Last weekend, I let my six-year-old daughter get her ears pierced.
Let.
As in allowed.
As in gave my permission for something she wanted for herself.
I swear to God she asked to get her ears pierced and I did not, contrary to what the strangers gathered around the window of a Claire’s in a Jersey City mall might think, force my young child to get her ears pierced.
A couple weeks ago, Emma mentioned that she wanted to get her ears pierced. I told her that was fine, but that she had to think about it for at least a week and that she would have to pay for half of the cost of the earrings.
“Will it hurt?” she asked.
“Yes,” I told her honestly, “but only for a little bit.”
A week later, while walking through the Diamond District in New York City, Emma announced that the required week had passed and she was, indeed, ready to get her ears pierced “just like I promised you Mom.”
“Sweetheart, they are your ears,” I assured her. “I don’t want or not want you to get them pierced.”
Much like when my husband had a vasectomy last summer, I wanted to make it very clear that this potentially painful procedure was neither my idea nor my fault. I wear the label of control freak often and was desperate to avoid it in these particular situations.
Your nuts, your ears, your decision. It’s the family creed.
My daughter told me repeatedly that she was ready. She was sure. She was sure and begging and insistent for days, until I finally agreed to take her on Saturday to the nearest mall.
And then she let the entire world – or at least all of New Jersey – know that her mother was a monster.
She cried. She squirmed. She asked me twelve dozen more times if it would hurt.
“Honey, you don’t have to do this,” I said, calmly and lovingly.
“I know, I know. I want to do this,” she said, quietly so that no one near us would hear.
“OK, ready?”
“NO! NO! I DON’T WANNA! IT’S GONNA HURT!” she said, in her loudest most tortured voice.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to.”
“OK, she’s ready.”
“NOOOOOOO!!!! I’M SCARED! IT’S GONNA HURT! SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRIBLE WOMAN WHO IS CLEARLY PUSHING HER IDEAS OF VANITY AND FEMININITY ONTO MY SENSITIVE LITTLE EAR LOBES!”
And thus the cycle continued for about thirty minutes until another girl twice her age came in to get her ears pierced. Emma hopped out of the chair and made way for the next customer, watched in awe as the other scared little girl bit back tears in an attempt to be brave for a stranger. And then she sat in my lap and got her ears pierced without so much as a whimper.
Of course, the crowd of horrified onlookers had dispersed by that point.
About Britt Reints
Your family creed should be every family’s creed. Epic.
Your nuts, your ears…BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Except I DO want to force the Big V. Ahem.
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
My daughter is a major fashionista, wears armfulls of bracelets and enough necklaces to make Mr. T jealous – every day. She’s now asking for earrings. We were one day away from doing it until I had to take it back as a punishment because she shoplifted…yeah, she stole from Disney world. She has no idea it hurts though.
Twitter Name: suitcasetricks
Brit, my daughter was 2. She begged and begged for weeks and finally we took her to Claires (gosh that was long ago, she is now 28). The clerk told her if she shed a single tear, she would not pierce her ears (that was their policy back then) and if she cried after the first ear, they wouldn’t do the second ear. She was very brave, I saw the tear welling up after the first earring, but she held it in and walked out of the store happy!
(she probably remembers a different version of this event too haha!)
Twitter Name: karenlynnn
Alexis was four when she got hers done a FULL YEAR after she started begging me to let her. Of course, since she REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted them pierced, she sat there like a perfect angel, much to the disappointment of the crowd that had gathered in hopes of a fun show.
“Your nuts, your ears, your decision.” Love it.
I think kids take secret classes on how to make us look like the worst parents in the world.
Twitter Name: therealneeroc
“Your nuts, your ears, your decision.” Can we cross-stitch this on something?
Twitter Name: robinobryant
OMG Tessa did the same thing. Now that you’ve forced her into piercing her ears, mind that you don’t let her wear anything other than studs because you’ll be judged for that, too.
Twitter Name: Im_Wendy
We made the Sorority Girl beg until she was 12!
In about 13 years I’ll tell you the story of me holding her hand while she got her first tattoo. I made her beg for that until she was 18.
OMG! As I read this I was like – wait! This is the exact thing that happened to me! I am mexican and my husband is italian – so of course our family always asked why her ears were not pierced.. anyway – my 6 yr old decided she wanted them and I let her make that decision. She did great! :) xxoo :)
Laura~
Bwahahahahahahahaha!! Ahem. I mean, uh, sorry, Britt. Yay, Emma!!!!
