People of the Internets, my family needs you.
We are a house divided, and everyone knows that a house divided cannot enjoy a picnic together.
Our problem centers around the classic American cuisine: the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Or rather, the problem centers around the peanut butter and peanut butter sandwiches that my husband is trying to pass off as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Good people of the Internet, I think we can all agree that the proper way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is:
- Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread.
- Apply jelly to another slice of bread.
- Slap two slices of bread together.
Yes? Yes. Right. Of course.
But my husband, who is obviously deranged, insists on packing picnic lunches with sandwiches made like so:
- Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread.
- Apply peanut butter to another slice of bread.
- Apply a smidge of jelly in the middle of one slice of bread, a garnish of jelly, really.
- Slap slices of bread together, creating a peanut butter and peanut butter with a garnish of jelly sandwich.
My son and I are standing firm that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches require the inclusion of adequate amounts of jelly. My husband and daughter insist that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches should be made of 90% peanut butter, which is crazy.
“The peanut butter jar is bigger!” Jared declared during the most recent battle of the Peanut Butter and Jelly Wars.
“I’m going to write about this,” I responded, which every blogger knows is code for “prepare to have the entire world disagree with you.”
“If the entire world says I’m wrong,” said Jared (who speaks blogger), “then I don’t want to be right!”
Internet, back me up on this. It’s peanut butter and jelly, which means there should be an equal representation of jelly on the sandwich, right?
Right. Yes. Obviously.
Please leave your allegiance and agreement in the comments.
About Britt Reints
The hubs likes “the soak” (pb on one side, jelly on the other). I like peanut butter on both sides to avoid “the soak”. My son, however, likes jelly on 1.5 pieces of bread and pb on the last half. Um. Ok. Riiiight. The fourth member of our family wouldn’t eat P Jellies (as they are known on our house) if you paid him.
Of course, none of this matters now since I am allergic to peanuts.
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
The only reason the peanut butter jar is bigger is because you bought the bigger jar, no other reason! Jelly should be equal, if not greater! :)
Twitter Name: JessNSB
You are right!! Peanut Butter on one side…Jelly on the other. Your husband is obviously an alien. lol
I 100% agree with you and your son! Equal representation for all!
Twitter Name: AndreaUpdyke
I do have a daughter that eats only peanut butter sandwiches. That being said, everyone ELSE in our house appreciates a fair amount of jelly covering their 2nd slice of bread. Also, I have a friend who can make small children who do not like PB&J enjoy it. Her secret? PB on one side of the bread and JELLY on both of the sides of the bread. Jelly is not a garnish.
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo
I have made it both ways. However, if I am going to put Peanut Butter on both sides of the bread, you bet your ass the jelly in the middle is going to be substantial…not a smidgen.
Twitter Name: Bellaventa
Have you ever had an Uncrustable?? Those things are soft pbj goodness. However, I have never tried the pb on both sides on a regular sandwich. My husband uses waaay too much everything on pbj. Guess what I’m having for lunch tomorrow?? Mmmmm.
Twitter Name: mommafo
My niece will only eat jelly w/ a garnish of peanut butter. I would not eat pb&j if you held a gun to my head and a knife to my belly.
Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread.
yes
Apply peanut butter to another slice of bread.
yes
Apply a smidge of jelly in the middle of one slice of bread, a garnish of jelly, really.
a smidge? oh come on. really?
a nice thick layer of strawberry jam for this
customer.
oh, and while we’re creating iron chef worthy lunchbox masterpieces here
7 grain wheat
toasted :)
Rene
Equal amounts PB and J is the way to go. It’s a PB&J sandwich, not a a PB sandwich accented with J.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren
Never a smidgen.
If the PBJ is to be consumed immediately, the PB to J ratio should be roughly equal.
If the PBJ is to be consumed at a later point, then PB is used on both sides of the bread. However, the J in the middle should definitely be of a substantial amount.
Never a smidgen.
