Fergie's overrated.
My 10-year-old’s new favorite word is overrated. And she’s quick to provide me any number of things that are just that.
School. That’s overrated. As well as homework. That’s overrated, too. I tried to explain that something’s probably not overrated if it’s not rated all that high to begin with. Yet all that garnered from her was a shoulder shrug.
Which I gather means that she thinks logic’s overrated. Oddly, this is exactly why things are overrated to begin with. Flawed logic. Given my daughter’s current preoccupation with things that are overrated, I thought it might be fun to dip my own toe in the it-ain’t-as-great-as-they-say-it-is water by running down a list of 10 entities I find to be overrated.
SO, in no particular order, I offer the following to you:
1. Fergie: When I think of overrated, my mind immediately goes to women I think are overrated in the looks department, likely because I’m shallow. The woman who tops this let-down list is… Fergie. I’m not mad at her, and I’m not here to slam anyone’s looks. I am here to tell you, though, that most men find her hot, but they’re wrong. Because she’s not hot. She has a killer body. She’s an accomplished entertainer. But when it comes to being pretty? She’s overrated.
2. Fantasy Football: I’m as big of a sports dork as it gets. And my favorite sport is football. Even so, this whole fantasy football deal blows me away. Sure, it’s a multi-BILLION dollar industry, but at the end of the day it’s little more than a bunch of ex-jock, frat boys competing in something that feels an awful lot like an athletic version of Dungeon and Dragons.
3. Caillou: Maybe he falls into the classification of things that can’t be overrated because they’re not rated all that high to begin with. I know way more parents who don’t like Caillou than parents who do. Yet, still, he’s been on the air for 13 years, now. To me that means he is highly rated, after all. I just don’t get it. As I’ve said before, he’s a whiny pussy. But my three-year-olds love his bald-ass. Go figure.
4. Glee: Any show that spawns a legion of followers who are simply known as Gleeks is overrated. If for no other reason than that.
5. Ladybugs: Mythology has been kind to ladybugs, suggesting that they’re good luck. But they’re not good luck. They’re beetles, and they’re gross. Have you ever seen them en masse? I have. Disturbing. But the most disturbing thing about ladybugs isn’t their propensity to congregate. It’s something known as ladybug taint. Ew.
6. Notre Dame Football: Every year people think Notre Dame’s gonna be great in football. Every year people are wrong. Like this year — 0-2 (as of the time this post was written) with a chance to drop to 0-3 after their game against Michigan State. So face it, Irish fans, you suck. Nice choke against Michigan. And nice program. Note to gamblers: one gaming theory that works well? Fade Notre Dame. Like every single game. No matter what the number is.
7. Fame: Reality TV has taken an important prerequisite out of the equation for being famous: talent. But, cheesy? That’ll work. Thusly, I present Exhibit A, Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino. Thank you, Your Honor. The prosecution rests.
8. Summer: When I was younger, I loved the summer. But nowadays, all summer means is that my kids are destructive free agents with too much time on their hands. Who have to be driven around everywhere. At all times of the day. OH. Did I mention swim meets? Not a fan. I don’t care if you’re kid’s Michael Phelps. Sitting around for four hours to watch Jr. swim three events for a grand total of two minutes is a shitty return of your investment. And don’t even get me started about the stifling heat summer always brings (at least where I’m from). I’m so glad fall’s here it’s not even funny.
9. Super Bowl Commercials: I remember back in the mid to late 80s when Super Bowl commercials really started to take off. And it was kinda neat for a while. You know, seeing each year’s crop of commercials getting more and more zany and outlandish. Yet now, they’ve turned into caricatures of themselves. I mean, seriously. How much further can they possibly go? I’m not sure which is more annoying — them or the people who insist on assessing each and everyone with platitude after platitude. My take? Shut up and watch the game.
10. Money: I’m not saying it’s not important. But I am saying it’s overrated. If anything, it seems to me that people who have the most money seem to have the most problems. Give me self worth over net worth any day of the week.
SO, there you have it. My little list of 10 things that are overrated. What do you find overrated?
