So, no worries, your sign didn’t change, and no one is a Ophiuchus. It would have been cool to Ophiuchus because you’d be a serpent-handling, gender-fluid healer, but no dice.
Here’s what’s going down for everyone this month:
Scorpio: Whew, the money scene is looking rosier. Not Richy Rich/Blow/where-can-we-hide-all-this-money rosy, but rosy nonetheless. More is coming in, less is leaking out, it’s looking good for you, partially because you are being recognized for your distinct abilities. That makes this a good month to think about investments, home renovations or picking up stalled projects. Also, can you take me to lunch? That cool new place where you can use iPads to place your order with robots? I can’t wait!