I can’t blame anyone but myself. Despite the fact that we married after only knowing each other for about 6 months, I knew what I was getting into.
My husband is totally neurotic. Electronics must be just so. He can talk for hours about the maple finish on his favorite Ibanez guitars and the history behind them, and hot wings must be incredibly hot with creamy creamy bleu cheese. At the same time, he can’t ever remember where he puts anything, he regularly brings dishes all the way to the kitchen just to place them next to the sink, and if he were living alone he’d never scrub a toilet. I just don’t get it.
The man also has an unnatural obsession with his socks.
Actual conversation between my husband and I yesterday afternoon:
Husband (on his way out to shovel a foot and a half of snow): You know what would be convenient? Have you seen those long gray and orange socks your mom gave me?
Wife: Oh, you mean the ones you threw away because they didn’t match all your other socks? Those ones? The ones I told you to keep because they would be useful this winter?
Husband (having the grace to look slightly sheepish): Yeah, those ones.
Wife (blithely): Nope!
[a pause, as I decide whether I really am that irreverent. I am.]
Wife: You are a sock Nazi.
Husband (laughing): A sock Nazi?
Wife: Yes. And I do really mean Nazi, in the true sense, not just as another way to say strict or mean. Seriously. You get rid of all the socks that don’t exactly match the ones you have. You are a sock Nazi.
Husband (mock seriousness): Yes! I must have my Master Sock! All other will perish. It’s a sock genocide!
If you weren’t already convinced, this is partly why we are going to Hell.
About MommyGeek
I can relate. My very own sock Nazi NUMBERS his socks, which are all ofthe same type and color. So that the two 3′s go together, never the 3 and, say, the 5. Because that way they WEAR equally you see… We have a clothesline. This man will stand out there while the socks are FREEZE DRYING in his hands, dutifully matching up those numbered toes. I, on the other hand, will not. For this I am labeled “mutinous.” Oh, well.
Oh good lord. Honey, you aren’t just married to a sock Nazi. You are married to Sock Hitler.
Twitter Name: mommygeekology
Makes me actually appreciate my boyfriend even more (he’s a slob)
Gotta love a man like mine, who buys a bag of 20 pairs of socks the same and throws them in a bin. No sorting whites and darks, no matching up, no folding – it’s just awesome.
My wife is the opposite. “Sock Hippie” maybe? With everything else in her life, she is fastidiously organized. But socks all get thrown into the same shopping bag and stuffed in the closet so she has to dig around every morning to find a matching pair. Stripes co-mingling with polka-dots, plaids intertwined with solids. It’s really quite scandalous.
Twitter Name: betadad
Sadly I have turned into a sock nazi of sorts. This has to do with the fact that my last sock strategy severely back fired. – My last strategy was to not fold socks – just buy new ones for everyone in my family of five. This lead to 2 large laundry baskets of socks – I was prepared to just throw these all away and start over but my husband had a fit, so 2.5 hours later I had the majority of the socks folded and I swore to never ever wait that long to fold socks again. So I can appreciate where your husband is coming from to an extent.
My husband always complains about my refusal to ball socks, why the heck should I ball them when every single one of his socks matches? It’s not like you’re going to pull two different ones from the dang drawer. One day I should tie them all together in a giant ball since they all match then see what he says.
Twitter Name: unknwndreamer