Being a parent really sucks sometimes.
Going into it I knew parenthood would occasionally be a bitch, for lack of a better word. I knew there would be periods of my children’s lives that would make me regret ever having used my lady parts – the ages 12 to 17, for instance. Having two daughters I am aware that period of time is going to either bring me closer to Jesus (as it did my mother) or closer to Jack Daniels and since I don’t believe in the former except as an historical figure, I’m guessing the later and I will become well acquainted.
But six years into it and I’m continually floored by normal yet still unexpected hurdles in my kids’ development.
Take the pacifier…
(No really, take my kid’s pacifier. Please.)
My husband and I recently decided it was time for my youngest daughter, who is on the cusp of three years old, to give up her beloved Paci. She had chewed through every one she had, and there were many, and on principle I decided I was not going to buy any more. We knew the day was coming that she and the pacifier would part ways so months before we introduced our daughter to the idea of the Paci Fairy. She who comes in the middle of the night to take the pacifiers* left out by the big boys and girls who no longer need them and then brings those pacifiers to brand new babies who really need them. And in turn leaves a gift for the original owner of the pacifier as a way of thanking them for continuing the circle of pacifier life.**
Every damn day we talked about the Paci Fairy – what she looked like, what she might bring as a gift, where we should leave the pacifiers so she could easily find them – and then last week, with my daughter’s blessing, we took away the pacifier… For five minutes, and until she nearly hyperventilated and declared she was not in fact a big girl but still very much a baby.
My oldest daughter hated pacifiers so she never had one so we were flying blind here. Don’t hate me for my weakness around teeny tiny squalling with big brown eyes and the saddest wailing you ever heard. Feel free to call me a sucker but don’t hate.
Fast forward to two days ago. The glorious midday nap now mostly a pleasant memory, I set out to tire the ever living do-do out of my little darling. Two trips to the park, lots of play time, and a late night at the softball field and I thought for sure she would be so exhausted she would sleep as soon as her head hit the Pillow Pet and she wouldn’t even notice her pacifier was missing. But before you think I was completely off my rocker, I did ask her if she wanted to give it up that night and she said yes. She was a big girl, my youngest proudly declared, and big girls don’t use pacifiers. And I walked out of her room patting myself on the back for my superior parenting skills.
This is the part where I wait for you to finish laughing at my incredible naivety.
Of course it didn’t go that easy. Of course she wanted the damn thing back, holes and all. Of course she declared herself a baby again. She was willing to give up ice cream and birthday cake and multiple viewings of Dora the constantly screaming Explorer (Because babies don’t partake in any of those things. Obviously.) in return for that freaking pacifier. She was like a broken POW who was water boarded one too many times. Give up government secrets? You betcha, buddy. As long as you give me my sucky thing.
I won’t bother you with the rest of the gory details but I will tell you tonight will be Day 4 with no pacifier. The Paci Fairy came after the first night with glitter and gifts and every morning my little girl wakes up very proud of herself. Okay cranky, but still proud.
I’m also proud of myself. It was hard (still is hard, she hasn’t totally given up on it) but my husband and I worked as a team to get our daughter and ourselves over this difficult hurdle. It was tough on all of us but we got through it and we’re stronger for it. Up next – boys and mean girls!
In the meantime, I’ll be over here in the corner sucking my thumb.
* Refurbished, of course. Who wants a jacked up pacifier?
** Work with me here. I’m going on three days of no sleep.
About ChickyBaby
“… I’ll be over here in the corner sucking my thumb.”
Will that be, in fact, a substitute for a pacifier?
Twitter Name: lceel
Let’s hope not. Can’t take that away from her.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
Wow, that there is SKILL!! I really am surprised at the paci-fairy idea – it is BRILLIANT! The closest situation I have had with this is bottle feeding kittens, when they chewed through the nipple they went to solid food. I pray I won’t have to use that same ideal when breast feeding.. OUCH!
Twitter Name: fluteitup
Well, toddlers are pretty similar to untamed, feral cats so you should be fine.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
Just pray to the binky fairy that she doesn’t find a hidden one. My son did after a week…and let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant.
Toddlers are funny. Mine will skateboard, jump off tall buildings and talks as well as most boys a year older than him. However, he may go to kindergarten in a diaper and still sleeping in a crib. “mama, I big, but not dat big”. Uh huh.
Twitter Name: Issascrazyworld
The evening I saved this post my father in law put her to bed, found a beaten up, chewed to bits pacifier tucked under some old clothes on top of her dresser and gave it to her. Yep.
So I sneaked into her room around midnight, took it from her and she slept the rest of the night and the next two without it. I win.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
You do win. I did that, the stealing at midnight. He cried for it for the following three nights.
However, we are about 9 weeks post binky and all seems to be okay.
Twitter Name: Issascrazyworld
You are a brave mommy. I have the exact situation. My daughter turns 3 July 15th. She only sleeps with her bink at night. I tried it one night last week and neither of us got any rest. I love the bink fairy idea. Gonna give it a try. GO MOMS!!!!
This is how we tore the “binky” away from #3 after the first two didn’t even try.
#3 was over 4yo (excuse was we went thru leukemia treatment.)
We took her to Build-A-Bear where she picked out the bear of her dreams, stuffed it, and in the hand we had them stick her last binky.
It got sewn up, got a cute outfit.
She still sleeps with that bear.
She rubs it’s hand at the dr’s.
But no more in-the-mouth.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Um, could have used this useful info LAST week, Anissa. Sheesh.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
My 2 y/o son wasn’t too attached to the nuke, until a few weeks ago, I think I missed an oppertunity for it to go ‘missing’. I’ve met moms who cut small hole in it, but I’d be concerned about them chewing pieces off, choking hazard?
You’ve got some seriously rockin’ mommy skillz there. That whole paci fairy idea was GENIUS. Seriously genius. If my kids didn’t hate the paci so much, I would totally steal that from you.
Twitter Name: coolwhipmom
My son is 29 now but when he was 3 we bribed did I say bribe? I mean promised him a bubble lawn mower, remember them? We told him the Easter Bunny took his nummies to give them to other little babies in their Easter baskets. Hey what can I say…it worked.
Dude- the paci fairy came to our house last week too. Suck-tastic. After 4 hours of hysterics the first night, the kid suggested that we call the fairy back and have her fix the busted one. It’s been a week- she just took her first nap and I have completely emptied my wine rack. I hope the worst is over.