Image: Daniel Ogren via Creative Commons
About John Cave Osborne
i may get flamed for this, but Fergie is a classic “butterface”…everything butterface is hot.
Also, dont get me started on Notre Dame. I support any team playing Notre Dame, even if it’s the SC Trojans.
I was coerced into playing fantasy football this year. I also refer to it as D&D for grown men. I’ve been enjoying it more than I expected to. However, I’m a dork & still think it’s D&D for grown men.
Excellent list.
Twitter Name: TheDanaK
Tank you, the first thought i had was “BUTTERFACE!”
Also overrated? Movies by George Lucas *ducks* And I love Star Wars, but as a director? He really isn’t all that.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
anissa, i’m with you on George Lucas. and ready for this? i’m not even all that into the Star Wars deal. (also w. you on butterface and wish i’d the nuts(ack rogers) to roll w/ it.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
She wouldn’t be a butterface if her body wasn’t a freaking 10. I mean, I rock the “everything is flabby butterface” look, soooo, there’s that.
Twitter Name: TheDanaK
“I’d put a paper bag on everything butterface!”
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
dana, i’m SO glad you rocked it. b/c i was gonna in the post, but i didn’t for outta fear i’d get BOMBARDED.
THOUGH the readership of Aiming Low is totally awesome and knows an irreverent joke when they read one.
but i’ve been persecuted for far less over at Babble, so, again, i shied away. but Fergie is the textbook definition of a butter face. well played, my friend.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Yeah, after some lurking, I realize I need to play at Aiming Low more often…
Twitter Name: TheDanaK
I’m embarrassed to say that I had to ask my husband what “butterface” means. He just changed the stress. I was saying BUTterface (as it’s spelled). He said, butterFACE….OHHHHHHHH! GEEZ. Can’t believe I’d missed that for how long? I LOVE Aiming Low!
kristen, first off, i’m such a wuss for not going w/ butterface, but again, didn’t wanna offend. shoulda known that the readership here wouldn’t have been all “what an arrogant man.” instead, they’d debate the various inflections of the word butterface and how each one might mean something different. i, of course, would have meant the term in this context. Fergie? Her body is unbelievable, butterface is atrocious.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
That’s allright. You’re just getting oriented here. LOOK AT ALL YOUR COMMENTS! This is your proper home, dontcha think? (As I already said below).
I met Fergie once and believe me…you are SO right. She’s downright frightening without make-up. And she wasn’t all that pleasant either.
I love this list and agree with all of it. Except I have no clue about the football besides the fact that my husband is in like 50 different pools. I don’t get it.
Twitter Name: January Soden
i’m all about the football. and i’m a total gamer. as in i like to play the games. but what i don’t like to do is give away an entire day and hole up w/ a bunch of frustrated ex-jocks and draft a “fantasy” team, then become an even bigger stats dork than i already am during the season. plus, i’ve actually done fantasy once and i found that it interfered w/ my gaming. in that sometimes for my fantasy league, i’d need a player to do well who was on a team i’d bet against. what tangle webs sports dorks weave…
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Great list! I especially agree about Caillou (both my kids have loved that whiny kid) and Notre Dame. They get all this special treatment, TV deals as if they’re gods. Yet, they suck! And their fans? Ugh! They have such an attitude of entitlement and over-inflated egos.
Again, great list and spot on!
Twitter Name: late_mommy
@judy n thanks! notre dame SUCKS. entitlement is the exact word.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
That whiny little bitch Caillou makes me want to hurt things. He needs to go into his heart festooned primary colored house and whine to his parents privately. Asshole.
And yes, I find that most of the people I know who are *in* (like in-in) to fantasy football are high school has beens with a bad case of the Swoll.
Twitter Name: julieinthelou
excellent use of “case of the Swoll.” duly noted and totally agree. thanks for commenting, my friend.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Ohhh thank you for saying Fergie is over rated!!I don’t get her and I find her repulsive most days. And really? Married to Josh Duhamel?
