Spread Too Thin

We have a lot of options for showcasing the intricacies of our brainspace. I was okay with having a blog. And then Flickr. Then Twitter. Then Tumblr. Now people are posting on Foursquare. And Pinterest. And Fancy. And let’s not forget Facebook.

Is this who we are now, as a culture? People who wander around, showing everyone our proverbial dicks?

I look at all of this stuff as your online personality –  not contrived, just representative of who you are – and I still feel like I don’t know who you are. More to the point, I no longer CARE, because you are bombarding me with this assault in the form of short missives about where you’re buying lunch or how much you love pictures of daisies.

We’re spread too thin.

If you liken social media to high school (which I’m totally about to to so just HOLD ON TIGHT), paying extraordinary amount of attention to all of these media outlets just sort of makes you like that one really popular girl who always asked how you were doing but never actually cared about the answer; halfway through she was already on to the next person.

And we all know what happened to that girl. Her day was chock full of pleasing people and dipping her toe into the social pool every minute, so full that she was addicted to speed in the form of Dexatrim just to make it through the long day of class and cheerleading practice and violin practice and mock trial and theater practice and being a candy striper that she had a mild heart attack and crashed her VW Cabriolet into a tree just to get a day off.

The rest of us were skipping class to take a nap under the tree near the gym, because there’s an MST3K marathon on later that we totally need to be rested for, knowing that life is long and Tom Servo is only on TV for a couple of hours a week.

You know what I did with that popular girl when she asked how my day was going? I spun her ass around and was in her face like “My day was amazing! I got into a fight with a WWII veteran in the grocery store because he actually referred to me as a colored person, in 2011!, and this is the part where you hear about it because you look like you can no longer focus on anything for longer than 30 seconds and that is NOT good for the human brain.”

I feel like the guy dressed in tin foil standing on an overturned milk crate in the middle of Times Square yelling about the end of days, and I don’t think I’m being too hyperbolic when I say SOCIAL MEDIA WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL.

As someone who has an increased chance of getting Alzheimer’s, I like to put everything on my blog so that I have one place to remember stuff, and even that place is widely neglected. It’s neglected because I’m usually out on a day-to-day basis doing WILD and CRAZY things like looking people directly in the face while talking to them, or not telling someone every thought that zooms into my head. The rush is exhilarating!

I don’t know where we’re going with this type of social climate, but I fear it’s only going to get worse. But can it really get much worse than someone “checking in” to let you know they’re taking a dump or ordering a sandwich?

Just typing that sentence bored me to sleep.

Photo credit

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  1. Pine-WHAAAAAA? I quit. Twitter was my line in the sand. “You can come THIS FAR,” I said to the interwebz, “and NO FURTHER!!”
    In a few years people will probably be talking about me like the crazy cat lady who still has a rotary dial phone who can’t get through at the doctor’s office because she can’t press ’0′.

    Whatevs. Over it.

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    • DanielleH says:

      But rotary phones make such a soothing sound; they’re such a tactile experience. Much better than checking in as the mayor of your dry cleaner on Foursquare.

  2. Lesley says:

    Thanks for this! I keep TRYING so hard to twitter and blog and I sorta suck at it all. But, I love reading blogs. And, I love Pinterest because I don’t have to think hard about pretty pictures. :>

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  3. MonsteRawr says:

    I think it’s always about knowing yourself. Sure, I always try to keep up with all my social-ness, but not at the expense of having a life. After all, you’re going to be one boring-ass blogger if you’re so busy blogging that you never leave your desk!

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  4. The great thing about having strokes is that no matter how plugged I look, I’m that kid in the hallway banging his head into lockers.

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  5. IzzyMom says:

    I spent 4 days looking at the tops of something like 450 heads. You see where I’m going with this, right?

    I tweeted maybe once during the entire Mom 2.0 conference and thus I feel no shame as I read your tin foil-fueled missive of win and brilliance. Although…if I ever get an iPhone, I may be eating these smug words of mine ;)

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    • DanielleH says:

      Let’s start a band! The kind of band who stands on stage without looking or talking to each other. You’re my people.

  6. Erin says:

    Amen! What happens to all these people’s “lives” when the power goes out and they can’t charge their electronics? Focus on the people in front of you. They are “real” life.

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    • DanielleH says:

      A think a healthy balance is good, but man, I just cannot be that aware of other people all the time, you know?

  7. Britt Reints says:

    I totally tweeted this post.

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  8. Sarah Brown says:

    I agree with all of this, but I want to give you huge props for the Cabriolet.


    (I’m still not real sure what pwned means).

    You just made me want to unplug everything.

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  10. Sara says:

    The graphic in this post terrified me. Is all that shit real?! I felt overwhelmed by e-mail, Facebook and Twitter alone, before I even encountered stuff like StumbleUpon and Digg. If I StumbleUpon one more thing, someone is going to have to Digg me out.

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  11. Christine says:

    Aww Cabriolets. A friend of mine had a convertible one that leaked up the place. Granted she had it when we were 25. I had a Dodge Shadow that my father bought me in the ghetto for a $100. It had dents pushed up from the trunk. I still miss that car.

    And now that I’ve completely glossed over the point of this post, I will give a hearty AMEN. I can’t keep up with twitter. Although I do read blogs and still have the FB account, mostly because FB and my husband guilt me with: But what will happen to our pictures….

    As though these same pictures don’t exist on memory cards or our computers and like we couldn’t just, I dunno, print them.

  12. Michel says:

    A friend emailed this post to me and I am reading it on my iPhone while my fiancé and I are driving back home for the long weekend to visit friends and family. Back home where my phone won’t work so I’m trying to cram it all in on the drive. He just touched my leg. I think we’ll talk the rest of the way there.

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