March Mental Illness Spotlight: Schizophrenia

Aiming Low Does Good is talking about mental illness in March. Mental illnesses affect people from all walks of life and can strike in many different forms. It’s important to us to let people living with any type of mental illness know that they are not alone. While depression, postpartum disorders, and anxiety disorders seem to be talked about quite frequently in our community, there are other forms of mental illness that occur.

Schizophrenia is one of these mental illnesses that is just as real but less openly discussed. Today we’d like to change that.

In my family the only thing I was prepared for was for a diagnosis of diabetes, but in the summer of 2007 my family’s medical concerns would be forever altered. Prior to my adult onset Paranoid Schizophrenia I made good grades and was very active in the community. In fact, I made the dean’s list my freshmen year of college. In college, I was on the cross country team, a student mentor, and a youth church leader. In addition to that, I was an elections poll worker for the presidential election of 2004. I was very competitive, passionate, and motivated to excel both academically and sociably, and still am today.

In 2007, my whole world seemed to have crashed. I dropped out of college my junior year and started having problems with family and friends, which was very unlike me. I loved learning and spending time with others, however, I began to isolate and stick to myself because I thought close friends were gossiping about me and that family was against me. I had a psychotic break at the age of 20. I thought stress led me to drop out of college, but that was far from the truth.

I heard voices, but assumed they were the people around me. I saw people following me, which made me afraid that someone would try to harm me. One particular hallucination was of an elderly man following me on an antique bicycle. This scared me because I could not get rid of him no matter where I went. Another hallucination was the voices telling me I was a dishonor to my family. The voices, sometimes one voice, sounded like an evil cartoon character with a deep voice.

I had unexplainable racing thoughts or no thoughts at all. As a believer in God, I thought the Bible came to life, I thought I was fighting spiritual warfare everyday. I sensed angels and demons in the people around me; I thought I had the gift of discernment, and that I was a prophet. Moreover, I thought I could read people’s minds and they could read my mind too. Sometimes it made me feel very uncomfortable and stressed out, other times the voices and visual hallucinations frightened me. Frequently, I prayed for focus and protection whenever I felt anxious or afraid.

After being institutionalized for five months for unknowingly committing a crime while experiencing psychosis, which is a split between reality, I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia. Immediately, my family and I took ownership of my recovery by getting involved in an outpatient treatment program and clubhouse. To me, my diagnosis was a relief because it explained the emotional chaos in my life that contributed to my situation and caused me to go to jail and the State Hospital for five months.

Now, I am managing my illness very well. To cope with Schizophrenia I take my medication regularly, participate in and also facilitate support groups, and I express my concerns and needs to family and friends or journal about it. I am overcoming Schizophrenia with the support of my faith, support system, and treatment plan. I am still learning about myself and this illness.
Currently, I am back in college, studying psychology in hopes of becoming a mental health therapist in Atlanta, Georgia. I am a member of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), and Founder and Executive Director of a non-profit organization, Embracing My Mind, Inc.  Through my experiences with Schizophrenia, I have found a new purpose in life- to commit my efforts to the mental health community. I strive to alter people’s perceptions about mental illness and to fight stigma by sharing my story with others and assisting peers on their path to recovery. I also maintain a blog called Overcoming Schizophrenia. My blog discusses my many experiences and my recovery with Schizophrenia.

I must emphasize that yes, Schizophrenia can be a difficult mental illness to overcome, but it is possible, I am living proof that one can excel despite the challenges of living with Schizophrenia, or any mental illness.

Ashley’s blog has a great list of resources for people learning to live with mental illness and schizophrenia. Schizophrenia affects more than 2 million Americans and it is treatable. If you have questions about this disorder, please check out Ashley’s blog or read through the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s pamphlet about schizophrenia.