As a native Alabama girl, I’ve been very emotional recently as I watched the recovery efforts following the tornadoes in the South. I’ve heard countless stories of survivors from my friends and family and they have touched my heart.
A few nights ago, my husband was working so I was doing the bedtime and bath time routine with all three girls on my own. Emma, my four-year-old was coughing her head off. I went to get the medicine to give her a breathing treatment from its hiding place. (Emma thoroughly enjoys squirting the medicine out of the small plastic vial so I have to keep them out of her reach.) When I went to get the last one and found it missing, I had no doubts as to where it went. Emma was sent to her room for a timeout and when I went to check on her after putting my two-year-old to bed, Emma was curled up like a cat, fast asleep.
I plopped on the couch with Aubrey, my six-year-old and told her it was time for bed.
“But Momma,” she said, “I really want to spend some time with you.”
I flipped the TV off. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”
“Tell me a story from when you were little. Did you have TV when you were a kid? ”
“I can do you one better than that,” I said, grabbing an old photo album off of the shelf. Her face lit up as I opened it to a picture of my mother holding me in the hospital. I was only a few hours old.
“Aww! Momma you were so little! Who is holding you?”
“That’s Shuggie,” I said, referring to her grandmother. “Who did you think it was?”
“I thought it was you. It looks just like you!”
“You thought that was me holding myself?” I asked.
“Well, I just didn’t know!” She giggled.
We flipped the page and she saw me talking on a red rotary dial phone. Aubrey gasped.
“WHAT is that thing? A phone?”
“Yep.”
“Did you have to put your finger in that circle thingy and turn it around?” She asked.
“Yes, but we had phones with buttons too.” I said, as if phones with actual buttons were any less lame to her than a rotary dial phone.
“Like a calculator?!” She was incredulous.
I sighed. This was getting more interesting by the moment. We flipped another page and Aubrey squinted at my feet.
“Are you wearing Crocs, Momma?”
I glanced at the photo, “No, those are jelly shoes.”
“What are those?”
I scratched my head. “We’re still trying to figure that out.”
“Tell me another story about you. I don’t want to just look at the pictures,” Aubrey said.
I turned a few pages and found what I was looking for: The Haircut. The Dorothy Hamill haircut to be more specific. If you don’t know, wow do I feel old, and Dorothy Hamill was an Olympic figure skater in the late 70s and a national figure into the 80s. She had what was essentially a bowl cut. It was super chic back in the day, and her thin, fine hair lay in perfect layers around her face.
My mother convinced me that I needed this haircut and we drove to the salon and I got my hair whacked off. My hair which is extremely thick and naturally curly. I sat in the hairdresser’s chair and sobbed. Consequently, I did not smile in a picture for about the next two years.
(Don’t I look absolutely thrilled? How rockin’ is that collar? Excuse me, but the Pilgrims called and they want their dress back.Thank you Olan Mills for your mad photo skillz.)
Aubrey was perplexed. “But why did you hate your hair Momma?”
“Because! I looked like a boy.”
She ducked her head and started giggling. “I’m sorry Momma, but you did look like a boy!”
The hour I spent on the couch laughing with my daughter was exactly what I needed after a stressful week of single motherhood and heartbreaking stories. It was worth every bad haircut and fashion faux-pas that I rocked in the 80s. It was also exactly what I deserved for asking my mother when I was a child if she had Coke and M&Ms when she was little.
Okay, SPILL it. What was your worst fashion faux-pas growing up and have your kids totally shamed you for it yet?
Robin O’Bryant is a stay-at-home-mother to three daughters born within four years, she has recently learned where babies come from and gotten herself under control. Robin survives the drama and hilarity of motherhood by making fun of herself in her self-syndicated family humor column, Robin’s Chicks, which runs 8 newspapers in three states across the Southeast and on her blog by the same name. Her two awesome manuscripts are represented by Jenny Bent of The Bent Agency and are FOR SALE. CAN YOU SEE THIS PUBLISHERS??
About Comic Relief Roster
I had the Dorothy Hammill hair cut too, but I had the stick straight fine hair for it. Unfortunately, the hairdresser, who was more than a little flamboyant, convinced my mom to let him put a “halo” of peach colored hair dye around the top of my head of brown hair, so that it would always “look shiny.” No. It looked like a peach colored circle around the top of my head until it grew out.
I hated you until you said “peach colored hair dye!!”
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Because I love you
http://www.flickr.com/photos/anisssamayhew/3275698166/
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I want to bring big hair back. I have awesome big hair.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Somehow I missed the picture when I initially read this article. I LOVE YOUR LITTLE FACE in the Dorothy Hammill shot…and your collar!!
