not worth the crap that will leak out of them
We went to the beach a few weeks back. The babies were slathered in SPF1345, donned the cutest ever swim suits and sun hats and were sporting their brand spanking new swim diapers. Which leaked before we left the condo – I’m talking enough to soak little man’s trunks, run down the side of my body and pool in my havianas.
Changed him, blot dried trunks (they were gonna get wet anyway what with the ocean and all) and loaded little miss onto my other hip. Ruffly bikini bottom? Completely peed upon and her diaper filled to the brim.
As soon as we got back home, I promptly acted as any cheap mother responsible consumer would and sent an expertly penned email balanced with concern and disappointment to Kimberly-Clark’s customer service department. The words “literally rained on our parade” may have been used.
So last week we received a letter in the mail apologizing for the inconvenience and begging us to give them another go. They even included a coupon for a replacement package of swim nappies.
But, still, why, oh, why would I want to use them again?
Smiling Faces: Full of Promise or Full of Shit?
I asked Husband if I should return the coupon and explain my mistake and I was all “moral high road” and he was all “free diapers.” The man does have a point.
Tamara Smolyansky is a southerner married to a foreigner which means she has a very eclectic household; there’s caviar in her fridge and a stuffed bobcat in her basement. She lives in Atlanta with her much younger husband, their toddler twins and a menagerie of pets. Tamara enjoys uninterrupted slumber, goat cheese and mood stabilizers, but not necessarily in that order.
About Guest Writer
Swim diapers do not function to keep anyone dry ever. Their only purpose is to keep the floaters out of the pool.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Yep, what Robin said. Swim diapers are not meant to absorb. You aren’t supposed to put them on until you get where you’re going and are about to toss your babies into the water.
Twitter Name: sungryphon
I agree with Robin. Swim diapers do not hold in pee. They are for children who may poop in the pool. When we used them while the babies were little, they wore a regular diaper to the pool where we changed into the swim diaper and then had to change back to a regular diaper before we left.
I had to use swim diapers for back when I forgot to restock my usual diaper bag. utterly useless. I’m not sure how they work any better than regular diapers in a pool but I buy them anyway because they are required for non potty trained kids.
Twitter Name: litlsuzzy
Sarah, swim diapers don’t puff up in the water like a regular diaper would.
Yep. They don’t absorb. That’s why you use them in water.
Twitter Name: Im_Wendy
Don’t worry about it. Some day that company’s diapers will take a crap on you, too. Literally. Like you’ll be driving to visit friends who live 500 miles away and halfway there, one of those adorable babies will have explosive diarrhea up the back and all over the carseat and you’ll be having to change clothes and clean a baby and a baby’s shit off your shirt in a public restroom, hanging over a sink with no one to help (because your husband can’t come in to the ladies room)and you’ll be really glad you cashed in on those free swim diapers that time last year. So don’t worry about. Just sayin’.
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo
You’re my new bff.
Twitter Name: tamarasmo
Well PS new BFF, I hope that shit never happens to you in a car or on a train or on a plane, but you know, it can. So I didn’t want you to feel guilty about those free diapers.
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo
That is the kind of thing that would so happen to me.
Twitter Name: Janie Snelson
I’m sure the brand you used disappointed someone else somewhere along the way who didn’t complain so you know, it all evens out.
Rationalizations…I totally win at them.
Twitter Name: izzymom
How do so many parents NOT KNOW that swim diapers are designed only to keep turds out of pools? I’m astonished by this.
I’m a new mom of twins. Believe you me, there’s plenty I don’t know. Astonishes me, too.
Twitter Name: tamarasmo
Oh and just put a regular diaper over the swim diaper while you’re in transit to the pool/beach then all you have to do is pull it out from under the swimsuit when you get there.
Brilliant!
oopS!!! I used to have to buy these Swimmers in advance here while there was no sign of swimming because the stores never have enough.
Whoops x2
1 for the wrong company and 2 because swim diapers don’t absorb. It’s so they don’t get puffy and disintegrate into the pool like a regular diaper would.
So the first company didn’t really fail in the first place.
Twitter Name: thepsychobabble
Yet the item description reads, “double cuff to protect against leaks.” Next time I’ll drape them in glad cling wrap and call it a day.
Twitter Name: tamarasmo
well, color me surprised. I’ve never seen a swim diaper make that claim before. My apologies, I guess?
Twitter Name: thepsychobabble
That’s so the POOP doesn’t leak, not the pee.