Who started favor bags as takeaways for attendees to a kid party? I have to know. I’ve googled many different phrases and I can’t find out who started this tradition.
I want to find out RIGHT NOW THIS VERY SECOND because I want to smack them in the face. HARD. OFTEN.
For the past 21 (combined) birthdays of my children I have purchased candy, plastic crap, cheap pencils, balls, pails/shovels, plastic bags with ties and handles, plain and printed paper bags, sunglasses, finger toys, stuff animals, coins, gum, chocolates, airplanes, cars, personalized notebooks, gel pens, markers, crayons, you name it and I have probably purchased it from O Trading Company over the last 12 years.
That is a whole lotta crap, right?
Let’s cover some reasons this tradition could have started, shall we? I thought maybe a mom who wanted to one up someone down the street or their sister or their pretend BFF, or maybe the bag industry was losing out to reusable lunch boxes and recycling, or maybe the trinkets n’ trash industry needed a economic boost.
Who is tired of running around the day before the party picking out shit from a dollar store? Worse yet, who wants to puke when they have to go into a Target for party favors (aka The Crap You Buy Under Protest) because you know you will be accosted by whatever they pump into the air that makes you spend over $100 each and every time you walk in the joint. DAMN YOU TARGET! I love you and hate you!
On a whim about a week before my eldest son’s movie party I declared I’d be following a No Gift Bag policy. Well, I started it so there was exactly one Twitter follower. Me. Luckily within minutes there were 4 of us and this was the hashtag a brilliant cohort came up with: #nogiftbags4u. When I explained to my son that we wouldn’t be giving away gift bags to his 7 party attendees, he didn’t seem bothered. He was absolutely fine with it because he knew he’d be getting birthday presents.
Hear me? We’re talking to all you greedy little kids! No more gift bags! So if you despise figuring out what to put in the bags that match the party theme and then shopping and putting them together then I beg you. Join us.
Quit buying party favor bags! Stop! Then use #nogiftbags4u on Twitter and join the movement.
About Julia Roberts
I hate gift bags. I hate to give them, and therefore, hate to inflict other parents with them. I don’t like the kids to walk away empty handed, though, so I usually do something. This year, we had a camp out and every kid got a flashlight and batteries. Perhaps not the most exciting thing ever, but I guarantee no one threw it directly in the trash. Total cost $3 each. I never could have done that well on gift bags. The year before we did t-shirts, which sounds expensive, but a local shop did them for $2.50 per shirt. Awesomeness.
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
Yeah, I did a couple of parties with gifts they could “use” – journals with pens (just printed out the theme and glued them on the front) and bath gel for a spa party. But now, I’m even quitting that. The kids who came to our first party without them didn’t even think about it.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
The kids never do. Unfortunately, my southern-fried paranoia streak does. I like your idea better, but I know I’ll never make it there. Pioneer well!
Twitter Name: ladyjess78
Ha! Jessi, I’m with you (I’m in GA) so I started dropping hints to all the other moms of the kids that were coming to the party…some were kind of relieved and said, “Ohhhh, I’m not going to give any either!”
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I did gift bags for the grown-ups this year. I bought 15 nips of vodka and smuggled them into the “Jumpy Place from Hell” disguised as kiddie gift-bags. Small consolation for the parents who had to give up their Saturday to attend. The kids were so hopped up on sugar and juice they didn’t even notice they didn’t get anything to take home.
Now THAT tradition I could get behind. Dawn, that’s very Aiming Low style…I love it!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
thanks for coming bags? is this what you are talking about? or the party favours from weddings and showers? or that piece of wedding cake? same idea. I did have a child ask “are there treat bags?” after they all won a hopping frog and super ball. oops!
Well…I was talking about “thanks for coming bags” for kids’ parties, but while we’re at it, let’s add those favors to the list!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Julia I totally agree with you. Thirty years ago, when our children started having birthday parties, there were NO lootbags as they are called here. Then as the years passed, some moms coming from other areas of our province brought the tradition of gift bags with them… to the dismay of many! I applaud your initiative and I hope it reaches the Eastern shores of Canada.
And I hope it reaches the prairies:)
Lorna, I know! When we were little (well, more than 30 yrs for me) we didn’t have take away bags and we all turned out okay. Start the movement up there!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
don’t do it. I just get one small gift for the kids (like a ball or something). one cool thing is better than 80 pcs of plastic.
Twitter Name: thatgirlblogs
Yep, that’s what I do.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
While we’re at it, I’ve instituted a “No Gift for my Kids” party too. I have three kids and they have a TON of crap. I don’t buy it, I don’t know from whence it came. Grandparents, maybe? We don’t need any more stuff and call me crazy but I don’t necessarily WANT my kids to have every single thing they want.