Hello to a fellow Bama girl.I also had the Hamill cut (did not look good)and wide collars. I’m from Albertville in northeast Bama. Enjoy your blog.
You’re too nice, Kasey. That is Aubrey’s face fo shizz.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Heeeeeey Gurl! Hope you and all your family was safe from the storms! I’m giving away a shirt on the blog this week.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
My cousin Genevieve was one week into beauty classes in high school and took a scissor to my long blond hair. She decided to do a Goldie Hawn from the show “Laugh In” kind of short hair style on me. I was 8 years old at the time- hardly a fashion plate in the play ground friends!!
My parents hit the roof. It took months to grow out and a few trips to the beauty shop to fix! Oh brother what a mess of trouble she got in
My kids have cut each other’s hair before but it’s always been a little snip here or there. We have never tried to give each other a whole new ‘do. Now I’m skeered.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Oh, such a sweet post!!
Twitter Name: annsrants
It’s been so much fun seeing my oldest grow up this year. And to REALLY laugh with her. She makes jokes and is so smart. It’s not just laughing when somebody “fluffs” anymore. Of course we still laugh when ANYBODY farts.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
I absolutely loved reading this! I smiled and laughed the entire time. Fortunately, Riley isn’t asking questions about my childhood quite yet. It won’t be long though. You were right.. this is exactly what we all need right now!
I’m glad Chasidy! It felt almost disrespectful of the loss of life to write and be funny and flippant. But sometimes you just need to laugh at something, or SOMEONE. So, here we are. Aiming Low is full of people you can laugh at, or with. I don’t care and neither do they. We just want you to smile, and maybe pee your pants just a little.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Oh…. I rocked the Dorothy Hammill hair cut also. From like Kindergarten until 5th grade. My mama couldn’t let it go… ha! Also, to keep with the collar theme. I remember having collars that were not aattached that I could just simply add to any dress, sweater, shirt, that needed “dressing-up”. Which was often for the North Alabama girl… Oh, I still shudder to think of it!
I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THOSE COLLARS!!! I had several of them too! And they were awesome because you didn’t have to worry about your shirt riding up underneath your sweater.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
I have so many fashion mistakes I don’t know where to begin. I had jelly shoes also, but worn with my Madonna socks. You know the kind with the huge multicolored ribbons and bows on the side. Getting permed bangs was not the brightest idea I ever had.Leopard printed biking shorts come to mind in a purple sheen, worn with high top rebock’s!
We actually found a rotary telephone in my grandmother’s garage the other day and she said she couldn’t throw it away because she was paying rent on it. My ears perked up “What!?” Through some company for the hearing impaired since 1986 she was “renting” this phone. I called and told them she wanted their agreement terminated and they should be ashamed. I asked the girl do you have a grandmother? Would you let her rent a rotary phone sinc 1986? And she said we rent a large amount of those! I was very mad. Lastly, any airbrushed shirt from the 80′s was not a good idea. I mean how many did they sale that said ” PCB” followed by a name and the year in hot pink! Good times lol!
Alonna I totally hear you!! And I had a family member who had a grandmother who was renting a phone for YEARS from the phone company. She didn’t want to get a new one because it was powder blue and matched her bedding. Seriously.
My grandmother had a “party line” until the phone company called her and told her she couldn’t have one anymore. And she. Was. Pissed.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Three words…gauchos + disco bags. Enough said.
Twitter Name: izzymom
My mental picture is pretty vivid, but OH what I wouldn’t give to see the real deal.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
My children have seen the picture from my middle school yearbook in which I am wearing an untucked, wrinkled dress shirt with a skinny plaid tie, and I am carrying a unicorn purse. My hair was feathered then, which went oh so nicely with my ginormous glasses.
I have a photo album on FB subtitled “a catalog of bad hair and ill advised fashion choices.” Acid washed jeans, spiral perms, you name it.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren
My mom insists on keeping the worst family photo ever on her bookcase. I had a horrific fuzzy perm and braces. My brother Adam was rocking a mullet. The kids always ask me why I had “crazy hair” which is our word for bed head. I didn’t want to tell them mommy actually meant for hair to look like that.
Oh, Lord, I did the Dorothy, too.
I looked like the Sphinx. The angry, broken-out, kinky-haired Sphinx.
*sob*
(But you look great. No, really.)
~ A.
Twitter Name: AnnaLefler
I wanted to send a brief remark to be able to say thanks to you for some of the magnificent hints you are sharing at this website. My incredibly long internet look up has now been rewarded with high-quality know-how to share with my friends. I would state that that most of us site visitors actually are unequivocally blessed to live in a great network with so many marvellous professionals with great points. I feel very fortunate to have come across your entire web site and look forward to some more exciting minutes reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things… Wanda @