Twitter Name: Whatsananna
Ha. Like I just told “Nanna” on FB, I had a similar experience with the little tortured soul herself when she was nine years old and I “let” Sammi get hers done. She freaked out and pulled away from the gun at the last second. There were two girls doing her ears at the same time, so it would get done in one shot. But, Sammi pulled back before the second girl shot her earring in and the left ear came out perfect, but the right ear? The earring went in at the VERY tip of her ear lobe and literally was dangling practically upside down because she missed her ear. We had to take the earring out of the tip…which of course, made my then 9 year old scream her fool head off. We had to let that hole in the tip close up on its own. But, because she was so “traumatized” by that experience, Sam walked around with ONE ear pierced for nearly five years…before she decided at age 14 to get it re-pierced again.
People were always asking me why I only got ONE of Sam’s ears pierced…and I would always just GLARE at my daughter and say, “I don’t know! Sam…why don’t YOU explain why mommy only got ONE of your ears pierced?” To which my daughter would happily explain “we were very poor, so mom could only afford to do ONE ear…” LMAO Lovely child I have. Truly lovely.
Congrats to the lovely Emma for being such a brave girl and to Mama, for having the courage to withstand the disapproving looks I am certain you received every time Emma let out a wail. I know everyone was staring at me like I was one of those horrific mothers from “Toddlers and Tiaras.”
“No! She really WANTS them done!”
Sure she does, Lady. Suuuuuure she does. LOL
Twitter Name: thegoddesscher
My daughter is turning six in December and she has been asking to get her ears pierced for her birthday. I’m not sure that she understands that it really will hurt! (Even if only for a little while) Care to share how the aftermath of this went, like the care and cleaning and first night sleeping on fresh pierced ears? I recently had mine re-pierced a few years ago and it hurt worst than I remembered from when I was a kid. Thanks for sharing!
Caity had hers done at 6 too and then they grew over already…oh well. One also got infected a bit too..but again…I figured it was all a learning experience.
I think we went 10 times before mine finally followed through, and then she looked at me and said, “That was nothing.”
I am the horrid mother who took her BABIES to Claires and had their ears pierced with no regard whatsoever to what they might have wanted when they grew up. No more trauma to them than when they were getting shots at the doc. (And they looked so cute!)
Daughter the first is now 29 and has holes poked all over the place and tattoos too. She’s beautiful.
Daughter the second let hers grow over at some point and doesn’t wear jewelery. She’s beautiful.
In the end, they still got to choose what was right for them.
Me too. As they are identical twins I thought that if I got their ears pierced it would end the identification game with family and friends. They would see the color of the stone and know who was who. Yeah, but most of the time no one bothered to remember which daughter had what color!
They are now 13 and probably have not worn earrings for the past 3 years.
Funny, my Mom made me wait till I was in grade 3 to get them done. I consider myself naked without a pair in!
We had the girls ears pieced for their 2nd birthdays (hush, they got diamond rings for their 3rd. From their uncle, not us. Do you think I’m crazy?)
With my youngest, she jerked and they missed one ear altogether (they tried to do them both at the same time) We had to walk around for over an HOUR with a crying baby. Once she was calmed down, we went back and when I sat down with her.. she screamed bloody effin murder.
It was a pleasant experience for her, me, and the poor girl piercing Meg’s ears.
Twitter Name: Msbatman
We have a similar mantra in our family. I got my ears pierced when I was 6, so I told my girls they could do the same if they wanted. On their 6th birthday, we went to get them done. One got one pierced, bit back tears and got the second. My other daughter, though, HOLY HELL! She got the first ear and FLIPPED OUT.
She calmed down and insisted she wanted the other ear, but then would yell and scream when they tried to do it. We spent THREE HOURS there with her going back and forth. We called older friends who had gotten theirs pierced. She talked to them and decided she wanted it done, only to scream when they tried to pierce the other ear. They even called in other women to do the piercing with no luck. They even pierced her stuffed camel’s ears, but they still couldn’t pierce that one last ear.
In the end, she had a single earring and I walked out carrying the other. We passed another jewelry store on our way to the car. I asked AGAIN, if she still wanted it done and she said she did. So we explained the situation and stopped in there. The woman there was able to pierce that last ear in a matter of seconds. She wasn’t any better or worse than the others, so I have no clue what on earth was up.
