**DISCLAIMER – This is SATIRE y’all. Do not actually use magic erasers to remove makeup. Duh. **
I’m not exactly the queen of makeup. I try, but I usually end up looking like that half sister you don’t want to bring on your girl’s night out. Or that gypsy woman at the fair – you know, the one with the mole hair you could braid? My eyeliner is either to sharp or too dull, never that perfect smokey line that all those other girls seem to have. Bitches.
In the last few months I’ve started wearing makeup regularly again, and I’ve been mainly focusing on perfecting my eye area. I’m always trying to find the mascara/eyeliner/shadow combo that doesn’t make me look like a hoochie or Ke$ha. Or both. Seems I either smudge it somehow or it slides halfway down my face like a monochromatic mudslide. You’d think it would help to have a gay boyfriend who mans the Benefit counter at a local department store, because he throws samples and freebies my way like Charlie Sheen throws money at hookers. Oh no. He makes me look like a rock star when he applies it, and then I try to recreate the look and end up looking like Aunt Martha who’s had too much creme de menthe. Despite my plethora of “try this” and “NOT FOR RETAIL SALE” goodies, I have yet to find the perfect ultimate “OMG! I don’t look like I haven’t slept in weeks!” combo.
Yesterday I was trying to fix myself and of course I goofed it up horribly. I reached into my go-to pack of makeup remover only to find it empty. Normally I have oodles of other remover around, but I’d recently moved and the fact that I can find clean underwear each morning is a small miracle, much less anything else. As I surveyed my surroundings my eye happened upon a Target bag that I had just deposited in its normal receptacle – the floor. Surely there was something I needed in there, besides the usual $200 worth of useless crap I end up with every time I step foot in there for just one thing. As I sipped my large skinny vanilla Target Starbucks latte, I pawed through the bag in hopes of finding the potion I needed to remove the skid marks currently residing under my eyes. And did I find my magical de-greasing rags? No. But I found something better.
Mr. Clean Magic Erasers.
Hmm.
Hell yes, they remove eye makeup. Quite spectacularly. Along with any dead skin you may have. And if you tear them into little chunks and wet them as needed, they last a long, looonngggg time.
If only Tammy Faye had known.
About Kim Trimble
Brilliant! Do you think we can use it on kids? Like, for when they get into the markers?
Too bad it doesn’t erase wrinkles. Then I’d be super impressed.
Twitter Name: DTKMMeLookCrazy
I’m glad it worked for you, but you might want to find something meant for makeup removal instead. I know that Mr. Clean Magic Erasers have caused chemical burns on children, I’d be nervous about using them around my eyes.
Good luck on the eye makeup quest. I always feel like I’m putting on too much and compared to other people I look like I’m not wearing anything. I’m mad jealous of my friends who can create crazy smoky eyes.
Oh, wow. I don’t think I would have tried that one! ;-)
Twitter Name: mommygeekology
That doesn’t sound like it’s good for the eye area – it’s quite delicate.
Twitter Name: msmegan
Great idea in theory (I love those things!) but, yikes, what Alexa said. Be careful! Here’s the Snopes page claiming the “rumor” is False but if you read to the end you’ll see that in 2007 3M issued an apology and were taking steps to warn consumers about possible skin reactions.
http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/eraser.asp
I definitely wouldn’t recommend that. It may have worked for the author, but it’s just not a smart idea. You know how it can remove stains that a lot of other cleaners can’t? Do you really want that chemical next to your eyes? Just google “Mr Clean magic eraser burns” and you’ll see pictures of kids who thought it was a good idea to scrub up with one of those.
I’ve recently discovered a couple products that are awesome. First is Urban Decay Eye Primer Potion. It works great – my eye makeup stays looking fresh all day long.
The other is Make Up Forever Sens’Eyes – Waterproof Sensitive Eye Cleanser. I wear waterproof mascara and for years used baby oil to get it off at night, but hated the film it would leave. This product gets everything off super easily.
Just for the record, this article was intended as satire. :)
I am a huge fan of Neutrogena eye makeup remover pads. They say something like “extra gentle” on the little tub, and they are so soft I just want to cuddle up with them. I mean use them to remove makeup from my eyes (on the twice a year occasions on which I wear makeup). I also tend to stock up on those makeup remover face wipes from Costco. They smell yummy.
Twitter Name: kimskitchensink
Dang. You’re super resourceful. You’re like a boy scout with cleaning supplies.
Twitter Name: robinplemmons
As Cecily pointed out above, this was meant as a joke, so please don’t actually try this. I had a patient come into a medical office I used to work at with, HUGE chemical burns on her neck, apparently her mom tried to take some marker off her neck with one. Not pretty, and a trip to the ER was needed.
Twitter Name: JackieSTaylor
So funny. And no, I didn’t think you *really* used magic erasers, because everyone knows they are never to be found when you actually need one.
But, my top tip for make-up remover… BABY WIPES! Yep, gentle as pure water (or whatever their slogan is) and pure magic. And so much less expensive than proper make-up remover wipes!
Oh, and they are also great for cleaning window frames, doors, cabinets, dusty services, ‘puter keyboards, EVERYTHING! Oh, and babies bums.
Twitter Name: N_Collinson
Just have to say I also use baby wipes for EVERTHING!! Cleaning the couch where my kid put her gooey cookie or anything else hands all over. I even give the wipes to ny 2 year old to clean with. To remove my make up heck yeah! Clean my car if I’m sitting in it waiting for my coffee in line at the drive thru. Yep I have found baby wipes to be a wonderful thing.