As a kid, I spent the majority of non-Hebrew School afternoons in front of the TV. I watched non-public television; not-intended-for children game shows [what’s making whoopee?], sitcoms and talk shows.
Who had time for After School Specials with Hot Donahue mic wrangling, Robin Wright narrowly missing the “Carnation Killer” on Santa Barbara, and crazy special Monroe and his perfectly feathered “Too Close for Comfort” hair?
What made Monroe so dang special?
http://timstvshowcase.com/tooclose.jpg
Despite my latch-key screen love affair, I cartwheeled through the stages of childhood development, and grew into a well-adjusted kid who listened to all four of her parents and got her homework done. Okay, so I could never do a cartwheel, but I choreographed some mean Sheena Easton routines during commercial breaks.
So how did I morph into the Screen Limit Psycho? I became a parent.
My children have loved television ever since since they were lovingly tethered to a bouncer, placed 3 feet before Baby Einstein. It turns out, Baby Einstein might not have benefited young minds in any discernible way, but it sure benefited post-postpartum ones. One 20 minute segment (or 120 minutes when Daddy set it on REPEAT ALL) netted us time to eat dinner, shower, and go away for a 3 day weekend. It felt like a 3-day weekend, anyway—a 3-day weekend trapped in a car listening to the same nursery rhyme in 73 different languages…a wren wren colorio. O colorio wren wren.**
[**Note: after YEARS of a wren wren colorio. O colorio wren wren loitering in the freezer section of my memory, I FINALLY forgot it, only to retrieve it—ON PURPOSE—for this essay. Never question my devotion to aiming low. Ever.]
DVDs and PBS kids became my parenting CPR. Being the conscious parent I am, I ignored the “no TV before age 2 recommendation” but adhered to the 2 hour daily screen limit. I’m a Reform Jew, and I carefully consider commandments before opting–no thanks on the pork, yes please on the cheeseburger.
By three years old, both my boys could use a mouse and play computer games. Despite the weekly soccer, summer camp, library/zoo/children’s museum outings, Kafka role playing, and play dates, every drawing and piece of writing that came home from Kindergarten featured something resembling an iPhone or available for purchase in the app store.
Come first grade, I noticed my son beginning to branch out and incorporate a few other themes into his creative writing and drawing; Legos, Superheroes, and Ninjas—very typical boy, and very likely found on a DVD or a computer game.
At teacher conferences, Mrs. O. gave my seven-year-old a stellar review. Thrilled with his progress in all areas, she asked if I had any concerns. I told her that while I had no concerns about him at school, I worry that left to make his own choices, his perfect day would include two things: pajamas and screens. I relayed my observations of watching his body tense up in excitement and frustration while battling the what-if-athon-izer-bot-blaster-majiggy, and worried over his future as an obsessed gamer.
Mrs. O smiled and replied “I spent my entire childhood playing video games. I still love them. I wouldn’t worry too much about it”
Mrs. O is a phenomenal teacher. She has a masters in science, Montessori training, and has made a career working with kids who have special needs. I let her reassure me.
After my childhood Soliel Moon-Frye/Jack Tripper binge, I survived and went on to live a healthy and balanced life. Even if my version of “healthy and balanced” includes hours and hours of blogging, social networking, and shouting “BIG MONEY NO WHAMMIES” when looking for a parking spot.
Thank you Monroe. Thank you Baby Einstein. Thank you Mrs. O.
About Ann Imig
And what’s REALLY funny is when you grow up watching The $20,000 Pyramid, The Facts of Life, Three’s Company, Soap and The Carol Burnett Show and 30 years later you barely watch any TV at all, preferring to endlessly surf the internet. However I’m also happily married, have a job and cook a mean roast chicken. So even with “too much TV,” it still turned out to be all good ;-)
Twitter Name: sharonkurheg
BIG MONEY NO WHAMMIES!
LOVE IT.
I am so comforted by this post. Thank you. My version of Screen Control is to let my son (my daughter doesn’t seem to care much about tv or video games.. I’d love to take credit for that and conveniently ignor my son’s growing screen addiction) basically overdose on any new video game. I just let him play it as much as he wants for a few days, until the game loses its luster.. and it always does. If I try to impose rules I am quickly worn down by the near constant nagging.. “now Momma? Can I play now? How about now?”