Twitter Name: thepsychobabble
Your husband actually puts a garnish of jelly on his peanut butter sandwiches? How did you manage that?! MY boyfriend just stopped eating jelly one day, just up and decided he didn’t like it anymore. So now, all he will make is a plain peanut butter sandwich. Except sometimes even that’s not good enough, and he makes it like this instead:
1. Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread.
2. Add another piece of bread.
3. Apply peanut butter to that slice of bread.
3. Add another piece of bread.
4. Eat triple-decker peanut butter sandwich in 3 bites.
Haha, I am completely with you, though! Equal representation for the PB and the J!
Twitter Name: alwayscasualash
Going to have to disagree with you on this one. A smidge of jelly is all I can handle. I would much rather have a ton more PB!!
I’m going to go as far as to say that there should be 60% jelly and 40% peanut butter.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
I’ll throw another variation in the mix for you: Take a bowl, and mix equal parts peanut butter and jelly together until combined. Spread on bread.
This is how I always ate them growing up. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that I realized people ate them another way.
I’ve no idea where my mom learned how to do it like that.
Britt, I love you deeply, but I’m 100% against you on this one. There is nothing grosser than PB&J where the jelly soaks into the bread and gets all smooshy and looks like a big bread bruise. Ew, ew, ew. That’s why I started making my own lunch in fifth grade. The peanut butter must protect the bread – on BOTH sides!
Twitter Name: sarahmorgan
ha ha! yes, you are right britt. 50/50. however, i do personally prefer a 60/40 split where the 60 is pb and the 40 is strawberry jelly. :) like robin! sorry jared. :(
Twitter Name: Liza_Rae
I’m sorry. You’re wrong, you’re BOTH wrong.
You DO need peanut butter on both sides – prevents leakage. But a smidgeon is not enough – you need enough that it fills the entire middle of the sandwich, with the peanut butter just sealing the edges. It’s more like a sealed pita, really!
I would have to say that 55% Peanut Butter and 45% Jelly would be my preferred representation of ingredients. HOWEVER 90% peanut butter is just wrong. I don’t even understand how he eats it without choking on a giant peanutbuttery glob
Twitter Name: amandamaea
It MUST be peanut butter on one side and jelly on the other, because I find it impossible to get the jelly to spread properly if it’s being placed on a layer of peanut butter. An equal amount of jelly is required or else the peanut butter is too sticky and difficult to swallow!
Twitter Name: sungryphon
I can’t really comment on this (though of course I’m going to!) as I have never had a pb&j sandwich in my life (us Brits just… don’t. I mean, we eat sandwiches (we’re even credited for “inventing” them), just not this particular one), but as a totally neutral observer, so to speak, I would instinctively have made it like you said, not your husband.
That said, I loathe peanut butter (sticks to your teeth and palate – GAH) and can’t imagine EVER mixing it with jam (jelly to me is something quite, quite different – jello, I believe you call it. Wobbly, rubbery stuff made with “fruit”?), so I’m most certainly not your ideal commenter.
But it’s 3.45 am, I’m still up, still got work to do and have to be up again by 8 so yeah, this is the perfect thing to do: write saga-length comments on subjects I know nothing about!
As an American living in Australia, I get a lot of people who if Americans really eat peanut butter and jelly because of the jelly/jam confusion. What you call jelly, we call jello. What you call JAM (or preserves or etc.), we call jelly. So it’s still a PB&J, it just stands for peanut butter and jam. Peanut butter and jello on a sandwich would probably be pretty gross honestly.
Of course you’re right. If they don’t like how you make peanut jellies, then they can make their own. Problem solved.
Twitter Name: litlsuzzy
Why use a smidge? Why not just have a peanut butter sandwich?
Peanut butter on wheat is a favorite of the grandkids. The oldest will not go near jelly.
Personally I LOVE pbj sandwiches and there must be as much if not more jelly than peanut butter.
Twitter Name: Adriennevh
You are right and he is right. However, I will add that in my house, those who don’t like the way I make or do pretty much anything and everything can do or make “it” themselves.
If I do it, I do it my way. He wants it his way? He makes it himself. Period.
Item: I don’t ask him to make one for me. He always does it wrong and I’d rather not have a sammich if it’s made wrong.
