. Attempts to microwave brother’s fire truck. Four-year retaliates by driving fire truck over his brother’s and, inexplicably, my toes. We all cry.
8:00 a.m. Watch Bob the Builder and eat marshmallows. Breakfast accomplished.
8:30 a.m. How is it possible that it’s only 8:30? Try to convince kids they are ready for an early nap. Fail. Do 18 loads of laundry.
10:00 a.m. Construct six-foot rocket ship out of nothing but cardboard and tinfoil.
10:30 a.m. Conduct brief, heated argument with four-year old about wing placement on rocket-ship, until I remember he is four. And it is his rocket-ship. And it’s made out of tin-foil.
12:00 p.m. Lunch. Two-year old eats a grilled cheese sandwich and eight pieces of watermelon. Four-year old eats a cheez-it.
12:30 p.m. Naptime. ‘Naptime’ is a term that loosely translates as 45 minutes of listening to “Mommy, I’m awake, mommy I’m awake, mommy come get me, mommy I’m awake,” sung to the tune of Farmer in the Dell.
2:30 p.m. Decide to paint rocket-ship. Collect smocks, drop cloth, paints, bowls, brushes, water, paper, wipes, and extra-strength Tylenol.
2:45 p.m. Comfort two-year old who doesn’t like paint on his hands, but loves putting his hands in paint.
3:30 p.m. Wipe floor that is covered in paint despite the drop-cloth, strip off children’s clothes covered in paint despite the smocks. Do 12 more loads of laundry.
3:45 p.m. Run bath. Four-year old refuses to get in bath.
4:00 p.m. Four-year old refuses to get out of bath.
4:30 p.m. Attempt to go to park. Spend half an hour looking for keys. Abandon search for keys. Watch Bob the Builder and eat more marshmallows.
6:00 p.m. Cook dinner. Find keys in microwave. Two-year old eats entire pot of mac and cheese. Four-year old eats a grape.
7:00 p.m. Wrestle kids into pajamas, attempt to brush teeth in little mouths that are somehow simultaneously clamped shut and yet still screaming grievously. Read forty-four books. Sing thirty-seven songs.
8:00 p.m. Quietly close bedroom doors. Exhale.
8:15 pm. Collect starving four-year old from bedroom. Make him waffles.
9:00 p.m. Reflect on the nature of child-rearing, and how it has made me a wiser, stronger…just kidding. Drink extra large glass of wine and go to bed.
Photo Credit: By Catnipstudio
About Peryl Manning
The large glass of wine.
Most vivid and imploring …
Twitter Name: ByWordsMusings
And we have the largest wine glasses around. You can get half a bottle into one of these suckers.
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
I remember those days. Mine are teens now and while I do wish they were not so grown up and “wise”, they sure were little ball and chains back in the day!
That’s the thing – no matter how gorgeously adorable and sweet they can be, they are with you 24 hrs a day. Imagine if you had to spend that much time with your spouse!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Love it! Perfect.
Twitter Name: Tropic_of_Mom
Thank you!!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
This was great! My niece has a similar reaction to beach sand on her hands as your son does to paint.
Twitter Name: cannibal_nerd
Totally illogical little creatures!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Hahaha, I remember those days. My kids are grown and now they are getting paybacks. I love it!
The problem is that my mom had just one perfect child – so why am I getting payback ;)?
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Excellent and spot on Peryl! You should write these “in the day of” in various time increments like every 6-12 months! Fun to see how challenges change as kids get older. Great job.
Jannicke, I should so do one for today – during bathtime Alex looked at me and said “You better recognize that I have to pee.” …? where did he get that attitude from?
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
I remember those days well! Ah, but they don’t get any easier! I think dealing with hormonal teenagers are a lot worse!! LOL! Great post as always, Peryl.
Happy weekending!
Oh no!! Don’t scare me!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Not all teens are nightmares :) Mine are MUCH easier as teens then toddlers. Which kills my Mom as she was SO waiting for payback time!
What a comforting thought – thanks Amy!!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
I swear, one day they’ll go to school. Unless you homeschool. Then they will never leave!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Oh no. I know my own limitations!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Oh my gosh, you just wrote my life!
Oh honey. Come on over for a (huge) glass of wine!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Brilliant. And summed up perfectly.
Twitter Name: AnunCommonMom
Thank you Laura!!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Lol! That was almost my exact morning!
Twitter Name: imperfectmomma
Well get through the afternoon and come join Amy and I for a glass of wine!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Are you spying on my home? Cuz this is it!
:) – I think it’s universally applicable!
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
Are you spying on my home? Cuz this is it!
Are you spying on my home? Cuz this is it!
Yup, I’ve been watching you, Stacy! Tx for the great material ;).
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
I love it. My girls exist on the Cheez it diet as well. THis post is so great because it is so true. Hugs my friend.
Twitter Name: Truthfulmommy
I have to admit, Cheez its are pretty darn tasty.
Twitter Name: momadabsurdum
your kids’ll paint for a whole hour?! you’re amazing! ;)
This is fantastic! My kids must be sharing info with yours.
Twitter Name: Ben Hanisko
Yep, that would be my house too. Awesome.
“Who hates paint on his hands, but loves to put his hands in paint”. LOLOLOLOL
Most definitely don’t skip the wine…and here’s one way to make yourself feel absolutely accomplished: http://www.50plusandontherun.com/2011/10/so-much-time-so-little-to-do.html
Keep aiming low!