I like visiting new places, but I hate traveling. Therefore, I make sure when I’m traveling that I bring loads of stuff to distract me from traveling. Despite never having been referred to as a “techie” by myself or anyone else, my travel distractions consist of the following items:
- Blackberry Playbook because I cannot go 24 hours without playing Tetris.
- Cell phone
I just recently got the Nook and the Playbook, so this was actually the first time I traveled without a physical book, magazine or newspaper. Shut up, of course, people still read newspapers. I think.
Did you know they make you turn that stuff OFF when the plane is taking off and landing?
OhMYGod, if you include take off and landing, that’s approximately 26 minutes of travel time that must be spent undistracted if everything you brought is electronic.
OH, THE HUMANITY.
I would very much like to diverge at this point and say that I am very suspicious of the whole “your cell phones are going to mess up our radar” ploy. But, I won’t. It’s fine, I believe you, “captain.”
Anyway, what do you do when you have to sit there strapped to a seat for 13 minutes while the pilot lands and takes off?
I would also like to diverge here and write another post about how suspicious I am of the fact that it takes an entire thirteen minutes to land a plane. I mean, come on. If I took thirteen minutes to get in my driveway, I’d be committed to a “special” institute. But I won’t write that post either. Because, it’s fine, I still believe you, “captain.”
One one of the two roundtrip airline trips I’ve taken in the past two weeks, I’m found myself fidgeting in my seat when I noticed Tariq reading some magazine and literally crying because he was laughing so hard.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m reading the SkyMall Magazine.”
“And… that’s… funny? Isn’t that a catalog of stuff you can buy?”
“Oh, it’s not just stuff. It’s … hahahahahaha… you have to see this.”
He holds up the catalog and shows me this:
So. This guy apparently really wants to be comfortable on his flight. Look, I want to be comfortable on my flights, too, but I’d rather have a sore neck than relinquish my dignity for all eternity. Pull yourself together, man.
I will say that one of these would have been very useful in my tenth grade math class.
Tariq, amid near hysterics, says, “This means he got his little sleeping wedge all ready…hahahaha… went through security….hahahaha… sat in the waiting area… hahahahahaha… and boarded the plane with it!!”
Now, we’re both laughing.
“But, wait, there’s more!” he flips the pages and shows me this:
That’s a hat that has a hole in it so you can slide your sunglasses through the bill of the cap. Because, you know, pulling your sunglasses off and putting them on the bill of your cap is extremely inconvenient. Naturally.
Now, it’s just uncontrollable laughter and the guy on the other side of Tariq is no longer scared and uncomfortable because he’s sitting next to Muslims on a plane but because he’s sitting next to people who are obviously high on drugs.
We look at at more items, laughing or pontificating on the usefulness of each one. We discuss whether the price is right, wonder about the people who think of these things and, goodness, about the people who buy these things?!
Suddenly, our ears pop and the thud we’ve come to know as landing gear signifies that we’re going to be on the ground any minute. We hold hands during descent, and I realize that those thirteen minutes weren;t long, at all.
Soon, we’ll be home giving baths, cleaning up after dinner, and trying to get work done. There will be no long stretches of quiet time spent frantically trying to find something to do.
There will be too many somethings to do and not enough time do them.
We look at each other and realize we’re thinking the same thing.
And then we start laughing like maniacs.
A sleeping wedge?