Dear 18-year-old-girl at the drive-thru/diner/outrageously expensive clothing store where I’m spending money I don’t have on a shirt I don’t need:
Listen. You and me, we’ve got to talk. I need to tell you something and believe me, it’s for your own good. Someday soon someone less charitable than me is going to take you to task and make you cry the ugly cry in front of all your customers, making you smear the mascara you just bought at Sephora and probably embarrassing you enough that you won’t want to come back to work. And trust me, in these hard economic times you want to hold on to whatever job you have, otherwise you won’t have the money to pay for your body glitter, so listen very closely…
I AM OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER. DO NOT CALL ME “HON”.
You’re not a fifty year old cocktail waitress with lipstick on her teeth and a pack of camels in her bag. You are a young, vibrant woman. Act like one. And the first step toward doing that is to get your head out of your teeny, tiny ass and stop calling your patrons by cutesy pet names. It’s demoralizing for both of us.
Other names that also don’t work: Doll, Darling, Baby… And Ma’am.
Hey, I’m old enough to be your mother but you don’t have to make me feel like I am.
Sincerely,
The very nice woman who wants to hold on to some shred of dignity and pretend this never happened, m’kay?
About ChickyBaby
OMG, LOVE this! This is one of the main reasons I refuse to shop at the mall. Okay, there is the whole thing about me despising crowds, too. But that’s another story. I’m thinking of having shirts made that just say “NO, I do not need your assistance, HON.” Or maybe just “Bubonic plague carrier inside. Please keep your distance.” Either/Or.
Twitter Name: bonesysblahg
Okay, as Professional Devil’s Advocate and Former 18 Year Old at the Dress Shop, what does work? I mean, okay, if she’s ringing you up and says, “Did you find everything okay?” or “Do you want a bag or did you bring your own?” obviously there’s nothing needed at all, just leave it be. But when she’s standing outside your fitting room door with those jeans you asked her to get and she needs your attention and she’s calling you “Redhair Blackshirt” in her head, what is okay.
Honestly, I was taken to task far more often for “Ma’am,” than anything else.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
“Miss” almost always works. Or just knock on the door and say, Excuse me. Is there anything I can help you with? Or just Redhair Blackshirt. That would work for some people.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
Really? Miss? I loathe when some one calls me Miss. I’m no Miss. I traded that card in the moment I plucked my first chin whisker.
I’d rather they call me Your Majesty. Or rather, just remain silent.
Twitter Name: Tanis Miller
I LOVE “Your Majesty.” That would totally not offend me at all. Nor would “Your awesomeness,” or “Ms. What-Cellulite?”
Twitter Name: izzymom
Call me hon, sweetie, or doll and not do it from behind a walker with blue hair and sensible shoes, and I’ll choke you every fucking time. And don’t eyeball me when I walk into your slut stores like I can’t fit into anything anyways. Let me find out on my own thank you very much.
Twitter Name: returntoworkmom
I want to send this to the obnoxious new help desk person who calls everyone “dear”, but I can’t figure out how to do it without getting caught….
Preach Preacha!
Twitter Name: robinobryant
I hate being called ma’am. I have to admit though I am a honey, sweetheart girl when I talk to my elderly patients. Maybe it is a southern thing.
Some girl at the mall called me “sugar” and it stopped me in my tracks. Don’t know why, it was just weird. Who says that.
Twitter Name: thejackb
Oh This is so true! Even when someone is older than me I hate it. I’m not your hon or anything else. I’m the customer.
I never liked doll, babe, hon, darling and sweetheart (even by BF before he became the “one”). Even supervisors are better called by their first names.
The worst I have yet heard is from a customer to a waitress and it’s “Beauty” or any other name for a racehorse.
Oh, well, people call me Mommy all the time (even by a gen. manager who’s 4 yrs younger than me; hence, the current post). I’m trying to get over it. Hah!
Twitter Name: cheri_mr
I am guilty of all of the above, it just sneaks out of my mouth before I know what I am doing. Unless of course I am meeting you for the first time and I stammer out “You’re Chicky Chicky Baby-OMG!!” Like you don’t know who you are (filled with awesome…LOL)
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire