It’s cold as hail & all I want to do is build up my fat reserves (even more) & bury myself in my large bed with a phat stack of shitty gossip mags.
So, in my quest for an easy dinner (PLUS a dessert that involves Nutella! Holler!), I concocted these morsels of goodness. Allow me to share this “recipe” with you so you can bring happiness to your face holes.
What you will need:
- A tube of crescent rolls (or two). I like the “butter flavor” because, well, duh.
- Ham. Any cooked meat will do. Make use of your meaty leftovers if you have some.
- Cheese (I used muenster. Feel free to use what you’ve got. Even the square orange kind will work).
- Nutella (get the big jar so you can eat it with a spoon while they bake. (DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THAT).
- First, if applicable- remove all small children from your legs. We all know once you start doing something you need to do, they come out of the woodwork & cling to you for dear life. It’s like a law of attraction or thermodynamics or something.
- Bust open that can of crescent rolls! I hate it when it startles me, so instead of penetrating the seam with a spoon, I just punch it over & over on the counter. It’s a technique I developed from years of crescent and/or cinnamon roll consumption. (click that READ MORE thing for lots o’ mouth watering photos)!
- Unravel the dough & place the ham & cheese on the widest end of four of the triangles like so:
- Smear heaping spoonfuls of Nutella onto the remaining four.
- Beware of spoon wielding toddlers.
- Roll ‘em up starting at the widest end.
- Stick those babies in the oven to get all melty!
- Set your timer & then take this time to look at my new dirty Valentine’s cards that are making people happy in the pants area all over the world. You know, if you like being happy in your pants area.
- Don’t turn your back on spoon wielding ninja toddlers otherwise this is what you’ll find:
- Take those suckers out of the oven & put them in your face hole.
If you’d like a vegetarian option just follow the same steps but substitute the ham with a carrot or something.