We can’t AFFORD to go to all the parties my kids get invited to b/c I can’t afford to buy three birthday gifts every weekend, ESPECIALLY for some kid in my daughter’s class whose last name I don’t even know. I buy my kids b’day gifts, and so do their grandparents and that is ENOUGH.
Coincidentally I wrote a newspaper column about how much I detest kids birthday parties and my kids invites are on the decline. Win/win.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Hiphip Hooorraayyyy!
I couldn’t agree more.
Twitter Name: SiobhanWolf
Yeah, we did the no gifts for a few years. Now I beg and beg for them to be small gifts. “Go in together!” I say. Anything I can do to tone down all the stuff!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I am totally with you!
I have been lucky with my oldest daughter. For her past two birthdays she has chosen to invite one friend to join us for an evening performance of The Nutcracker. She loves the ballet and loves that it has become her December birthday tradition. (I even overheard her saying that it was so much easier than trying to decide what to do for her party every year.) We have her friend over for dinner and cake then go to the ballet. Done. (We’ve invited each to stay overnight if they’d like but so far it hasn’t worked out for that portion of it, which I have to say, after the ballet finishes up at 10:00 or so, is just fine by me because the kids are tired and really want to go to sleep.)
I’ve never quite understood the “treat bag” tradition. It seemed to me that the party activity itself IS the thanks for coming part. Speaking only for myself, I’ve never thrown a “come to our house and bring my kid a birthday present then leave” party for either of my kids. They either bowl and have food and cake, or they glow in the dark golf, or something. Sounds like quite a treat to me! (When I was a kid, my mom was the brave sort that had six to eight kids for cake and ice cream in our basement and we played pin the tail on the donkey. And that was a good party!)
While on the subjects of parties…let me just toss this out. While I understand why schools ask that you invite the entire class so that no feelings are hurt (at least ours does if you are going to send invites home from school with the kiddos), now that class sizes are averaging 25 children (and here that is likely to go up next year after our second levy failure) it is cost prohibitive to do that kind of party. I’d be interested in hearing what other people think and how it is handled elsewhere, how many, who, and how to invite them. Birthday parties don’t come cheap!
Twitter Name: SiobhanWolf
We are not allowed to hand out invitations unless the entire class is invited. So invitations are handed out discretely.
The best party my youngest had did involve the entire class. But two of her classmates had a birthday 2 days after hers. So the three sets of parents threw one party and shared the costs.
It probably sucked for the parents of the kids that were invited…they had to buy three presents instead of just one.
I have friends who have done this, teamed up and had two birthday parties together. It’s a great option. In fact, those same parents had a no gifts party, too. One year I think they accepted donations for the local animal shelter if attendees wanted to bring something. It’s a great solution!
Twitter Name: SiobhanWolf
We’ve had parties like that but we were told just to bring one gift and the parents just divided the gifts.
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Yeah, our kids’ school has the same rule and the only year we let the kids ask everyone+ to come was their year of their own kidney transplant (more like a celebration of them living and the kids being supportive through it, ya know?).
I wish a few of us would start a birthday club we could just have one party and invite everyone. Buy one gift to attend and Robin, I love the dividing concept.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Like I said in a reply up there, I just get one small thing for each kid. ALSO, I cannot stand having to take home the goody bags full of crap and candy. Even for the kids, they’re excited for about three seconds and they forget about it, you know?
In India and Pakistan where my family is originally from, when it’s a person’s birthday, people are sent home with a special bag filled with candy/dessert type items. The idea behind this lies in the symbolic idea that the birth of this person has added “sweetness” to all of our lives.
Which brings me to… I’m not sure WHAT a 25 cent cheap plastic yoyo that’s going to snap in half in the next hour is supposed to symbolize.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
I think the cheap plastic yo-yo says, “Thanks for giving my kid a piece of cheap plastic crap for their birthday that I will be taking to Goodwill in less than thirty days. Here’s a little something for your kid, beeotch.”
Twitter Name: robinobryant
Faiqa and Robin. Yeah the plastic crap says NO ONE likes us or our kids very much.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Last year we didn’t do plastic crud bags. The night before his party my son and I made chocolate chip cookies and rice krispie treats and sent each of his six friends home with 2 rice krispies and 3 choc chip cookies.
Great idea…an activity and a take away! And affordable! Brilliant!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I normally end up throwing EVERYTHING away that comes in a goody bag (that is whatever my boys haven’t eaten up first).
I can’t get my oldest to stop asking for goody bags when he gets to a birthday party. It’s so rude and driving me crazy! I’ve talked to him about it, but he is convinced every party comes with a bag, grrrr.
