A recent weekend brought me a little allergy attack that resulted in a scratchy throat. No biggie, right? I happened to be overnight camping (in cabins with heat and bathrooms, you know, ROUGHING IT) with my daughter’s Girl Scout troop and a plastic covered mattress, the sleeping bag sliding on the plastic covered mattress, the multiple heavy breathers (and not the good kind) and my ever-increasing cough had me getting less than stellar sleep.
Tired from my one night “camping” and at home and feverish by the next evening I promptly took a nap. In order to justify said nap I took my temperature and it was 101.something. Waking only long enough to take over-the -counter meds, throw dinner on the table and get water (well, and check email, Facebook and Twitter) I put myself to bed and stayed home from work the next day and rested. By rested I mean I did 4 loads of laundry in between a naplet* and cleaning the kitchen. By Thursday I had not improved and so I jumped into a minute clinic to be diagnosed with bronchitis and started on antibiotics.
Not having been sick – really sick – for years, I didn’t quite know what to do to make being sick better. Luckily, I’m a quick learner and in interest of helping fellow Aiming Lowers I thought I’d share my tips:
- If you cough into your pillow all night you will barely wake up anyone in your house. It would be better for the person you sleep with (hey, we don’t judge here) to remove yourself and go in another room, but you will NOT be comfortable. So I don’t recommend it.
- Be sure not to take any fever-reducing meds within 3 hours of when you will have to prove you have a nap-worthy temperature.
- In order to present yourself as your most miserable self, thereby having a better chance of gaining the sympathies of those in your household, only shower every 2-3 days while sick.
- Wear your hair back with a thick headband and remove all make up for the duration of your illness. And while you’re at it, keep on the same yoga pants for every day you are sick. Men, don’t shave and keep those flannel plaid pjs bottoms on your bottom.
- If you run out of tissue, feel free to use cotton reusable napkins and dishtowels. They are soft, washable, and basically free. It’ll gross out the fellow members of your house, but this is about you, not them.
- When people are around you, cough. A lot. It won’t hurt to make a couple of groaning sounds either. Then touch your forehead with the back of your hand and ask a family member to do the same to check for a fever.
- Kids are often handy to provide glasses of fresh ice water and find the remote control. Fresh water and TV can make all the difference.
I have to say; the people that live in my house did alright, all things considered. Sadly, I have to move on from all the perks of being sick. Be warned though, after two weeks of sickness there is hardly anything you can do to garner attention that’ll get enough sympathy to pay off.
Unless you fall down the stairs and twist your ankle. That could work.
*a short nap, one that is without RIMM sleep but does enough to make you feel a little rested.
About Julia Roberts
Julia, I am disappointed in you! That is not Aiming Low enough. The fact that you made dinner and did laundry while you were sick is just testament that you can go lower. Much, much lower. Do you think a man would have done anything but lay around and moan pathetically? I recommend the next time you are under the weather, milk it for all its worth. Two examples from my book:
* When the hubby asks about dinner, make a effort to stand up then collapse heavily back onto the bed or couch. Ask weakly if he could help you up and then lean on him and complain of dizziness or seeing spots.
* When the kids kids get home from school and are wanting ANYTHING from you, pretend to be in a deep sleep. Groan and cough loudly every time they come near you.
Good luck! I know you can do it. :-)
Twitter Name: omahamama
MamaB…I KNOW! I’m still learning…next time – like 10 years from now, I’m on strike!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I agree! When you are sick make as much effort as the rest of the family does when sick. NONE WHATSOEVER!
Unfortunately my family is on to me I think. My husband is stoic when sick and has not taken a sick day the entire 18 years we have been married. No sympathy from HIM. Hmmph! And unless I solicit tears my kids are pretty much immune to my coughs and groans. Damn them!
(There was the time I seriously damaged my knee and was in agony for a week. Kids were great, husband not so much. Problem was I was in SERIOUS pain! Not sure it was worth it actually ;)
Glad you are feeling better :)
Oh no! A husband that doesn’t whine when he has a “man cold” (youtube search that because that is my husband!).
And your knee? OUCH!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
i had a friend whose allergies were so bad that she would run out of tissues. no problem, her cotton nightie was the perfect stand-in. when i saw her blow her nose into the nightgown i was a little startled, i must say, but she just waved her hand dismissively and stayed right there on the couch with her red nose and eyes. priceless.
Twitter Name: Leslie Modena
Yes…completely agree that using a soft nightgown as a tissue is an acceptable arrangement for Aiming Lowers.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Years and years ago, I needed to play hooky from work. So I smeared just a tiny bit of eyeliner to make dark circles under my eyes and I wiped off 90% of my lipstick so I looked pale. And, well, I’m a good actress. Worked like a charm ;-)
Twitter Name: sharonkurheg
Crap…I work with my husband so I’m not sure that would work for me, but a very good Aiming Low tip!
You are a sharer is what you are!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1