Attention internet people! I have a serious question.
Is Ke$ha always drunk? Because I swear, every time I see her face & body on TMZ, it looks like she is straight up HAMMERED out of her gourd.
Surely, she must’ve been shit faced when she decided to replace the “S” in her name with a dollar sign.
And she had to have been wasted when she wrote the words to “Dinosaur.” (“You’re just an old man… you need a cat scan…you’re pretty old”).
And I’m really hoping she was slizzered on some Jack Daniels when she wore this atrocity of a bathing suit in public:
I bet you’re all like, “WTFFFF?”
It’s not like her body is repulsive, it’s just that this particular bathing suit is doing NOTHING to flatter it.
It looks like a diaper for hookers with bad taste.
Where is her mother? Why isn’t she around to tell her “NO” & “STOP THAT” & “Don’t wear clothing that showcases your mons pubis!”
She must walk into a store & yell, “Make me look like a hot mess, y’all!! Wooo!”
The bottoms of this suit remind me of those mesh panties they give you in the hospital to wear right after you have a baby. Except those things are way more appealing AND they won’t give you a yeast infection.
I understand that high waisted shit is in style right now. But before you choose to put your naked body into this unforgiving crotchal styling, please, please, get a 2nd opinion. And make sure that 2nd person isn’t drunk too.
Check out that killer side hatching! If I shoved my larger-than-normal rump into those babies my flesh would more than likely squish out of the sections. I would have fleshy sections!
If her front butt & her regular butt could talk, this is probably what they would say:
I could be all wrong though. Maybe she’s a major trend setter by taking risks with her fashion & soon we will all be sporting unattractive panels over our vaginas on the beach. And who doesn’t want to see more vagina panels & fleshy sections?!
Now that I have thoroughly lambasted her choice of swim wear & called her a lush, I feel it’s my duty as a southern woman to redeem myself by simply saying, “Bless her heart.”
And Ke$ha honey, if you need someone to hold your hair back, give you a hug & take a trip to TJMaxx for a little appropriate lycra shopping, gimme a call.
About Robin Plemmons
BWAAAHAHAHA! Yeah, that is pretty embarrassing. But she probably has paid people telling her how hot she looks in that. Of course, in this case, they just don’t mention the word “mess” afterwards.
Twitter Name: sharonkurheg
If that’s the case, those stylists need to be fired. And they need their brains checked.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
I suddenly feel so much better about me naked. Thank you for that.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
I’ve ALWAYS felt good about you being naked, Robin.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Um, it’s like she has an old lady body and a 21 year old head. I say 21 because she’s obviously drunk.
That’s the only reasonable explanation. Likker makes you delusional.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Um, I don’t know whether to laugh at her for being another over the top celebrity who made a terrible fashion choice or just pity her for the fallout that is sure to arise from this particular look. To say it is doing nothing for her bod is a huge understatement!
Twitter Name: omahamama
Let’s do both. Laugh & pity & repeat.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Dear lord.. that was terrifying!!! I call her the white trash princess. She scares me, and I am fairly sure her breath smells like dead animals.
And some vomit.. probably.
Twitter Name: mom2aroo
Oh gawd. Dead animal breath? That makes me want to shrink up into a little ball & hide.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Oh wow! She could do so much better than that! Her body is normal, which is cool, but that suit is not flattering at all! I totally love her and all but this is $o wrong!
Twitter Name: RandomBlogette
Her body IS normal & her music is enthusiastic & catchy but she’s needs a $lap on the hand for this. Thank$ for continuing the $$$ in your comment, Jayme.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Hell$ yeah! $he de$erve$ more than a $lap on the hand for thi$. Uh, you’re welcome! =)
Twitter Name: RandomBlogette
OMG I just spewed coffee all over my keyboard, Kei$ha’s head def does not fit the body, the proportions are bizarre and the Hooker Diaper comment?… HA!
TGIF and TGI ain’t wearing that diaper!
Twitter Name: Lindsey Garrett
SO funny!!!!!!
Se$y!. But I like your commentary even more than the diaper suit. You’d be fun on Project Runway.
Twitter Name: rajean Blomquist
what is wrong with wanting to wear a cloth diaper? She is environmentally friendly and a hooker.
God, You’re so judgy.
I don’t know how she did it, but jessica just plagiarized what was in my head. She obviously has superpowers.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
OMG! Robin im on the floor! SOOO friggin hilarious!!! ah haaaaaaa
Twitter Name: Hannah Thomas
I thought the same thing about that suit looking like post-childbirth undies. Also? Is it the style now for women’s bathing suit bottoms to be larger than men’s? Let’s face it, that guy she is with isn’t exactly the pinnacle of fashion either.
Twitter Name: Madatmama
I really don’t understand why they didn’t carry the mesh on the top part as well. I mean if you are going to do it wrong at least do it wrong right.
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
I love the comparison to those stretchy part-partum undies you get in the hospital to hold the ice pack up against your war-wounded hoo-ha. That is AWE$OME.
Twitter Name: TheBeardedIris
Wow. In the words of the famous Royal Marshall, “Just Damn”.
We watched her on New Year’s Eve and my 7 year old son kept asking what was wrong with her. I said “what do you mean?”
He said, “I think she acts really funny. But in a weird way.”
Twitter Name: StacieinAtlanta
And she has a total rectangle shape. Doesn’t she have a stylist or an honest friend?
Twitter Name: StacieinAtlanta
Have no idea who she is but come on women, we are hating on her as she is not the perfect body weight/type and her bathing suit sucks?!
I thought we were aiming low here and making do with what we have! Be nice. She is obviously one of us.
Sorry but I must respectfully disagree. Ke$ha is definitely not one of us.
She sings really catchy songs about sex, orgies, stripping, being drunk and brushing your teeth with Jack Daniels that appeal to 8 year old girls and she gets paid an obscene amount of money to do so.
If she’s going to get rich corrupting impressionable young minds with her idiotic drivel, I feel well within my rights to criticize her hideous bathing suit and she’s damn lucky I don’t take her to task for a hell of a lot more.
Hmm, had no idea she was such a skank. Thought everyone was attacking her for her body shape and unfortunate choice of bathing suit.
GOD… this is just…
I have no words.
Twitter Name: mommygeekology