With that said, I don’t know how to not give any out at his upcoming party. What would people think? I’m guessing I would more than likely even get some comments. *Sigh* Such troubles, ha! :P
Twitter Name: SoFla_Mama
I hate the goody bags, but I succumb to them every year for my daughter’s birthday parties. One year we had her birthday party at the local swimming pool and goody bags were included in the party package I purchased. The pool staff forgot to make up the bags. The party-goers didn’t forget, though. I had a group of 5 year olds on the verge of mutiny over the lack of plastic crap to take home. All I could think was that these angry little kindergarteners could take me down in a heartbeat, Gulliver’s Travels-style.
And that, my friends, is why I will always have stupid trinkets for the party peeps to take home.
Twitter Name: aimeewhitbread
I can take a group of angry 5 year olds!
Not.
I don’t blame you.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Gift bags? Thanks for coming bags? I say, you came to the party, had cake and played with my kid. In return we will come to your party. Why do I have to say thank you with a return gift?? And on that note (cause I just went to the birthday party from hell at a bowling alley) I vote no gifts for the birthday kid! C’mon, like they won’t be getting enough from you, your parents, your in-laws, aunts, uncles, etc. Why do we expect mom’s to fight the crowds at Target on any given Saturday to buy another crappy toy for someone else’s kid? I talked to my grandmother recently about the subject, she said in her day, a birthday was like any other day except maybe her mom made her favorite dinner. Class, what can we learn from this?
Twitter Name: omahamama
I know! The party is the gift! Or that’s what I am doing now. I’m also encouraging other moms I know to do the same.
And yeah, we usually had a friend join us for dinner (our fave) and had cake with the family. In my case it was creamed eggs on toast.
Every year.
I wish I were kidding.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I hate getting AND giving the stupid goody bags but I do usually send the kids home with something…typically a balloon since that’s all the little ones seem to care about anyway. One year, I handed out empty goody bags and told them to put their piñata crap in it. I don’t buy the cheap party section goodies, though because I know it’s just going to end up on the floor of their mom’s car anyway. Ugh…after ten years, I’ve really just come to dread planning fricken parties. of any kind.
Twitter Name: izzymom
I like the planning…it’s the implementation and the money I don’t particularly like!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
HEAR! HEAR! I am all for no party bags – I love the cookies/rice krispie treat idea, and the empty bag to load up the pinata loot. But really, I’m spending how much on the party and go give more gifts?
And I know my kids would love getting a donation to their favorite zoo or such just as much as they will love the boatloads of stuff they get from their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.
STOP THE GIFT BAG/THANKS FOR COMING TO MY PARTY BAG MADNESS!!!
Love that Julia!
Twitter Name: skj424
Yes! Stop the madness!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
I’m with you! I’m joining the movement!
Twitter Name: thedgoddess
Yay! Of course, a Domestic Goddess should join this movement!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
My solution: For my daughters’ bdays we have a book exchange. Each child brings a new, wrapped book. While they’re all eating cake each child gets to come pick a book. It is awesome! Everyone gets to take home a new book which is WAY better than a buch of candy & plastic crap that no one, even the kids, really like. This year (7th birthday) we used the “white elephant gift exchange” rules & puzzels instead of books – makes it more interesting for older kids. All the kids like to see what everyone else got, some trade with eachother (boys seem to not like books about fairies so much). My girls love that we do this “extra” thing at their parties. Best part – it costs me NOTHING!
Ah…brilliant ideas!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Not only am I in 100%, but have been for nearly a decade. Wide eyed kids ask, where’s the goody bag and I hug them and say thx for coming!
I stopped when my own kids (now teens & tween) brought home goodie bags worth 2x as much as the gift we brought. And more than once, the goodie bag WAS the gift (those were the cheapo parties). We’re done. And never looked back or regretted it!
Twitter Name: returntoworkmom
What about goody bags at school? I think they’re worse than goody bags for parties. You have a birthday only once a year and can choose to have a party or not (I try really hard to choose NOT and do something “special” with just the family instead), but a lot of my kids’ school classes seem to do goody bags for each kid in the class for each holiday and then again for their birthdays. That drives me crazy!!! Do you know how many goody bags that is throughout the course of the school year? a kazillion!!!
SO glad my kids are past the goodie bag stage! Those things used to frustrate the heck out of me. Both buying and the kids receiving. What kid in this day and age needs an assortment of dollar store crap?
In the end I would just send them home with a little bag of candy. At least I knew that would be enjoyed. Maybe.
Some of the High Achieving Mothers would do a craft or baking and the child would bring home their creation. Poke me in the eye!
My favorite thing as a parent of teens and the whole party thing is how many of the kids either request no gift giving or bringing items for the local food bank. Now THAT I can get behind.