Recently my buddy Robin got a new phone.
Yow know, Robin Plemmons? Remember her?
Yeah, she went from a janky old cell to a phone that she’s not embarrassed to be seen in public with.
One that was smarter than both of us.
It was cooler too. It had been naked with Ryan Reynolds already.
The day her new phone arrived Robin was crazy excited!
She sent her first text message.
To me!
I was so proud. It was a picture of her nipple.
I did what any boss in their right mind would do.
I returned her first text. With the words “you’re fired!”
OK, really? Have you not seen me in action? What I really did was whip out my phone and my boob and sent her a christening picture.
We laughed and sent a thousand more texts.
So, fast forward several weeks.
My husband and his co-worker are in my house and we are discussing the benefits of my cell phone, which is a step up from his.
He plays with the touchscreen.
He digs the fact that there is qwerty keyboard as well as a touch keypad.
He grooves on how nice the pictures are.
ALL THE PICTURES.
Cause, as I showed him how easy it was to scroll through the picture I realized I’d forgotten to ERASE.THOSE.NIPPLE.SHOTS.
There was my husband’s co-worker holding a picture of my left breast.
Again, I did what any good boss would do in that situation.
“That’s my friend Robin! Here’s a picture of her sexually harassing a cardboard cutout too!”
Rule of thumb: If you are going to lie about someone, make sure you have proof that they would do something like that. It helps if you have a friend like Robin, too.
About Anissa Mayhew
If it was a good boob picture I’d have totally owned. A bad one would have been pawned off on Robin.
Twitter Name: msmegan
Believe me, it will happen again.
Leave your cell # and I can forward it!!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Yeah, this has totally happened to me, except for the whole being there and being able to lie about it and cover my ass (yeah, that was intentional). The then-boyfriend lent my phone to buddy for the afternoon without checking with me, then FREAKED OUT when he realized we’d, um, played with the phone a few weeks prior. Ahhh… the good old days of pre-kid titties, when I was actually proud enough of them to be only minimally bothered by this.
Twitter Name: birdiesaysok
Um…there’s something wrong with this post. There are no links to the boob pictures. Maybe it was a problem with the HTML or like the http, or the IBM or something. Anyway, please fix it.
Thanks!
Twitter Name: betadad
Great story.
I’ve got nothing to worry about, as a tittie shot of my boob could easily be mistaken for a walnut in a sock, or a medical photo of a large cyst.
Just learning to text myself, after swearing for years I would never indulge in that kind of thing. Now I’m like a teenage girl giggling while trading obnoxious inappropriate jokes back and forth with my friends who are at work. I get it now, finally, 10 years after the rest of the world.”
My husband took a pic of me pumping when I was all attached and unable to stop him…fast forward a few hrs and he is at a party sharing. The wife of his friend comments ‘that is the biggest real boob I have ever seen’ cue the entire party checking out my rack. I wish we could go back to phones that were only phones.
What’s her hand doing?
Twitter Name: StacieinAtlanta
Sa-lut!
You are so fired.
OH! TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE! I needed that!! I <3 Robin Plemmons, I have recently taken up cyberstalking her in my free time. Which is about 3 minutes a day, but still.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
All this time and I thought the word Bacon was being used for Boob…it’s not?
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1