Twitter Name: OurGoatRodeo
I have a similar picture of my then 8 yo daughter getting her’s peirced in a storefront window. Only she’s clutching the teddy bear the store had appoint for duty to let people hold. That’s what she wanted for her 8th birthday. What tickled me is a moment before earing she looked at me and asked, “Do you think it will hurt?” Like that was the first time she considered that. She’s done great with them….when she uses sterling posts. Have fun.
Twitter Name: southmainmuse
And yes, I confess I sometimes peek in the window at Claire’s to see little girls getting their ears done! Kind of a like watching an American rite of passage :) And you KNOW however it happens at least the mother will never forget.
Sorry you have to remember it this way!
Aww. I was ten the first time I got my ears pierced, it took for awhile but I let them close up. Did it the second time for my 13th birthday & still have those. Got a second hole in each ear for my 14th & wore earrings in them all through HS but mostly let them close up…a few years ago I found one of the holes by accident while putting earrings in by touch! :D
The other one wasn’t as receptive, though…debating for awhile now whether I want to repierce that one. ;p
Congrats to your little girl! ;-)
Twitter Name: Al_Pal
I told my girl she could get her ears pierced when she was 13 (like I did), but when she was 12 she asked if she could get it done as she had saved enough to pay for it herself. So she did. She only ever wears two different pair of earrings (silver studs, and occasionally rose gold studs her aunt gave her, she’s afraid she’ll lose them). My memory of that day? Holding onto and sitting down on a wheely chair whilst they did it, only to have the chair scoot out and me hit the polished concrete floor VERY hard. Oh, and the x-ray required to make sure I hadn’t broken anything. And the industrial strength pain killers needed for about a week so I could sit down!
Brave little girl! And a great picture of you two, by the way.
My sister got her baby’s ears pierced when she was only a few MONTHS old. I was horrified, but went along and took pictures for her. Weird? I don’t know. Baby K cried and cried but stopped after a few minutes. I don’t think I’d have done that to my baby girl, but it was my sister’s baby, and I had to put my controlling ways aside for a while little!
House rules: ears at 10. Second at period. Nose at 40. When I got my nose done, took my kids to watch in horror. kept them piercing free thru highschool (so far…!)
Twitter Name: returntoworkmom
Wait until she wants to get her nose pierced…
Twitter Name: msmegan
I’m glad there are a few other horrible mothers out there who took their babies to get them done.
I had Little Misses ears pierced at seven months old or so – gave her a dose of tylenol before we went into the mall and had her pacifier ready. She cried for like, four seconds.
Three years later and she’s wearing a different pair every day.
My mom had mine pierced when I was little but I was allergic and could only wear 24K gold and they were infected all the time so she took them out. When I was in high school I had them re-done…..then added seven more. Then I got sick of putting in nine earrings a day and stopped wearing them at all…now they’re all closed >.<
Twitter Name: s_CSR
I have two daughters who begged to have their ears pierced and I finally convinced their father to let them have them pierced. They were 10 and 13. And they love their pierced ears!
I had mine pierced when I was eight–by hand. There was no such thing as a gun. I was excited, scared, and didn’t shed a tear! (of course, there was a huge crowd watching!)
Your daughter was obviously just scared–and needed someone to blame as she was struggling with her fear. Who cares what everyone else thinks! She stated she was ready and you trusted her. I’m sure she is completely happy now!
And I agree with Megan. My oldest has an upper ear piercing and my other daughter wants a nose piercing! It never ends….
I’m 9 years old and I got my ears pierced on January 18 2012.It was on a Thursday after school and I begged my parents on getting my ears pierced.When my friend Amber got her ears pierced on a Wednesday 2012 I cried about it.So my mom talked my dad into getting my ears pierced. It was dad that was worried about getting my ears pierced.My mom was a little bit worried to.When my parents were driving me to the mall my heart was beating so fast I was really nervous.When I got my ears pierced it didn’t hurt that bad. I have some studs and I can’t stop looking at them.
I’m Sierra’s mom and i was a little bit worried about her getting her ears pierced. When I had it done years ago it really hurt as they used spring loaded piercing guns. I didn’t know that the ones used now aren’t like that. i was happy it didn’t hurt her. And now she’s not bugging me about getting them pierced!!