I am a geek both by day and night – not only do I run a WordPress web design business but I also hold a 9-5 tech job in a corporate office. I am the only woman and the youngest on the team, as well as a mother to two young kids. All that means I am an easy target for someone who wants to be a jerk, which means I get a lot of practice thinking of ways to get revenge.
I won’t ever do anything, but it helps soothe me when I feel grouchy. My husband says this is because I am twisted, but I argue it is part of humanity. Revenge. These might work for you too, take notes!
1. Simply expose him/her for who they truly are. This is the lamest but, if they are jerks, the easiest. Just be sweet but allow the jerk to hang himself. It might take a while and possibly a conversation with the boss, calmly, with concrete examples.
2. Buy this teeny gizmo from ThinkGeek. It’s a tiny gadget that beeps at random intervals. It lasts forever & a day and will drive your coworker absolutely BATTY. Best hidden away from the computer, inside a cube wall or piece of furniture if possible. Ceiling tiles work great too!
3. Hide a small piece of raw chicken in the A/C vent above their desk. Obviously you will need a vent handy. But soon that will smell truly rotten and get him/her gagging. Best in a private office, not a nice trick in a cube environment.
4. Steal their security pass/door key. In my office, a security key is required to get in the side doors and after hours. During business hours you can use the main door but it is a pain in the butt. If you can manage to steal their pass (and let it show up somewhere else in the office a few days later each time) you can annoy the crap out of someone. And possibly make them think they are losing their minds. Bonus!
5. Lock ‘em out. Your office likely has a setup that allows any user to log onto any computer in the office, as long as it’s a company computer. Log off your profile and attempt to log on as the meanie-mo coworker. You don’t need to know the password, just ‘eff it up on purpose at least 5-10 times. That should lock them out of their user account and cause all sorts of havoc later on. Your tech team will probably have to reset the password and if they get work email on their phone, it’ll mess that up too. Rock! If you’re paranoid about getting caught, don’t do it on your machine – do it on theirs during their lunch break or an empty machine at a cubicle somewhere. :)
I’m a bit of a techie so most of my revenge techniques include leveraging technology that my mortal enemy probably doesn’t have a grasp on. I’m sure I could learn a lot from you, though! What should I do when faced with a tech-friendly enemy? What are your revenge techniques?