I am not overly particular. I am right. :)
Twitter Name: Mamacita
You’re both wrong. Clearly, it goes:
1) Apply butter to one slice of bread.
2) Apply a layer of peanut butter on top.
3) Apply an equal amount of preserves to another slice of bread.
That’s the way my dad made them for my lunch every single day, grade school through high school, and that’s how I continue to make them today.
Twitter Name: MonsteRawr
White bread, a few days old so it’s not super soft and actually allows the spreading of PB. PB goes on one piece (the bottom piece to avoid soak through), jelly on the top. Must have a good PB to jelly ratio. To much PB ends up cementing the sandwich in your mouth. Too much jelly is too sweet and ends up killing my appetite for dessert, and there must be dessert.
Twitter Name: kirstenl4w
Its not called peanut butter and jelly for no reason!! Im with you :)
I agree with you, I’ve always done it that way. However after reading all the comments I think I might try the peanut butter on both slices just to see which is better. :-)
You are RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT! RIGHT!
Can you tell that I may be projecting here?
Twitter Name: Faiqa
I have such an aversion to PB&J that reading this made me feel kind of ill, but I ate it all the time as a kid. Go figure. I used to make it like you, with some of each on the bread.
Now, I ate PB and honey and PB has to be on both sides with honey in the middle. Honey directly on the wheat makes the bread crunchy – gross. If I do happen to make a PB&J for my son it’s never grape jelly (gagging) and always peach or raspberry preserves.
Twitter Name: jennsplace
I’m in the PB on both sides of the bread but AMPLE jelly in the middle camp. I don’t like the leaky sandwich but I like substantial jelly.
Personally, my favorite is actually cream cheese and jelly but I stick to the same construction formula for those as well.
Twitter Name: seewhatyoumeme
What is with your husband….of course there has to be equal amounts of pb and j! But then my husband put the pb on one slice of bread and then puts the jelly on the same slice before slamming the bread together, that just ain’t right either!!
I’ve never heard or thought of making them Jared’s way, but now I need to try it before I can make a judgment call.
Well, I believe that,as long as it is not a heated sandwich, certain formulas must be adhered to. If there is a dry portion (not including the bread of course) the wet portion must balance it. So there must at least be equal amounts peanut butter to jelly (if not slightly more jelly to compensate if the bread is day old). However, I am a purist and believe that one slice must be peanut butter and the other jelly as this is how you know which way is up. My mother never got this. She was a smidgin gal.
I’ll just say one thing more though. I once settled this argument with a family member by introducing them to fluffernutters. ‘nuf said.
Definitely equal portions. Just saying.
Twitter Name: Janie Snelson
Thanks a lot! Reading this blog made me hungry. Going down to the kitchen after midnight to make a pb & B sammich because bananas is how I roll. As for who’s right or who’s wrong. The wife’s right. Always. The wife is always right. Stupid men.
As a kid I would just stick peanuts in one cheek and raisins in the other. I hated the bread. Now I’ve grown to like bread and it’s definitely pb on one side and 1.5 the amount of jelly on the other. To be consumed immediately so it’s not a bring to work lunch- I still hate soggy bread.
Twitter Name: Exittoslowdown
50% peanut butter, 50% jelly
But, sadly, this is another sitution when that riduculous tool Dr. Phil actually has a good point: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
So everyone should probably shut up and make their own damn sandwich.
Sorry I gotta go with Marlboro Man on this one. Too much jelly ends up on your lap, your fingers, and all the doorknobs in the house.
PB – 70%, divided equally across two slices of white bread
J – 30%, grape only.
So, slightly more than a smidgen, definitely more than a garnish, but jelly is still clearly the side dish to the entree that is peanut butter.
Twitter Name: rotarykat
The peanut butter must, with equal thickness, touch every edge on ONE piece of bread. The knife is wiped on the second piece of bread to prevent getting PB into the J jar. The jam or preserves (jelly sucks) must touch all four edges of its own piece of bread and also stay the same thickness as opposed to being just a thick whallop in the center.
