Picture it.
Airport. Atlanta. Starbucks.
My friend and I are waiting in line to get our drinks.
*Rule of thumb: When you are traveling with me as a helper and you already have to push my wheelchair around, I GET TO BUY YOUR COFFEE.*
“I got it,” I said.
“No, I got it and I’m faster than you,” She answers.
“I’ll get it or everyone will know you make fun of the handicapped.” I threaten.
“Mike (her husband) made fun of me for not being faster than a chick in a wheelchair. I got it.” She says back.
I could see I wasn’t going to win this way.
So I took a deep breath and said:
“AAAAAARRRRRRUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPP!”
(If you ever wondered what a Wookie in labor sounds like, that’s probably pretty close.)
My friend did what any concerned caregiver would do, she busted out laughing.
BEST PART: the people walking behind us didn’t see the whole exchange. They just saw her laughing at the poor girl in the wheelchair trying to talk.
She got the dirtiest looks. There was whispering. There might have been pointing.
Which made us laugh HARDER.
“Pay for the coffee and let’s get out of here before you get me arrested!” She finally stopped laughing long enough to demand.
I WIN.
About Anissa Mayhew
Anissa, I’m totally in love with this post! I’ve totally been in that situation. Love this!
Twitter Name: LoLately
That post loves you too.
It would have little post babies with you.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
lol, awesome. extra bonus points for totally pwning that situation. (bonus points are huge)
Dude.
Gimme the point scale. I’ll do anything for extra points!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I just laughed super hard at your temporarily handicapped ass.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
Jesus frowns at people who laugh at the handicapped.
Also, people who talk during movies.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
You do know it’s bad for the computer when coffee gets sprayed all over it through my nose.
Alternate comment-I should have realized by now not to drink my coffee and read your posts.
Twitter Name: DExtraordinaire
It’s like you don’t know me!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
This post made me laugh so hard…andI am not even out of bed yet.
Twitter Name: angi33
I was still in bed when I wrote this!! Mattress Twins FTW!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Handicapped or not, you can always buy my coffee.
Twitter Name: chickybaby
You are a giver.
You and MotherFREAKINGTheresa.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Nice! Please record that sound for me, I want it as a ringtone for my phone. You can move up to grabbing random asses in the airport with a blank look on your face.
Twitter Name: mamikaze
It’s like you’re asking asking me to get all AV Club in here!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Sweet – free coffee and wookie noises? California here we come!
Twitter Name: kimt205
I expect you to be practicing your noises!!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
You are my favorite.
Twitter Name: kimtracyprince
I love you like chocolate.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
I’ve always had a soft spot for wookies.
They also like like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
HAHAHA!! Awesome! :)
Twitter Name: mommabird2345
My goal in life: Embarrass the CRAP out of you.
DONE.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Wait a sec! I’ve pushed your wheelchair and you’ve NEVER bought my coffee. Oh, that’s right, I don’t drink coffee…humm…
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
You need to fight with me better!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Your sense of humor rocks mah sox! This is totally something I would have done…
Twitter Name: lotsospermies
I need your number so I can call and get suggestions on how to drive my friends nuts!
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
No one can compete with a wookie. No one.
Twitter Name: annsrants
Dude.
You should hear the pap smear sound.
Twitter Name: Anissa Mayhew
Nissa, you made me laugh so damn hard!! I need now to find a signature noise since my disability isn’t visible and people give me the hairy eyeball when I board early. Any suggestions?
Much love to the damn funniest woman I know; with or without a wheelchair;
Nadine The Fibromyalgic “Stiff-as-a-board-but-not-light-as-a-feather” Wonder Woman!
I believe I’d pick with you just to hear that noise.
Twitter Name: justmalia
I believe I’d pick a fight with you just to hear that noise.
Twitter Name: justmalia
i would pay you to let me be your helper for a day. Swear to God, your perspective on life is exactly what i need.
Your are an Evil Genius in a wheelchair madam. A very funny one.
Twitter Name: sasstown