Most new moms are very picky about what goes into their babies’ stomachs. This is a good thing. But at some point, your child will be introduced to junk food.
Junk food is so much a part of our culture, that unless you live on a commune (which would probably be a good thing), your child is going to find his or her way to the Coke machine eventually. It may be a relative who offers your 13-month-old a cupcake. Or it may be your older child who gives your baby a sip of grape soda. Or you may be at a picnic, feeding your two-year-old organic baby food that you made from scratch from vegetables you grew in your garden, when he spies a toxic hot dog on someone else’s plate, snatches it up and stuffs it into his mouth before you can say “No nitrates!”
Regardless, eventually you are going to have to face to reality that children love junk food. It doesn’t matter how much you try and convince them that soy nuts are delicious and that agave nectar is delightful. One day your children are going to find out about Fruit Roll Ups and Hostess Cupcakes and they are going to fall in love. Forever.
When I was a child, my parents were hard-core health food Nazis. They were the kind of parents who didn’t let us trick-or-treat, except at the houses that gave out dried prunes and raisins. On our homemade whole-wheat pancakes, we poured Blackstrap Molasses and thought it was heavenly, because we didn’t know that something as amazing as maple syrup even existed. When we had birthday parties, my parents gave out sesame honey candies that they purchased from the health food store. Everyone at my parties spit them out, except for me. I thought they were Nirvana. Whenever someone offered us real candy, like a lollipop, at the bank or gas station, my parents turned away in horror, as if we had just been offered Agent Orange Fruit Snacks.
I was so deprived of sugary treats that at the age of four I actually stole a lollipop from the jar atop my piano teacher’s desk and hid in the bathroom to eat it. I stood quaking with fear next to the toilet, imagining the police coming to arrest me, but despite my bone-shaking guilt I still managed to eat the entire lollipop and even a little of the paper stick it came on.
My parents were wise, but they were overzealous. When you shelter your children from anything to the point of deprivation, they will retaliate, which is what I did. The minute I found myself at a friend’s house where their refrigerator was stocked with real live Pepsi cola, I would drink myself into an immediate high fructose corn syrup coma. One time, my ballet teacher gave each of us girls an oversize lollipop and before my parents could send in the Gestapo to relieve me of it, I had managed to wrap it in toilet paper and hidden it beneath my leotard. I ate it later, toilet paper and all, while hiding under the back porch. It was good.
In everything in life, there is a balance. Eat organic. Be healthy. But for the love of all that is tasty and delicious, let your child have a lollipop at the bank occasionally. Otherwise, you may risk him turning into a juvenile delinquent lollipop thief, like myself. And he definitely won’t be getting into any of those prestigious college prep pre-schools if that happens.
About Naomi De La Torre
Right on! Oh my gosh. That is totally taking the “healthy living” thing to an unattainable level. I was cracking up at the image of a young girl downing a lollypop next to a toilet. Hilarious!
Yeah, it’s pretty sick huh? But considering the fact that I watch my kids try to eat stuff off the floor all the time now, I guess children have different standards. Thanks for the visit!
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
I let Alex have fruit snacks.
And I don’t really feel bad about it. It’s like I stopped this thievery with my brain and low standards.
Twitter Name: TamingInsanity
You are a good mom warding off lollipop theivery before it starts. Alex is a lucky little guy.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
My kids eat so much junk food they steal the organic shit. Like *that’s* a treat! “Hey Mom, stop rotting our teeth, we want homegrown bean patties!”
Twitter Name: mommakiss
Bwhahahaaha! That reverse psychology. It always works doesn’t it?
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
Always works. I’m gonna try it with college, too – “nah, don’t go, it’s lame” in hopes they apply and get into Harvard.
Twitter Name: mommakiss
You are a parenting genius, MommaKiss. And honestly, I really think this works. ESPECIALLY when they get to high school/college age. They are so bent on doing exactly what you don’t want them to do. (Or at least I was.) You never really want to let them in on your true hopes or intentions or they will thwart them before you can even finish what you are saying.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
Yummy! Agent Orange is my favorite flavor, after Root Beer, of course.
Twitter Name: debontherocks
NO kidding? Me too. Great minds think alike, huh?
