It’s a story as old as time – Boy meets Girl, Boy falls in love with Girl, Boy and Girl get married. Boy waits until the ring is on the Girl’s finger before displaying his nasty habits in front of the Girl. Girl threatens death by poisoned dinner if Boy doesn’t knock it off. Boy repents and promises never to repeat the nastiness that sickened the Girl. Boy has a lapse and Girl is once again disgusted. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I’m not usually one for trashing my husband on the internet – I mean, I’ll mention silly things here and there but usually I’m not one to air our dirty laundry for the world to read.
Until today.
I’m tired of begging, pleading, nagging and threatening. There comes a time in every person’s life when they’ve got to take the bull by the horns and do what they have to with the horns. Today, my friends, is the day for public humiliation.
Do you have any idea what that is (Besides an ugly couch.)? No? Let’s take a closer look.
How about now? I think you have an idea but let’s see what happens if I do this.
Really? REALLY?
I want to preface this next bit with this: I love my husband. We make beautiful babies together. He handles the lawn mowing and the snow blowing because he knows that heavy machinery scares me. He’s wicked smart, too. And when I’m in a bad mood he’ll willingly make an ass out of himself to cheer me up with the most ridiculous soft shoe routine ever.
But.
Please can someone, anyone, tell me why an intelligent, educated man who is well-respected among his colleagues and has two beautiful, smart young girls who look up to him, not to mention a wife who willingly washes his dirty socks and keeps the home fires burning on a VERY regular basis while he flies off to another business meeting while said beautiful, doting wife all on her own cares for the home and children and somewhat flatulent dog…
Ahem. Where was I? Right.
WHY would a man who has all that feel the need to leave his TOENAIL CLIPPINGS ON THE EDGE OF THE COUCH FOR HIS WIFE TO PICK UP??
So I say this with love to my husband:
I’m sorry I had to put this on the internet but you’ve been asked repeatedly to knock that shit off. I don’t want to smother you in your sleep (see: babies, heavy machinery, soft shoe) so you left me this only option. This is coming from the woman who cleans your underwear – Dude, that is just nasty.
About ChickyBaby
he forgot them. It’s simple, he did this and was watching something? and left them, he doesn’t remember he put them there, he probably due to wtaching TV doesn’t even remember the clipping/biting. I feel your pain, I do. I’ve got one too.
My husband does this, but leaves his clippings ON THE FLOOR! He sits at the edge of our bed and lets them land where they fall. It boggles my mind sometimes, the things that guys do. My husband also does other, grosser stuff, and I didn’t know about a single one of them before we married!
Ewwww! My dad kept dental floss in the drawer of the coffee table and would floss in the living room. He’d then leave it on the table for my mom to clean up. She just left him after 40 years. Feel free to show this comment to Nasty McNasterson.
Twitter Name: suitcasetricks
I knew what it was right away. And have felt your pain.
And speaking of smothering him in his sleep, I’ve got a man joke:
What does it mean when a man is in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You’re not holding the pillow down hard enough.
Doooooh! And that’s all folks!!
I guess it could have been worse, they could have been large buggers :-)
My guy clips his over the bathtub and just leaves them in there until I clean the bathroom. He’s got a nasty toenail fungus so it is extra-icky!
Speaking of large boogers, that’s my man. Oh and we have a 4 month old who lays on the floor that my man tosses them onto.
Nice.
My ex used to put his on this little table that was in front of the couch. Lovely. Oh and on occation he was “trying” to not be so gross he would put them on a dish (that he’d just finish eating food off of) so that according to him “they could just be dumped in the trash”. Except the problem is that he’d not take his dish to the sink. So there I was taking his used food dish with toe clippings on it into the kitchen. Needless to say, this is not the reason we are no longer together and why I let him keep the plates.
The love of my life also does this to me.
*barf*
It just makes no sense to me. I mean, he HAS to walk by the garbage bin on the way from the couch to anywhere else in the house.
Makes me want to fill a sock with my own clippings and smack him over the head with it. Though that would take way too long to collect.
Twitter Name: letmestart
Yeah, that’s disgusting. I would never get away with that shit. Actually, I wouldn’t want anyone to have to see the trimmings of my gnarled talons. It’s not something I’m proud of.
Hilarious and disgusting at the same time! I am sure men are from another planet! Thanks for making me LOL!
Twitter Name: mummyinprovence
Brilliant! This is so truly disgusting whether on the floor or a shared sitting area. The up-close photo grossed me out, but had me laughing hysterically!
Twitter Name: monkeysmama
Pretty gross, but not as bad as dingleberries and short hairs left behind on the toilet seat. He’s gotten quite a bit better about it in the past year, but there are still occasional lapses, ugh.
Twitter Name: Kristina Knight
Oh fok, that wasn’t supposed to have my twitter handle on it.
Twitter Name: Kristina Knight
He had it coming. I’m surprised he doesn’t just blame it on a dog or a kid. That’s what my dad used to do when he farted. Funny, b/c we didn’t have a dog.
Twitter Name: fairlyoddmother
It must be a male thing. I have one who does the same thing.
Twitter Name: penbleth
Hilarious, I mean gross. I’m only laughing because my husband does the same thing…but its the bathroom sink where i find this. Apperently when he is doing business he like to give him self a pedicure.
Twitter Name: 30onmom
My brother does something similar. While we sit around and visit, he loungese on the couch and picks his toes. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it, but all I see is his giant foot and his fingers digging around and that sound *nit…pic….nit…*
Twitter Name: lucynamackay
My husband does one worse – he bites and EATS his fingernails. He has no nail on his right thumb from biting it. It makes me want to gag…
What is it with men and nail clippings?! Mine trims his nails over the sink and just leaves them all over the countertop. I had no idea that I should have been considering myself lucky. :(
Twitter Name: LisaACOTA
Seriously… WTF?!?! A smart guy would have let them just fly through the air so they were all spread out and not noticeable. Men these days…
Are we married to the same guy?! LOL. Except my husband also leaves a pile of chewed sunflower seed halves in a pile on the coffee table as well as the toe nail clippings. And he picks the skin off his feet. And it grosses me out and reminds me that boys really are just gross. And I still love him. :D