You know how there was (is?) that toy, See & Say? It had me thinking about all the things I can’t believe I see and say now that I am older, wiser and have a family.
Every so often I have a fleeting memory of what life was like before it got so complicated. Back when we could leisurely read the paper, talk for hours and go and have an 11:00am brunch (Sometimes we would even read the paper at brunch!) while enjoying a view of the skyline of Atlanta.
When I talk about the past longingly my husband says, “You can’t go around thinking like that.” We don’t see or say much of those brunches and paper-reading anymore.
My current list…
See: My son on a roof, he is 9.
Say: “Get off that chimney!”*
—–
See: My 4 year old pointing at a toilet
Say (to plumber): “Wait. How much to remove the toilet to get that out?” ($180)
—–
See: A rat’s tail whipping around a corner in my basement.
Say: “I SWEAR it was a rat.” (later proven)
—–
See: My husband, ( a little more than tipsy from the merriment of Christmas Eve festivities, passed out and a pile of presents/stockings to assemble.)
Say: “WAKE UP! Come help me now! Santa can’t do it all herself!”
—–
See: Little children fighting.
Say: “Little by little Santa is going to take away your presents!”
—–
See: A new hamster, a bulging eye 2 days past the return policy.
Say: “The vet doesn’t recommend an MRI but we’re putting it on antibiotics and hoping it’s not a tumor.”
—–
See: My son grabbing a beer from the fridge on Christmas Eve.
Say: “Sure, why not, Santa probably gets tired of all that milk.”
—–
This is just a small sampling of the type of See & Say we have in our house. Sadly, if you remove the kid influenced items off my See & Say list, there would still be a lot, so we can’t blame them entirely. Dammit.
I’m not the only one, right? What’s your latest never thought you would See & Say moment? Make me feel better, I beg you.
*What kind of mother lets her child climb on a roof? One day I will tell you about my roof-climbing son (who no longer climbs on top of roofs).
About Julia Roberts
that’s awesome, I’ve found myself seeing/saying a few things lately that I never thought I would say. Things like:
See: 3 year old son in the dogs food.
Say: Please don’t eat the dog food. Ok, if you are going to eat that, you have to eat this cookie before we leave so the sitter doesn’t smell dog food breath.
There are more, but I’m busy stopping him from putting bandaids on every available surface in the house….
Twitter Name: JackieSTaylor
Oh of course! The dog food! That’s always one of the big ones.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
See: toddler peeing on kitchen table
Say: at least it wasn’t on the carpet
Ps- love that not only is he on the roof bur one shoe is missing! I used to climb & JUMP off roofs-y neighborhood was a bunch of 1950 ranches. I lived. So scared what my kids will do to “repay” me
Peeing on the table…good one!
Also? Yeah, the one shoe. Crocs even.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Lately my boys have gotten into the habit of giggling when they say Christmas balls, nuts or thingy!
“for the love of all that is holy and good stop giggling” which is pretty bad since it’s susposed to be about the laughter of children?
Yes! The nuts/balls comments. All over the place…
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
Hahaha!
See: An unflushed toilet.
Say: Which one of you boys left this? It better not be the one over the age of 30!
Twitter Name: ecnewlin
HA! The toilet flushing! So that is a boy DNA thing? At least it is in this house…
Flushing, I just want AIM!
It’s not a boy DNA thing in my house. Oh man, the smell!
Twitter Name: SiobhanWolf
Don’t get your penis out until you are in the bathroom! (I’m a nurse, so it is called what it is) :)
Rachel, we’re all about the correct names here too!
Ah, the ole’ keep your penis in until you are in the bathroom! I wish I had $1 for every time I’ve said “penis.” Which sounds kind of racy.
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1
See: Red crayon missing from the box we bought yesterday
Say: Let me see your teeth.
I have to say, the red ones do look delicious.
Twitter Name: Faiqa
See (and hear) open mouths and man sized burps and farts followed by too much giggling.
Say: Not at the table, girls, please.
See: 11 year old rolling around on the floor, dragging herself toward the stairs, moaning, “I can’t get up, I can’t walk.”
Say: There goes your dancing career.
(Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with said 11 year old other than a serious case of the dramatics.)
Twitter Name: SiobhanWolf
I could go on all night with this one:
see: my daughter doing a walkover,cartwheel,split, etc. over and over and over and over again
say: Could you take it down a notch?
I have a 19 month old daughter.
See: Toddler (known as The Poptart) concentrating.
Say: “Come here and let me smell your butt.”
Twitter Name: Nicole013
This one is from just last night
see: My 3 year old hiding a marker behind her back, standin next to her brother (5 months).
say -”why did you just draw all over your brother’s heas?”
Twitter Name: unknwndreamer
oops *head
Twitter Name: unknwndreamer
I’m surprised markers aren’t more of a theme on this comment thread!
Twitter Name: juliaroberts1