San Diego is a cool town. I was lucky enough to breathe in it’s warm, fishy air last month when I attended BlogHer.
(BlogHer was fantastic, by the way. I learned shit & was inspired by shit & caroused with a lot of non-shitty people. Evidenced below).
Beyond the walls of the Marriott Marquis were rows and rows of boats. Little dingys. Big ass barges. And vast ass vessels.
I was intrigued by all the different names people had given their fancy ass water crafts and wondered why they chose what they chose. And then we just started making up stories behind the monikers. For example:
Twice Blessed! This is probably owned by someone with two vaginas or two peeners.
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19th Hole! This is most likely owned by someone who enjoys a martini and anal sex after a round of hitting balls.
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Whiskers! I’m guessing this is owned by a woman who scored the boat in the divorce settlement. She now lives on the boat with seven felines and a shit ton of Fancy Feast. Their names are Skipper, Gilligan, Mary Ann, Ginger, The Professor, The Millionaire, and Lovey. They all have matching captain’s hats.
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Fantasea! I imagine this clever sea person is the creator of Fanta soft drinks. Oooo! OR it’s owned by Ludacris. Maybe he bought it in honor of his hit song, “What’s Your Fantasy?” If so, make sure you don’t come knockin’ when the boat’s rockin’. You can’t un-see that.
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I have a feeling that I’m right. DAMMIT, I am such a genius. I should be a boat name detective person or something.









My stepparents own a boat. It is named “Passin’ a good time.” I’m pretty sure it is because when you float by you are passing a good time. Maybe I’m too literal.
Or maybe they are gassy. Yeah, that’s probably it.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Or maybe they smoke weed.
Wouldn’t two ‘ginas and two peeners=4xBlessed? I should probably not question your boat-name detectiveness. I’ll just shut the hell up.
Twitter Name: betadad
You’re right. Me no good at arithmetic.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Our boat was named “Sorry, sir!” I’d love to hear what you make up for that one!
Yep, “was.” Past tense. Ever heard that the two happiest days in a boat owner’s life are the day he bought it and the day he sold it? True. Too true.
Hmmm. Kelly, I’ve been thinking about this for a good 11 minutes & I’ve got nuthin’. Maybe the former owner was a transvestite prostitute.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I was there, but I might have been acting a little shitty. No, no, no…I was wearing my baby and sometimes she would get a little shitty, but then I would change her diaper.
Twitter Name: Unknown Mami
it’s not my boat, by the way, that first one. in case anyone was wondering.
Some of those boat names are pretty funny. Lots of clever boaters out there. No alcohol involved at all, I’m sure! ;)
Twitter Name: SugarJones