The only version of control I seem to be able to adhere to is that I don’t buy many video games, and I make him earn them with a star chart (get a star for good behavior/listening type thing). Since I have no self-control when the video game is actually IN the house, I set the “Star Bar” realllly high. Sucker’s gotta earn 80 stars to get a video game, thus ensuring that if we get two a year it’ll be a miracle.
-Ellie
I like to think that the manual dexterity necessary for being a good video game player will mean that Hoss is able to use those robotic surgery machines. I’m just training him for later life.
In all seriousness, though, I was a TV addict as a child but I have a good job and a number of screenless hobbies (productive ones like knitting and gardening!) I try to moderate the family’s computer/Wii/DS/TV time (no video games on school nights, all electronics turned off a certain amount of time before bed, designated times when everyone- parents and children- spends time reading on the weekend) but I’m not going to freak myself out over it.
Twitter Name: MamaKaren
Yes, yes, yes. Loved this.
I think it’s less about screens and more about great parents. Which, momma, you seem to be. (I’m an self-proclaimed expert. Don’t challenge me.)
Twitter Name: waitinthevan
I need a Mrs. O in my life. I need someone to make me feel better about my kids’ invisible friends all being from television shows.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
I am totally using Big Money No Whammies from now on. Thanks for reminding me!
My 17 yo playing video games on the weekend beat what I was doing at 17 **wink**
I feel like I spent my entire childhood watching television. There must have been time spent doing other things, I just can’t remember them. (And really…what COULD have competed with Monroe’s hair?)
I don’t seem to have the attention span for or interest in it anymore. Maybe it functioned as aversion therapy?
Also, I thought Schneider was hot. So there’s that.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Twitter Name: annsrants
I watched Too Close for Comfort as a kid too. But I’m confused – who is the girl on the left in the cast picture? I don’t remember that character. Did the show pull a “Cousin Oliver” and bring in a Cousin Olivia that I don’t remember?
Twitter Name: DrLori71
If my memory serves, she was the oldest daughter who no longer lived at home. Can I get a confirmation?
Twitter Name: annsrants
I looked it up and she was a niece who came to live with the family. Huh. I don’t remember her at all.
Twitter Name: DrLori71
Baby Einstein. This is where I went wrong as a parent. Think of the SANITY I could have salvaged. Jeez.
Love seeing the parenting side of Ann.
BIG MONEY NO WHAMMIES! Man, that show was the best.
Twitter Name: theflyingchlupa
There isn’t nearly enough Kafka role playing these days.
I’m open about my encyclopedic knowledge of 70s and 80s television. And The Guiding Light theme song is on the soundtrack of my summers. All of them, from ages 0-18.
And see? I’m as average – oops, normal – as they come.
Twitter Name: Missy_Stevens
I was weaned on TV and so are my girls. I blame it on the crappy Midwest winters. I might be a TV junkie but while I watched Donohue, Sally Jesse, and Oprah, I was 20 before I realized why Monroe was so “special”. I don’t think you understand just how valuable the boob tube is until you’ve had kids. Like for example, how I am able to form a conscious thought and formulate it into this comment. Without the TV, I would have screaming monkeys climbing all over me right now!
Twitter Name: omahamama
WE LOVE YOU TV. THANK YOU FOR RAISING OUR CHILDREN.
Twitter Name: annsrants
Happy Days taught me all I needed to know about life.
Twitter Name: thejackb
I remember thinking The Fonz was a little scary. I think for a young girl “scary” might be the pretext for “sexy”
Hmmmm…
Twitter Name: annsrants
Ann- I loved this! You always capture our childhood years so well. Same goes for the post on your site now, too. As for screen time, I smugly let myself feel better about the massive amounts of SpongeBob happening in this house by remembering we returned the Wii the grandparents sent for Hanukkah last year. I just knew the kids and I would be fighting and negotiating about it CONSTANTLY. But my son does walk around saying “Oh barnacles” all the time and calling people krusty crabs.
Twitter Name: NinaBadzin
Watching them eat crabby patties reminds me of my own father thinking the gum flavors I chewed were incomprehensibly vile.
Twitter Name: annsrants