I’ve been married a long time. Long enough that in a few years I’ll be able to score the traditional gift of china or the modern gift of platinum. We have a good marriage and we still like to hang out together even if we don’t get to do it very often. We live together (duh), own a business together (stupid) and we share a lot of the after school pick up and home work duties (but all the scheduling falls on me).
We don’t necessarily always agree on the preferred family chores, not preferred family chores and chores that are completely worth avoiding altogether if you can get away with it. Is that true of most households? Negotiations usually begin with the following…
Can you? * Will you? * I can’t. * Please don’t make me. * I’ll do it. * I’ve got it. * You just stay right there. * Let me. * Your turn. * No way. * What do I have to do to get out of doing that? *
And my absolute favorite: What the hell do I have to do to get out of doing this? Which I often ask myself. The answer to this question could be a sexual favor or a home cooked meal.
Chores we (or you!) may try to get out of on a regular basis…
Unloading the dishwasher * Sunday night grocery store runs * Kid bath time/bed time * Walking the dog (you know that means picking up the dog poo) * Refilling med boxes for 2 kids/20 meds * Ordering said meds from 3 different pharmacies * Addressing the kids’ requests after they’re in bed (only 2 per night, but still!) * Picking kids up from school * Homework; especially working on reports * Kids’ 3-5 weekly medical/mental health appointments.
Maybe you like doing these things and it doesn’t matter to your family, your spouse, your roommate, your whatever. If it doesn’t bother you I can’t imagine why because doing those things every single day? Not so fun. Maybe those aren’t an issues for you and your life is nearly perfect except for maybe you are thinking of changing jobs or moving. Or maybe you are thinking of buying something you question if you can afford. Not to worry! I can help with life’s tough decision.
There is only one way to solve life’s tough decisions. Rock, paper, scissors, baby. Also widely known as RPS.
Works every time.
Well, that’s not exactly true for me but I can sometimes win if we go 3 out of 5 which I have to do often. Is it slow reflex? Are the people I play just luckier? Is the Universe against me in some larger way than sick kids and giving me a lovely dog that farts smell so badly my eyes water?
During my massive amount of research for this post I noticed there are other variations on the Rock, Paper, Scissors Decision Maker Game. One is the Star Trek Edition; with Spock and a Lizard. A lizard? I don’t get how Spock and a Lizard work their way into to a RPS game, but okay.
Five items in the PRS game is too much! It’s not Aiming Low enough! People! Stop adding confusing items to the mix. I’m not sure I’ve got enough brain cells left at the end of the day to think about FIVE choices for RPS. Let me explain.
- Spock smashes scissors and vaporizes rock.
- Spock is poisoned by lizard and disproved by paper.
- Lizard poisons Spock and eats paper.
- Lizard is crushed by rock and decapitated by scissors.
Nice! Because when we’re playing a cute game of RPS to decide who is taking care of an unwanted chore (or for a sexual favor or home cooked meal), we all want to win by rock crushing and decapitation.
Nothing warms you up to a sexual favor or a home cooked meal like rock crushing and decapitation. Am I right?
Photo credits: Drawing/Star Trek Game Diagram: VidtheKid,
Drawing/Star Trek Game Hands: DMacks
About Julia Roberts
I am instituing RPS as the new go-to decision making in this house. I am usually in charge of everything here except making money (though mostly in charge of spending it) and paying all our bills.
I would like to get out of a whole slew of tasks here like taking out the trash, changing the sheets, and folding laundry.
Thanks for the awesome tip!
Twitter Name: themommytherapy
It really does work! Then report back…
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I’m pretty sure rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock came from the Big Bang Theory (show, not the actual theory). Because paper makes no sense to win over rock, ever (in real life, paper tears….) and Sheldon decided rock-paper-scissors was too predictable (something about if you know the other player, you will usually do the same thing, for example, you both pick rock) and it needed some complications/spicing up.
But they still all pick Spock.
That’s because Spock is sexy!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
See, the thing Laura, is that I am not smart enough to figure it out…so how can I dominate those I play?
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Add dynamite to the mix. It ALWAYS wins.
RPSLS was invented well before Big Bang Theory, although it’s certainly become more popular since. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock-paper-scissors#Variations.
Aw, wish I watched BBT.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Laughing so hard right now!! Time for me to add Aiming Low to my feed reader.
That’s sweet! Was the sexual favors or decapitation comment that got you? Welcome!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
=) both!! Thanks so much for the welcome, and I look forward to your next post.
I heard that you should always throw paper out first. That’s because most people throw rock first and this saves you from having to go three out of five.
Twitter Name: LisaACOTA
Lisa, this is very good information for me to know. You’re very useful, indeed! We’ll keep you!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1