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
Pobresita. When I see you in Person I’m buying you a damn Lolli as big as your head. No hiding, you can eat it right out in public and wash it down with the ginormous Mojito that Im buying you:)XO
Twitter Name: Truthfulmommy
You have no idea how much I love you right now, Debi. If I could I would kiss you on the lips and ask you to marry me immediately.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
This is funny stuff. And SOOO true. We eat pretty healthily in our house. We don’t have a lot of sugar or processed foods. But we do have some. The best example of this is when my munchkin is hanging with her Grandma who tends to NOT eat as healthy as the rest of us. Every time she stays with Grandma, my wife and I joke that they are going to have bacon flavored ice cream just to knock those two treats out in one fell swoop!!!
oatestosow.blogspot.com
Twitter Name: missycj03
Ooooooh…bacon flavored ice cream. Now that’s a treat and a half!
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
My husband had a similar no-junk-food-EVAH childhood.
The way he ate for those first two years on his own still makes me a little queasy.
Twitter Name: thepsychobabble
That’s what I’m talking about!! All that blackstrap molasses and carob can make you kooooky! (or at least it did me. heh!)
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
My mom believed in moderation and so do I. It works out well. My kids can be candy-o-holics, but they can also ignore it.
My best friend wasn’t allowed any sugar. No juice. No candy. No TV. She’s a junk food aholic and can’t not watch the TV if it’s on.
Moderation is better. Ha.
Twitter Name: Issascrazyworld
Totally with you all the way. THat’s what I aim for with my kids. Moderation. I’m not perfect. But I try as best I can.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
Ha! Love this. We had such polar experiences. From the time I was a baby until I was about 4 years old my parents owned a bakery… I pretty much hit the sugar jackpot with that scenario!!! I am quite strict about Soleil’s food but this was a good reminder to not get overly paranoid :) You always make me smile!!
The sugar jackpot! That sounds like what I was looking for my whole childhood. Did I ever tell you that I once tried to sign up to be a Brownie (girl scouts) because I thought that would mean I would get to EAT brownies on a regular basis? That’s messed up, right?
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
When my son was 7 months old we attended a family wedding in another city. We all had a block of rooms in a large hotel and therefore took over the dining room one morning for breakfast. As we were waiting for our son’s organic steel cut oatmeal to arrive, I look over and find that my sister-in-law is feeding him grape jelly straight out of those little plastic single serve containers on the table. He wasn’t really interested in the oats after that.
Oh man! I think even I might’ve been sent over the edge by that one. Actually I was very careful with my firstborn son. It wasn’t until I had my second that I began to realize how hard it is to continue to control everything and I began to relax a bit. But eating jam directly from plastic packets? Now that takes it to a whole new level. Ha.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
You made me smile.
I’m strict at meals. If he eats well, he can have a junk food snack. Pop is for special occasions.
I believe in the reverse psychology too.
Twitter Name: grandemocha
Thanks, Grandemocha! That’s what I try for too. Good meals, but treats occasionally. And definitely. Definitely. That reverse psychology is some powerful shiz.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
The best example is for our kids to see us exercise restraint and moderation and making balanced food choices about quantities and frequencies.
Hey, I just said that was the best example, I didn’t say I did it. We had treats doled to us in small quantities and I can’t control myself from one minute to the next. Sadly, that part is true.
Yay for Agent Orange lollipops.
Twitter Name: penbleth
It’s funny you said that. Because I now realize that my 6 year old is actually even better than I am about junk sometimes. I have a bit of a soda addiction. And he only drinks water. He’s alwasy trying to convince me to stop drinking soda completely. And I know he’s right. It’s crazy when your kid starts to be smarter than you, huh!?
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
I was one of those deprived kids!!! Well, about certain things. I was allowed to have one only soda a week (and it was usually grape soda or root beer that was decaf). By the time I got to college, I became such a soda junkie that it’s all I drank. I still can’t live without soda. I don’t drink coffee, but deprive me of my Diet Pepsi in the morning, and you’re in trouble!
Great post as always!
I think you and I would make great IRL friends. WE could drink ourselves into a soda oblivion together. Not to mention, I think you are like the awesomest gal around. Thanks for stopping by! I know how busy you are right now. Yay for summer! It’s almost here!!!!
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom