I called the cops on two girls because they made fun of my hair.
Let me explain.
Nothing makes me more upset than terrible drivers. I’m not talking about people that miss an exit, or drive a little too slow in the fast lane. I’m talking about people who text while doing 80mph. Or people who miss an exit and then BACK UP on the highway to correct their mistake (a Rhode Island staple, that one). Or people who run stop signs because they’re too busy digging around the floor of their car for the French fry they dropped.
I spend most of my time on a college campus, so I’m around these types of drivers 90% of the time.
A few weeks ago, I was leaving school and driving down the main road. A black car with two teenage girls inside was parked on the curb, and swerved out in front of me without a blinker. Not a world ending occurrence, but a dick move all the same. I beeped lightly, just to let them know I was there, because hey! maybe since you swerved out in front of me you DIDN’T SEE ME YOU USELESS BAG OF –
So I honked, and out came the fingers. They were throwing fingers out of the windows, the sun roof, inside the car, out of the tailpipe – it was a Fuck You Festival! Just because of my little beep. I let it go.
Then they started making fun of my hair.
I hate to break it to you, but my hair is awesome. I rock an afro, and with my alarmingly tall stature and stunning natural beauty (matched only by my humble and sarcastic demeanor), I am probably the best thing you’re going to see all day. But THESE motherfuckers started holding their hands out to the sides of their heads, making faces, and laughing.
I waited a beat.
And then I called the cops.
To be fair, I called the cops because the driver was erratic and reckless. She was driving really fast through a school zone right at the time kids got out of school, and trying to pass people on a double-lined road. She was driving like a dick.
The fact that she was also ACTING like a dick didn’t win her any favors.
I followed the car while I had the cops on the line, and described the make/model while giving the license plate. A police officer parked nearby was radioed, and pulled them over within a few minutes. The look on their faces as I drove by (very, very slowly) was priceless.
I don’t think I overreacted. But I do think that I need to start taking the bus.