Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite place in the entire world is the spa.
I even have a favorite spa (The Ritz Carlton Grande Lakes Orlando), because I am that much of a wanna-be pampered princess.
I do not, unfortunately, have the lifestyle or household budget to allow frequent trips to the spa. And by frequent I mean weekly, because that’s how often I think I should be able to go. I firmly believe that if everyone spent a day each week at a wonderful spa, we would finally have world peace.
Now that I think of it, this post just might qualify me for next year’s Nobel Peace Prize.
Ladies and Gentleman, My Plan for World Peace:
(Or, How to Give Yourself a Weekly Spa Experience at Home:)
1. Lock your doors. You can skip this step if you don’t have children or a spouse.
2. Hot bath in a dark room. Light whatever candles you can find and turn down the lights. Don’t be ashamed to use the Unity candle from your wedding if that’s what’s available. World peace is at stake.
3. Exfoliate the body. I recommend mixing a little brown sugar with a little olive oil. Just a tiny bit of both goes a long way. I also recommend leaving the clean up to your spouse until later.
4. Put on a robe. Something about lounging around in a robe with your nether bits blowing in the breeze feels so decadent.
5. Wash your face. Yes, you just got out of the bath, but take the time to pull out the actual facial cleansers and wash away the sweat and grime.
6. Exfoliate your face. You can use a little brown sugar and oil here as well. Don’t have brown sugar? Why not? What do you have against brown? OK, fine, you can make due with any type of coarse product. I’ve used sea salt.
7. Steam. You have a couple options here, both of which are free. The first option is to heat up a bowl of water in the microwave, and then hold your face over the bowl while tenting the bowl and your head with a towel. The second option is to wet a washcloth with hot water and just press it to your face a few times.
8. Put on a mask. There are all kinds of kitchen products you can use to make a mask, including guacamole.
9. Just lay the hell down. This is my favorite part. The mask needs time to work, obviously, so I lay down on my bed. That’s it. The lights are low, the meditation channel is playing on Pandora, and I’m just laying in my bed in a robe with gunk on my face. And it is fabulous.
If you’d like, you can improvise a little bit at this point by encouraging a loved one to be helpful while remaining silent. On occasion, while I’m laying in bed with my mask on, I’ll have my husband paint my toenails. Fair warning: do not request this weekly and be prepared to do some major ego stroking before and after your treatment. Additional warning: do not attempt this with children. They cannot be quiet. At all. Which is probably why you need a spa day in the first place.
Now, does anyone know when the Nobel prize winners are announced? I want to make sure the committee has my most recent address.
About Britt Reints
you are officially nominated for the peace prize. congrats!
Twitter Name: hellohahanarf
I like this idea. Next time I have a day off without the husband I think I’ll give it a spin. However, I’m also imagining the look on my husband’s face when I ask him to paint my toenails. I think it’s followed by obnoxious laughter, immediately followed thereafter by an enthusiastic, “FUCK no!”
Twitter Name: MonsteRawr
My husband loves the idea of not paying for pedicures. lol
Twitter Name: missbritt
HaHa! LOVE IT! I need a spa day in the worst possible way! Good tips mixed with humor = great morning read!
Twitter Name: phasesofme
I’ve asked my husband to paint my toenails, and he actually agreed, but then I went into the bathroom (which he painted … poorly) to get polish and thought better of it.
I’ll do the spa bit at home, but don’t take away mah pedicure!
coffee grounds in olive oil work to exfoliate, too. that saves the brown sugar for num-nummy spa snackages
Twitter Name: SeekingOrion
YES! Have used that too, but always find they’re a pain to clean up.
Twitter Name: missbritt
Yes, cleanup is gross. I just bring a wash cloth into the shower with me and do a quick wipe after I’ve scraped it all off. I like to think that it stains my skin a little bit darker too. It doesn’t but still convinces me that it’s worth the mess! :)
Twitter Name: SeekingOrion
I am in love with this post and am going to implement it as soon as possible.My Big Guy is only home on weekends & this weekend we have a house full of visitors for the Rapture..I mean, my 4 year olds birthday party. And next weekend is Memorial day weekend scheduled to clean the garage and then we are moving but AS SOON As the next moment I can relax..I am SO doing this!
Twitter Name: Truthfulmommy
This is one of my FAVORITE ways to spend an evening after a particularly long or taxing day at work. I’ve not mixed the brown sugar with olive oil but I do sometimes mix raw sugar with aloe and it does the same sort of thing.
And ladies… here’s a little hint… if you happen to be married to an engineer, (or someone equally tedious and detail-obsessed) they are EXCELLENT “eyebrow-shapers”. (And if my husband ever reads this he will probably melt of embarrassment.)
Twitter Name: badkittybakery
And let’s be honest – is there anything more adorable than a man helping you with your personal grooming routines?
P.P.S Men are WAY better shavers than women. *ahem*
Twitter Name: missbritt
Absolutely agree. I would recommend that if the husband does not agree to the toenail painting, try asking for a massage or a foot rub. I think they’re more likely to say yes to that! Olive oil helps with it too :)
The robe thing? Truer words, yo, truer words have never been spoken.
I use a mixture of coarse kosher salt, sugar and lemon juice for the scrub. Let it sit in the shower with you for a couple of minutes to absorb some moisture before using. Works great and there’s no oil to clog your razor afterward.
Oh, and baking soda is great for facial exfoliation. Very gentle.
Can you tell I’ve done this before? ;)
Twitter Name: msmegan
That is brilliant. Must try.
But what happens if, while you’re lying there, your child wakes up from a nap? Or starts banging on the door? Is it ok to ignore them for five more minutes? 10 more? (I don’t have kids yet, so I genuinely don’t know the answer to that question.)
Twitter Name: ASeriousGirl