Six words that saved my life this morning: We’re putting the crib back together. It’s been about three weeks since we converted Henry’s crib into a bed and two weeks since anyone in this house has gotten a decent night’s sleep. We have a routine. Paci in, cloud blankie on his lap, baby doll tucked safely under his chubby arm, we read one story and sing one song before bed. Except, since he’s been sleeping in a BED, he pops right back up after laying down for five minutes and comes waddling out into the livingroom, grinning at me.
I’ll pick him up and he’ll cry and wail and shake his head and yell, NOOOOOOO! I’ll put him in his bed and leave. And! Five minutes later? He comes waddling out with that same grin onhis face, sure that I will be delighted to see him. Oh! Henry! I will say, clapping my hands with delight, It’s time for our 11:30 PM tower-building session! Grab those blocks! Here! Have some candy! Except, here’sthe thing: I NEVER say that. I ALWAYS frown at him and march his butt back to bed. And he ALWAYS cries. And ALWAYS, five minutes later, he comes out AGAIN, grinning, expecting a warm welcome. Does he just not have any short-term memory? Is that something you have to develop? Because I’m pretty sure I was born with mine. Also, for the last fourteen (thousand) nights, I have woken up to this almost every hour:
HE JUST STARES AT ME. He stands next to my bed or sits on my pillow, staring straight into my soul with those bright, shiny eyes. Grinning with those sharp little teeth. Trying to drive me crazy. Last night after giving up on the possibility that I might just let him stand next to me and watch me while I slept, he started going into Ruby’s room and waking HER up. And then they would both run into our room shrieking demands, begging us to just let them lie next to us and jam their pointy little elbows right into the center of our backs incessantly. This morning Tony and I rolled out of bed and tried to talk this problem out. The easiest and quickest thing to do, we thought, would just be to fake our own deaths. (I think we were going to fake it. I don’t know. I don’t remember. I am so tired.) Somewhere between the second and third cup of coffee this was seeming less and less realistic, so Tony offered to put the crib back together. THE CRIB! THE BABY CAGE! The thing he can’t crawl out of! I am so excited to go to bed tonight. And also he is going to sleep in that crib until he’s 12.
I’m going to go take a goddamn nap.
Kelly Quirino turned 30 this year and she’s angry about it. She’s also trying this thing where she pretends to not take herself seriously and hoping that it will eventually come true. You can find her blogging at http://gogozen.blogspot.com.
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What? He can’t climb out of the crib? Does it have a lid or something? I so needed one of those when mine were toddling.
Poor Henry. Although I will admit to the possibility that he’s not as charming in the middle of the night as he appears in that picture.
Twitter Name: handflapper
LMFAO Omg this cracked me up.
Twitter Name: fuzzyxpanda
I have a cat who does the staring and sitting on pillow thing. He’s cute but not in the sweet way your little pillow sitter is. He also won’t stay in a crib, or behind closed doors. Not without waking the neighborhood. Sending positive thoughts for a good night sleep tonight–for all! :)
Yeah. Same thing happened to us. Put the crib back up and BAM! he turned into a ninja. I think that he learned how to use the internet while he had all that freedom and googled 1) how to scale the sides of my crib while screaming, 2) how to fake sleeping while my mom checked on me 5 minutes before she went to bed and then enter her room screaming about 4 seconds after she entered REM sleep, and 3) how to remove every single bookmark from the stack of books on her bedside table just to drive her crazy.
So, good luck with that.
P.S. A crib with a lid is a FANTASTIC idea.
Twitter Name: DTKMMeLookCrazy
Been there and done that. NOT fun! Hopefully he will be like my three and never really figure out the climbing out part ;)
Nicely written! How can you resist that cute little face and adorable smile? Ah yes, sleep deprivation – my familiar nemesis.
Hope the crib solves the problem!
My 3 year old sleep walks into our room at night and just stands there or climbs in. Doesn’t say a thing. Freaks me out!
Elle
Twitter Name: seemomwork
Also! Elle! I find it very easy to resist that smile. VERY.
Twitter Name: mmesurly
Just wondering…why did you take him out of the crib in the first place? We kept ours in until the first had to vacate for a sister needing the crib (by then he was about to turn 3) and the 2nd just liked it so she stayed in there long past friends and family thought she should but why mess with a good thing? Neither ever complained, asked about a bed or attempted to climb out? As long as they still fit….they can stay!
Twitter Name: HeatherSchiavo
Heather, I took him out because I’m dumb!
His big sister has slept in a big girl bed since she was 18 months old without incident, and I NATURALLY assumed that Poor Henry would do the exact same thing, which he…didn’t.
I have no problem cribbing this boy until at least middle school.
Twitter Name: mmesurly
I love that Meri compared Henry to a CAT… a quiet, can barely hear walking anywhere animal…. Clearly she hasn’t read any of your other posts! Let me know if Henry starts meowing.
Many a night, my then-toddler passed out in her sleep sack, clutching her blankie and her baby, just behind the baby-gate we installed in her doorway. Eventually she figured out that the bed was more comfortable :)
My oldest (6) would do exactly what you describe when we travelled without our crib. He was in his crib until he was 4 and a half and it was, you know, small for him (he is tall). His sister is 3 and could climb out of her crib if she wanted to (she has been climbing in for months) but we keep saying that in our house, when you are 4 you get a big bed. From what I gather developmentally it’s sometime between 3 and 4 that they understand the concept of staying in a bed – without walls. As for lids – I am a big fan of the crib tent. neighbors just had to pick one up for their almost 2 year old who decided the crib was no longer the best spot for her. Its a great, safe product! They paid for one and were given another off freecycle from another parent who needed sleep.
I remember the waddling out of the bedroom with the big grin SO WELL. I don’t know how many times a night I would put my son back in his bed but it seemed like dozens and it went on for probably a month at least. But we had no choice…he would launch himself over the edge of his crib and invariably land on the floor in some painful manner. The baby cage was a non-option…but eventually he gave up and I WON! *does victory lap around blog*
Twitter Name: izzymom