Q. Did you ever hear Davy Crockett’s last words at the Alamo?
A. “What are all these lawn yard guys doing here?”
Q. Did you hear about the confused blond?
A. She had a tampon behind her ear and couldn’t find her pencil.
There’s a good chance you snickered at those jokes.
I mean, who hasn’t laughed at a good blond joke?
And just the visual at the Alamo is enough to make you cry.
But guess what?
A Mexican guy told me the first joke.
I snorted Diet Coke out of my nose. (FYI, OW)
And I was told a slew of great blond jokes by a friend with the blondest hair a bottle can buy.
Apparently when you fall into a category you get to tell the wrongest of the wrong jokes.
Um. YAY ME!!!
Cause, dudes.
I’m Asian. I’m female. I’m in a freaking wheelchair.
So I figure one of the benefits of being in a wheelchair is telling handicap jokes.
A guy in a bar mimics throwing. “What sport?” The answer was javelin toss.
The guy mimics swimming. “What sport?” The answer was pretty obvious.
The guy then just smacks his forehead repeatedly with his palm. “What sport?”.
His friends are at a bit of a loss.
“Hurdles at the ParaOlympics!”
You’re welcome.w
You have to wipe up your own Diet Coke.
About Anissa Mayhew
The Special Olympics is for people who have mental disabilities: “Special Olympics is an international organization and competition held every two years, alternating between Summer and Winter Games, for people who have intellectual disabilities.”
So, your joke is making fun of people who have mental disabilities, NOT necessarily people in wheelchairs. You just made fun of mentally challenged people. Not cool.
The paralympics are for people with PHYSICAL disabilities. “The Paralympic Games are a major international multi-sport event where athletes with a physical disability compete; this includes athletes with mobility disabilities, amputations, blindness, and Cerebral Palsy.”
Maybe you should change your joke.
Yes. It is a thing to be held in the highest respect. So is being in a wheelchair.
It’s noy FUNNY.
But,like many things, it has funny aspects. Things you can laugh about.
And never, not once, am I telling you that you should MAKE FUN of anyone.
I’m asking you to laugh along with me.
I AM sorry I got Olympics wrong. I will correct that.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Truly, the only thing I objected to was your use of the Special Olympics, when I thought you might have meant the Paralympics.
I fully support laughter as therapy, and revel in people who can make fun of themselves.
Carry on.
I want to be sure that you understand how important it is that you know that I never make fun of any disability.
Physical and Mental disabilities have been something I grew up with.
A person I love battles these issues.
So don’t ever mistake a typo with a lack of heart.
There is a difference between “laughing with” AND “laughing at”.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Maybe we should all just take a dose of That Was Hilarious!
You’re lucky I’m only sipping coffee so far Anissa. Diet Coke hurts like a bitch. Stings the nostrils, if you will.
Twitter Name: shuggilippo
There’s a full disclaimer around here somewhere.
Give me time. I’ll go find it.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Ohhhh it’s politically incorrect but true. My Mexican friend tells the most hilarious and most offensive Mexican jokes.
Twitter Name: missbritt
I am the queen of politically incorrect jokes.
I was before my strokes. I will be loooooong after.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Look, if you can’t make fun of your own people then who can you make fun of? I’m Mexican-American and you can bet I know some good jokes that I’m NOT afraid to tell. I also grew up in an Italian-American household and one of my favorite jokes has to do with Italians. A joke, btw, that my ITALIAN Dad LOVES! I married an man who’s 1/2 Asian and he knows some great jokes too. Jokes makes living life easier and if it’s not hurting anyone then so be it I feel. Oh, we’ve also made jokes about people with hip replacements and brain surgery. Why? Hubs had that too and if he can’t tell those jokes then I dare you to tell him that.
For SHAME!
I totally want to hear one of those brain tumor jokes. It might make BT patient I know crack up.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Snort.
Twitter Name: schmutzie
Coke kills!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I loved that Christopher Reeve used this joke a few times when he was featured at speaking engagements:
“What’s the difference between me and OJ Simpson?”
“OJ walked.”
It broke the tension. It made light of a situation that people were likely tiptoeing on eggshells around because they didn’t want to offend him. It wasn’t said as a catch-all permission slip for everyone else to make similar jokes, but it gave an open to everyone to let them know that they _could_ talk about his paralysis.
(And, I suppose, his feelings about OJ Simpson.)
As a Jewish person who has many ties to our traditions — and to some stereotypes — I’ll try to make light of my identity so that I can remain more approachable. So people can feel comfortable noticing something different about me vocally. And that I won’t chew them out for doing so.
(Yes. that word was “chew.” regardless of what other word it might sound like. How dare you!)
Twitter Name: mr_shiny
I respect the he’ll out of a guy who did that much to raise the profile on paralysis.
I’m doing the same thing. One stripper at a time.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Well done. Know any WASP jokes I can tell?
That reminds me of a guy I used to work with who didn’t follow your guidelines for whom you can make jokes about. Every other one of his many, many jokes was about “harelips.” For most of the jokes, their condition was totally superfluous. He could have made the characters any kind of person he wanted. I think he just liked doing the voice. He felt he needed a comedy trademark, or something.
um. maybe…..It’s a shame I never knew Helen Keller!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
It’s like the analogy that the ants can tell jokes about ants and all the ants will laugh, but if an anteater tells it he better be damned funny and known to be a vegetarian or the ants will sick the ticks on him. Something like that.
Not that there is anything wrong with being a tick. Some of my best friends are ticks.
Twitter Name: debontherocks
It’s always about the damn tacks and their sensitive feelings!!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who wanted to be buried at sea?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging the grave.
How many Muslims can you fit on a Boeing 747?
Who cares, as long as they’re getting OFF the plane.
I expect you to use the full power of the Internet to protect me from any fatwas. And, yes, use the ‘I’m an Asian chick in wheelchair so you have to listen to me’ thing if you have to…
Twitter Name: Faiqa
Seriously.
Achmed the Terrorist is one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen EVER!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uwOL4rB-go
Again, you’re welcome!!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Humor is the great equalizer. PC…is for schmucks.
If we can’t laugh at ourselves then apparently we can’t laugh at all.
Wait!
Does that mean I get to laugh at you?
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Sure. *smile* I’d prefer you laugh with me, but as long as your intention is not evil…laugh away!!
All I can hear right now are the lyrics from that song in Avenue Q – “Everyone’s a little bit racist” as sung by muppets and Gary Coleman.
Twitter Name: Ronald Mattocks
It’s not funny, maybe you can change your jokes.
I once was excoriated for telling the following joke:
“A skeleton walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him a pitcher of beer and a mop.”
The person who was offended said that I was making fun of anorexics. Some people are a little uptight.
Twitter Name: thejackb
Why did the Mennonite wear condoms?
To prevent the spread of Abes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!