Slapping Old Fashioned Cheating in the Face

I recently saw a morning show news report that Facebook is the new hook up spot for people to find their latest lovers including those who end up in adulterous affairs.


I think the people listed as my friends list are all fantastic people. I really do. They live all over the world and in my backyard, they are raising cool kids, they are single, married, partnered, they have fascinating jobs and they are doing amazing things for the betterment of the world. They are feeding hungry children and assisting in world peace. They love puppies and kittens. They generally rock and are good people. But I am not going to have an affair with any of them, of that I am certain.

No offense.

Did you know there’s an entire website devoted to Facebook Cheating? A website to share stories for cheaters and cheatees to get feedback on questions. An entire community popping up because of cheating via a social networking site.

So, let’s see, if I wanted to cheat on Facebook, I’d have to make sure I never commented on my boyfriend’s wall, or maybe I would just unfriend him altogether to not look obvious, but then would that look weird? I’d for sure still want to check up on who he is friends with, who is commenting on his wall and what posts he is “liking” on his friend’s pages so unfriending him wouldn’t work. For certain though, he couldn’t comment on my posts, in fact, he shouldn’t even hit the like button on any of my status updates but then is that weird? I’d have to be careful when my lover is wanting to instant chat because it is fairly noticeable when you are on a chat feature.  Plus, even harder when your spouse is used to you instant messaging with him sitting 5 feet away. Not smart! Twitter DM would probably be a good option though.

Should my husband be worried that I spent a lot of time thinking about how social media cheating works? Besides the obvious reasons for not cheating it also sounds like a lot of work. I can’t say I’ve got the energy or time.

And that’s because I’m married.

About Julia Roberts

Laughing at raising your two kids with special needs is frowned upon in certain circles, you know? Like Grandma and Grandpa find it especially annoying. Blogging since 2005 at Kidneys and Eyes and co-founder of a social networking site, Support for Special Needs, she stays pretty busy working in her business with her husband (yeah, they're crazy) and insurance receipts. A night owl, Diet Coke lover, and vintage photo collector she hopes to raise advocates and activists.


  1. I’m one of those folks that doesn’t think FB can be blamed for the cheating, mostly because the people that cheat that way? Would find another way to cheat. Sure, it HELPS them cheat a little. But they’d cheat without FB. Example? My SIL. Cheated on my brother in college, when they were engaged, a week before their wedding. Then again several times while they were married. Then? FB. Ramped up the cheating to double digits. But she was already a cheater.

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  2. Dre says:

    Internet cheating has just blown up my family’s world this weekend! My sis is moving out of the house she shares with her boyfriend of 5 years because only NOW has he stated that he will NEVER get married. Well, in gathering her stuff, one thing led to another, and she discovered he had a full online membership to Ash.ley Mad.ison dot com. Which is a website whose motto is “Life is Short. Have an Affair.” Totally dedicated to finding someone to cheat with. He could have told her years ago to move back to our state where her family and friends are, whom she left to follow him because he said he loved her. But no. Strung her along and all the while was looking to (and probably cheated). My point? No one needs to cheat, when there are lovely sites like AM to patronize. Of course, one could go the old fashioned route and meet at bars, but at least on these sites you know you are getting folks that just want a romp behind the back of their significant other, no strings attached. Sorry for the rant. Your topic was just particularly timely for me today. Carry on.

  3. nice post….very funny & sadly, quite true. i’m on facebook and twitter and as a writer of satirical and somewhat inappropriate work, my online persona is witty and typically off-color. i thought that was the reason that every so often i would get direct messages from men whom i know to be in relationships expecting to me to start “typing dirty” to them. : ) as it turns out, i’m not the only one. many of my friends get those messages as well. perhaps it’s just because phone sex is so expensive and they’re looking for the do-it-yourself version of the sultry, heaving text on the other end of the technological advancement. i don’t know. it never flies with me. i’m far more brazen to the roughly 2000 people i flirt with everyday than to the one, weird and desperate guy whose wife is putting the baby to bed.

    one thing i love about twitter direct message though. invariably these people will send something out to the world when they meant to say it privately….and that is always awesome to behold. : )

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  4. i keep my chat feature off. when it’s on i always get 10 different people who want me to make them laugh when they only respond with “lol”, “lmfao” and “rotflmaocitipsawisf”….stuff like that. what can i say? i give good instant message.
    : )

    rotflmaocitipsawisf = rolling on the floor laughing my ass off crap i think i pulled something ah well, it’s still funny.

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  5. Mel says:

    Have you ever seen the show ‘Cheaters’? It runs late on tv, and highlights people being caught red handed! It is actually kind of sad to see it go down, BUT, now they need to do a ‘Cheater’s: Facebook edition”. I would totally watch. But, I’m a sucker for bad tv…

  6. Jessica Bern says:

    When I got divorced everyone suggested I go to Facebook to find an old lover. Well, of the ones I could remember, they were all married and if I couldn’t remember them, I’m guessing it was for a reason.

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Comment Preface: ‘I’m anti-cheating and wouldn’t ever cheat on my husband because then I’d have to punch myself in the face’.

    Actual Comment: I totally get why facebook would work for cheating. Not only can I see which of my ex-boyfriends are now less attractive because they’re even more douche-baggy than they were when I dated them and which are more attractive because they’re successful or didn’t get fat, but there are also several guys I knew in my youth that I didn’t think of ‘in that way’ that now I’m like, ‘huh, he’s totally hot and funny and a nice guy. why didn’t I ever date him in highschool instead of his douchebag best friend?’

    But I do think it’s sad that facebook is being used that way. Have some restraint people! Look but don’t touch!

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    • Given that my husband and I live together (obviously) and work together and live in a 1 mile triangle between school, work and home there isn’t much opportunity or time!

      If I’m going to have an affair, it’ll be with my husband. But FB would make it easy if one were so inclined!

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  8. Annie says:

    This is sooooo true about Facebook. I have two friends on my friends list that are now having affairs with old HS sweethearts they have found on Facebook. My BFF is not married but having affair with HS girlfriend of 30 yrs ago who is married with two young girls. My married G/f is having affair with married ex boyfriend from HS of over 30 yrs ago. Driving hundreds of miles to have sex in motel rooms for three days. I cant beleive the random guys from my HS that want to try to sex talk. I have been married almost 30 yrs why risk that for guys who if I wasnt with them then…why would I want them now? They find themselves no longer on my friends list. Even matching sites have list of people who are married and looking…sad world.
    I keep facebook because great way to keep eye on my kids and talk to relatives that otherwise would only get a Xmas card once a year. : )

  9. Wow, you know the motherlode of cheaters. I am sure I know more and just don’t know it.

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  10. Al_Pal says:

    Gnarly…a friend was cheated on by her husband, who had started up with chatting with an old friend on FB. They claimed it was innocent for ages, but he put the friend before his wife…and eventually, they did ‘come out’ as a couple.
    As for my friend, she’s now dating a way-super-awesomer guy who she met through an online dating site. All’s well that ends well, I guess, but it has been tough on their kids!

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