Oh and Glee started out strong but has become a freak show for high school nerds to aspire to! I would have liked you to have elaborated on just reality TV in general. It’s definitely over rated and has destroyed the need for anyone to follow a real show that has a plot or may require a thought process! Seems anything not reality TV gets canceled these days!
the only reason why i’d not be the best candidate to go on and on about reality TV is b/c i simply don’t watch it.
THOUGH, i did write a piece called “Idle Americans” several years ago that poked fun at American Idol and unveiled my theory on what spawned reality TV. and it’s a pretty good theory.
i should maybe work that in here at AL for one of my next posts. thanks for the idea! as well as for reading and taking the time to leave a comment.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Oh how I despise Caillou! Luckily for me, however, only my youngest son ever liked it. And don’t even get me started on Fergie (whom I generally refer to as Furby), or any of the rest of the Black Eyed Peas. As a sport fan, fantasy teams in general just seem bizarre to me. Then there’s money. Oh wow is money ever overrated. :)
Twitter Name: GasStationSushi
Furby may be my favorite nickname ever.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Wow. I was so sure that ladybug taint link was going to take me to urbandictionary.com. So disappointing!
no, just proof that there actually is something called Ladybug Taint. though you should totally come up w/ the urban definition and rock it.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
I am with you on the “Reality” TV thing. Also overrated: minivans, Santa. Both unneccesary. It may also be worth discussing what is underrated, like pooping and not having a paper cut.
Twitter Name: about100percent
santa, sadly, has whored out a spiritual holiday beyond a recognizable point. it’s totally sad and he’s totally overrated.
hate minivans, but my wife and i both drive Yukons (she’s in a Denali) and i know some people hate those. but we got so many kids, we both need big vehicles and try as we may, neither of us could come to grips w/ a minivan.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
I wish I could say “sitting on my ass doing a whole lotta nothing” was overrated.
But I can’t. Physically can’t. That’s about as underrated as anything I’ve ever heard of lately.
Twitter Name: ASassyRedhead
carry, for me sitting on my ass and doing absolutely nothing is a pipedream. and from time to time, i kinda get ornery about it. how i wish i could, indeed, sit on my ass occasionally and do nothing. something about 5 kids, 4 of them under four.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Athletic D&D? ROFL…that’s awesome
Twitter Name: Izzymom
thanks, girl. glad that gave you a chuckle.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
JCO — I do believe you have found your ideal blogging venue! Babble Voices = way better than regular old Babble (at least for even ever-so-slightly off-color humor). But, again, Aiming Low kicks ass.
kristin (misspelled your name the first time and that’s no way to treat one of my faves…),
Babble’s StrollerDerby and BeingPregnant were both fine, but i always enjoyed my co-workers more than the actual work, itself. (the volume, man. i’m not a mass copy guy. don’t wanna be…) still, i was a huge fan of most everyone i met at the mothership. and from day 1, they’ve been extremely good to me.
so to get the chance to still be in touch w/ those folks AND write for BVoices which is, as you pointed out, much more my style? can’t tell you how happy i am.
period. next thought.
i dig Aiming Low bigtime. i dig Anissa. i dig the editor. i dig the writers. i dig the readers. and i’m so happy to be writing here.
oh. and i dig you, too.
word, bird.
Twitter Name: johncaveosborne
Dig you right back! And I enjoy Babble a lot: KAG, Monica, Dawn Meehan, and more! But as I’ve said before, I also dig some profanity and when I’m in a more off-color/profane mood? Aiming Low!
Sooo with you on Glee! And I could not agree with this more – “Give me self worth over net worth any day of the week.”
As for what I think is overrated . . .
Twilight is overrated.
True Blood is overrated.
Sleep is overrated. I think anyway cause it’s not like I ever get any.
Twitter Name: daylelynne
Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Brad Pitt – all overrated. Bacon, not rated high enough.
Twitter Name: IlinaP
I’d say that Lord of the Rings is rated pretty accurately in the public eye. Both the movies and the books are fucking masterpieces
Love this! Except the part about summer. Seriously, you’d understand if you had to live through Canadian winters. God awful. And Caillou. Created to drive parents insane!