I met LL Cool J. Here’s photographic evidence!

In the depths of our dusty basements & musty closets & messy ass junk drawers lie piles of photographic treasures.

They’re like thoroughly embarrassing time capsules that we unearth from time to time.

They help give us perspective & insight on where we’ve been & how far we’ve come.

They remind us of what our bodies looked like before stretch marks & crows feet & unwanted chin hair.

They allow us to recognize what a terrible idea it is to be the drunk bridesmaid that ends up rolling on the floor with the bride’s sweaty panties tucked in your cleavage.

They give us an abundance of shit to blog about!

I dug my box out of the basement in search of this one particular photo. The one that I have been meaning to scan & upload & crop & share with the Earth. The one of me & LL Cool J. 

This Lady Loves Cool James

Keep in mind, this was more than 10 years ago hence my baby face & LL’s unsexy crustache.

My boyfriend at the time & I went to go see him at Manifest music store in Columbia, SC where he was promoting this Boyz II Men type of singing group. We nervously waited in line with our shell toe Adidas on & when it was our turn to meet & greet, I walked up to the table & the dude totally checked me out. I mean, a serious head to toe once over. He probably does this to everybody but it made me feel violated & tingly all at the same time. I didn’t know what the hell to SAY. He was looking me straight in the eyes & I wanted to tell him that I knew all the words to “Doin’ It” & that he was the one responsible for turning me on to the glory that is rap music & all I could muster up was “You make me giggle.” He threw his head back & laughed like he was trying to get away from a shark on “Deep Blue Sea” & then proceeded to make all the other women in line have to change their panties by licking his lips.

This photo was taken right after that. Could I be grinning any harder?

It’s a moment that I’ll never forget. And now I get to share it with you because I scanned my photographic evidence in with my super awesome HP All-In-One Printer. All you have to do is plug it in with the included USB cord, lay your precious photos face down & follow the instructions on the touch screen. It’s so EZPZ, it’s insane.

Then you can upload them to facebook & embarrass the shit out of your mom! Yay! Fun!

Or you can even print them out & send them via snail mail. That way both you & your homey can have a copy to frame & cry over!

Scanning your shit  (literal shit is not recommended) is beneficial in so many different ways. Here are a few that I thought of (after I did a shot of vodka because I accidentally deleted a whole draft to this post):

• Scan important documents, like your birth certificate or your wedding license for easy accessibility on your computer.
• Scan the moles on your body so you can keep track of their growth! Your dermatologist will thank you. Your loved ones might gag.
• Scan your credit cards, license & passport just in case they are lost or stolen when you’re traveling.
• Scan your butt in case you haven’t tried that yet!
• Scan the pages in your old diary & really show the world just how much of a self absorbed, boy-crazy asshole you really are!

The options are endless. So, go out there & uncover your pre-digital photos & what not & scan that shit in! The world is waiting to see your treasures!

Thank you, Hewlett Packard people for making electronics that even I can figure out & for being cool enough to want to work with bloggers who make vagina jokes & of course, for making this post possible.