HOWEVER, a third piece of properly peanut buttered bread may be added on the other side if the hungry person needs more PB.
This is important stuff. PB&J cannot be consumed when made improperly…another must be made.
Twitter Name: hellohahanarf
Option C: No jelly at all. Maybe sprinkle some sugar or add some bananas. Jelly substances freak me out.
Twitter Name: abuttsy
A – Jelly is gross. Spring for jam. I highly recommend strawberry.
B – PB has to go on both sides to prevent bread sog. Bread sog is a crime against nature and should be avoided at all costs. This is usually only a problem, however, if the sandwiches are being packed for later nommage.
C – if there is too much jam in the sammich it plops out on your shirt when you eat it. This leads to frustration, dirty shirts, and probably is the real cause of global warming.
D – Skip the fruity stuff altogether and go for honey. Once you have PB&honey you’ll never go back.
Twitter Name: ellemmes
Amen to PB & honey. That’s my fave.
Twitter Name: Kizzbeth
My husband puts a normal amount of peanut butter on the PB&Js, but he does apply it to both sides. He calls it “the lipid bi-layer,” and he claims it keeps the jelly from making the bread soggy.
And he is right. He makes a great peanut butter sandwich.
Twitter Name: nicholee
This is how I do it for my son- he loves it! When I get lazy and leave off the “lipid bi-layer” it gets soggy and my boy gets upset!
If you are going to eat the sandwich right away, then PB on one side, jelly on the other. If you are going to wait anymore than 5 min before eating, especially for picnic then PB goes on both sides, jelly in the middle.
Twitter Name: 1111111111
I was going to dismiss the hubs mostly but then someone talked about THE SOAK. I do not like that. So I can see how PB on both slices contains the jelly and eliminates THE SOAK. But I still think you’d want to put less PB on each side. Don’t want your mouth to stick together.
My dad always did PB & Butter. Yeah, ’cause there’s not enough fat content in the PB, what you need there is some pure fat to balance it out. It’s actually kind of tasty except that you can feel your arteries harden as you chew.
Twitter Name: Kizzbeth
I LOVE PB and butter. As a kid I didn’t like PB&J and that was my go-to.
Twitter Name: msmegan
I love a good peanut butter/butter sandwich or butter/jelly sandwich, just not PB&J together.
But with that said, the 50%/50% is the way to go to make it, I know that much.
Twitter Name: breathe_again
Me and my friend are with you and your daughter! PB&J requires the proper amount of jelly to balance out the peanut butter!
I like peanut butter and Strawberry Jam on toasted, just fine, but the best peanut butter sammy is one that has buttered bread, fresh not toasted, (vegan becel) on each slice, a low moderate amount of peanut butter on each slice centered with iceburg lettuce, lots of it. Try it, it is DELISH!
Are you sure Jared is actually American?
Twitter Name: msmegan
Mmm, I’m siding with your husband: it’s all about the peanut butter. Jelly is a garnish. An extra little something. Equal amounts sounds crazy!
Twitter Name: nystoopmama
You are CLEARLY in the right here. He’s defacing the good name of PB&J. Stand strong, stand strong.
Twitter Name: DrCynicism
Personally I like my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with syrup and no jelly. Peanut butter and syrup all the way….
Just sayin
Twitter Name: Msbatman
I’m an equal amounter all the way. My husband thinks there should be substantially more jelly then PB
Twitter Name: MBonn
I used to make them with butter on the jelly side to avoid the jelly soaking in. I now divide the PB in half, and apply to both sides. Still avoid the jelly bread mush and end up with equal PB&J
Twitter Name: therealneeroc
I don’t think it really matters whether you peanut butter one slice or both slices of bread. The important factor is that the ratio of peanut butter to jelly is roughly equal. It never occurred to me to peanut butter both sides and jelly the middle to eat it later in the day without the sogginess. I just don’t pack PB&J because it gets soggy. I may have to try that. But, if I do, there will be equal PB AND J! None of this smidgen stuff. Peanut buttering both slices does sound like more work though because the layers would have to be thinner and that’s not the Aiming Low way as I understand it (unless consuming later – then rock on).